Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Faith, Fuel & Fuckwads

They never stop. Nor do they come up w/ anything original. (Nor do we. This is from the LAT.)
One pastor, Ed Black of Arena Christian Church in Lincoln, Calif., told his flock on his blog Sunday that the car -- and the fuel it rode in on -- might be one of the roots of modern society's ills. "With the invention of the car," Black wrote, "young men would change the dating scene, picking up girls, and taking them away from their parents, without supervision, dropping [them] off later after who knows what went on."
They've been against the modern world since before it became modern. Kinda like the Moooooslims, who are having trouble as well. You'd think one of those fellers who wears his tablecloth on his head over there in the Middle East could find a few spare dinars to help his brethren get to the mosque five times a day.
At the Islamic Center of Southern California, it was common before the surge in gasoline prices to see people visit five times a day to find fellowship and pray. Now, coordinator Ahmed Mohamed says, many people come "just two or three times a day and sometimes less. They can't afford to drive here as often. I've never seen anything like it."
Condemned to hell by oil profits. Kissing gawd's ass five times a day is important, but the kids aren't going to overrun both the non-breeding Xtians & whiteys in general if they can't eat something.
The problem is affecting even the holy business, driving down attendance at churches, synagogues and mosques. Religious leaders are struggling to help their members cope, spinning new themes about a society that has become almost sinfully reliant on motorized transport.
The vast Just Another Blog (From L. A.)™ empire is proud to have eschewed owning or operating motorized transport since it had to drive the car of a girlfriend who was overloaded on 'ludes sometime in the early '80s.
At the St. Paul Evangelical Lutheran Church in Valley City, Ohio, Pastor D. Murawski's message Sunday was simple. By all means, cut back on your driving but not your driving to church. "Yes, it may be more difficult at the end of the month to pay our bills and fill our tanks," he wrote on the church's website, "but one thing that hasn't diminished one iota is the commitment of God to love you, forgive you, and watch over you."
We fail to see any commitment to "love, forgive, & watch over" any one, if the pastor (sheep herder) has to beg people to continue to come to church to kiss Holy Ass.
In houses of worship nationwide, preachers are railing against the forces of energy evil, and congregations are praying for lower fuel prices.
Three reactions to that & we're history. 1) There is no gawd, & if there ever had been one, it's sure as fuck dead now. 2) "You cannot petition the Lord with prayer." 3) Even if it existed & were answering your prayers, you don't really believe gawd could do anything to stop the oil cos., do you?


Glennis said...

Please note, too, that the automobile is directly responsible for the infernal car radio, which led to the transistor radio, which allowed young people to listen to negro-influenced music without being in the company of their families, which led to jitterbugging, miscegenation, necking in the back seat and other societal ills that offend God-fearing people.

Larry Harmon said...

Hey, Bouff, where did you get the quote "You cannot petition the lord with prayer?" That's pretty good......

M. Bouffant said...

The Editor Answers Your Question & Waxes Nostalgiac:

Again, we hope Peabody is pulling our leg, or making mock of our theft. Could any one be that disconnected from American "musical poetry" of the later '60s?

And "g," there was a comic strip in the Nat'l. Lampoon many yrs. past in which some business weasel, probably Jewish just to add to the fun w/ stereotypes, is offered a transistor radio but turns it down ("No one would want one of these.") until the janitor (a '50s Stepin Fetchit type) picks it up & starts bopping while mopping, at which point Mr. Businessman sees a market ("The coloreds.")