Thursday, July 31, 2008

Nostalgie de la Boue

Old late pal English Frank (who roomed w/ Ron Wood when they were both nothing – E. F. was wise enough to remain nothing) gets a post-mortem mention in the recently remodeled LACITYBEAT. And a nice job they've done remodeling. Most useful new item: "Wonkette's Weekette," in which the wk.'s best from Wonkette is summed up, saving the time & trouble of actually visiting there. But let's wallow in that boue:
"...I’d bring Gary Leonard and there’d be a riot because he has enemies. The whole English Frank thing, you know. He takes pictures of everything and Frank was his friend, so he took photos of him before he died. It was not exploitative at all.” Frank was a fabled small-time Hollywood promoter of the 1980s, who, when he needed dental work, staged a “Concert for Bagladentures.”
Frank, you bastard, you English El Duce (another sorely missed) you are missed more than ever in these dismal times. One of Frank's other claims to fame was that he has been deported from Australia. Their loss, Los Angeles's gain. Also in the CITYBEAT, a Jeff Simmons platter is re-issued.
Another screwhead anomaly from the Straight vault re-released by CCM, this minor acid rock masterpiece is sufficiently well-loved by connoisseurs and crusties to make the original vinyl a pricey collector’s item. Simmons had been a journeyman songwriter and musician before absorption into the Mothers of Invention with Chunga’s Revenge in 1970, the same year he released this second of two albums on Zappa’s other surrealist boutique label. Outfitted by nature with a standard-issue suburban rocker-brat voice, Simmons ululates like a junior-grade Beefheart through a series of urban-blues vignettes and walleyed satires like “I’m in the Music Business” that resemble nothing else in rock but the crazed anti-commercial slabs then being flung out the door at Bizarre/Straight. Even by such bark-at-the-moon standards, this album radiates weirdness like tonal Strontium-90. –Ron Garmon
Many yrs. ago (almost 38, since you asked) when hanging w/ The (second-edition) Mothers as they cranked it out on stage at the Fillmore West, Your Editor had the thrill of lighting Jeff's cigarette for him, as the show must go on & he couldn't stop slapping his bass to assuage his nicotine desire. ("What? And leave show business?") As good a reason as any to buy the re-issue, we'd say.

Ishmael Reed on Michael Jackson as a Function of Calif.

From Mr. Reed's new book, Mixing It Up Taking on the Media Bullies and Other Reflections, as excerpted in the Incredible Shrinking Dog-Trainer©™:
"California, where I live, is the Mecca of losing oneself, and becoming something different from what you began as. Out here a steroid-pumped B actor who has rented his face to some elderly social Darwinists can become governor. Brooklyn-born men and women become swamis and adopt Buddhism as a hobby. . . . And the current president, born to a patrician New England family, who was AWOL from his National Guard duties, enjoys dressing up as Tom Mix or Chuck Yeager. Jackson isn't a freak; Jackson is an American."
Well, he's a freaky American.

Bandwagon Jumped, Or About To Be

We're still not sure if we're on the former Brooklyn Bums (said w/ affection, or affectation) bandwagon, even though said L. A. Dodgers are seven & three over the last ten games & just acquired Manny Ramirez, the whack job & ball-whacker, from Boston's World Champion Red Sox. We're definitely on the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim bandwagon. Best record in the majors, & winning on the road, as indicated by the three game sweep of the Beantown bozos at Fenway that was concluded last night. Freeway Series? Not fucking likely. As of now. We'll see how the Bums do against the division-leading Snakes of Arizona over the wknd. before climbing the rest of the way onto their proverbial bandwagon.

Annals of (Canadian) Crime

Hokey Smokes!! In its entirety:
WINNIPEG, Manitoba - A passenger sleeping on a Greyhound bus was killed and decapitated by his seatmate on Wednesday night as the vehicle rolled across the Canadian prairies, witnesses said. "All of a sudden, we all heard this scream, this bloodcurdling scream," said Garnet Caton, who was sitting just in front of the victim, in an interview with CBC Television. "The attacker was standing up right over top of the guy with a large hunting knife — a survival, Rambo knife — holding the guy and continually stabbing him, stabbing him, stabbing him in the chest area," Caton said. The attack continued as other passengers fled the bus and waited for police on a desolated stretch of the TransCanada Highway near Portage la Prairie, Manitoba, said Caton, who helped bar the bus door to prevent the attacker from leaving. 'No rage in him' "He calmly walks up to the front (of the bus) with the head in his hand and the knife and just calmly stares at us and drops the head right in front of us," Caton said. "There was no rage in him ... It was just like he was a robot or something," Caton said. Caton said the victim was stabbed up to 50 times. A Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer said the attack occurred while the vehicle was en route from Edmonton, Alberta, to Winnipeg, Manitoba. CBC reported the Royal Canadian Mounted Police took the attacker into custody. Authorities declined to provide other details of what they described as a "major incident."
What a species we are. To our mind, a single act like this invalidates all the "good" anyone has done anywhere.

The Curse of K-Lo

No sooner had high-functioning Down Syndrome sufferer Kathryn Jean Lopez (Think we're being "cruel?" Of course we are, but look at the photo below & remind yourself just how cruel the truth can be. And, you have to be a dimbulb to wear one of those flag lapel pins. What's the matter, can't remember where you are, or of which country you're a citizen, K-Lo?) started pimping Alaska Governor & former pageant queen Sarah Palin to be John Sidney McCain III's veep than this came out.
Now, one of the bright new stars in the Republican Party has suddenly become tarnished. The state legislature this week voted to hire an independent investigator to see whether Ms. Palin abused her office by trying to get her former brother-in-law fired from his job as an Alaska state trooper. "This is a governor who was almost impervious to error," says Hollis French, a Democratic state senator. "Now she could face impeachment, in a worst-case scenario."
Gov. Palin appears to have been paying a bit more than standard Republican lip service to "good government," but power corrupts all.
On July 11 of this year, Ms. Palin fired Department of Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan. Mr. Monegan then complained that she and her husband had pressured him to fire Mr. Wooten. Ms. Palin, in a statement, denied that, saying she had removed the commissioner she had appointed 18 months earlier because she wanted "a new direction."
Below: A photo of the former pageant queen & her goateed (Just fucking stop w/ those things already!! They were over about two wks. after they started, in the mid-'80s.) husband at her inauguration as governor in December 2006. Photo: Al Grillo/AP

Annals of Posthumous Nepotism & Bitterness, Or: "Nice Work If You Can Get It"

Gee, too fucking bad that our immediate paternal ancestor wasn't well-known & "respected" in a field or company we would have been interested in when he died young, isn't it? We were only sixteen then (it happened 10 days before our seventeenth birthday) but that wouldn't have been too young to start, would it?
Russert, 22, a May graduate of Boston College with a degree in history and communications, will cover the youth vote through the national political conventions and the general election, the network said. Russert said he would be an at-large correspondent reporting for many of NBC’s outlets, including “NBC Nightly News,” TODAY, MSNBC and
How many 22 yr.-olds start their careers as "at-large correspondents" for one of the major news-gathering organizations? Not too fucking many, that is, none. Maybe by "at large" they mean Luke is expected to swell up like his late father, the pudge. Do you think they're just paying him Big Tim's old salary, as well? Or did Big Tim have something on an executive or two at NBC Universal? That would explain a lot more than this. Bitterly Yours, M. Bouffant

Self Expression or "Civility?" Which Do You Favor?

Some self-righteous dipshit who thinks he's hot fucking shit because he has an occasional column in the Incredible Shrinking Newspaper©™ (Sports & Business today remain @ 6 pp. each, no "Guide" this Thursday, or ever again) is all a-twitter because anonymous commenters are "coarsening" & "discouraging" "healthy civic discussion."
By midafternoon Wednesday, the forum had been flooded with nearly 1,400 messages. A few ventured toward rational discussion of Obama and his overseas travels, but the forum also overflowed with ignorance, profanity, impertinence and racism. It was just one message board attached to a single story. But it provided unfortunate proof that, despite its power to inform and connect people across cultures and time zones, the Internet all too often discourages, or coarsens, a healthy civic discussion. It's hard to say from the few minutes I could stomach of the online forum which of the anonymous contributors deserved the award for Most Offensive. It might have been Daman1, who described Obama as a backer of Kwanzaa and called the annual celebration of African heritage "a made-up holiday to celebrate the first time Dr. J dunked from the foul line." Or perhaps the top offender might have been Dianne72, who complained about "the 'whitey' rants of Michelle Shaniqua Obama. Doesn't she realize that it was whitey's affirmative action policies that got her where she is today?" Those gentle souls, with their concocted and racially charged stereotypes, had company from a platoon of other name-callers, including soonipi6, who railed over "the most corrupt, most insidious, most fascist, most criminal collection of Republicans I have witnessed in my 63 years as an American."
We certainly wonder what's wrong w/ soonipi6's statement. Name-calling, or simple fact? Just Another Blog's™ editorial staff has only been suffering in this world of shit & pain into which it never asked to be born for a mere 54 yrs. (sadly, as an American all that time) & it's never seen a collection of Republicans (or Democrats) more corrupt, insidious, fascist, or criminal than the current collection; this includes the Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Bush 41 & Clinton admins., all of whom combined cannot equal the sheer perfidy of Bush 43's cabal. Tell us, Mr. Rainey, how is a perhaps subjective, but certainly close to any objective truth, analysis of this crop of Republicans in any way comparable to the juvenile racism of the two others you quoted? Another effort by the mainstream old media to be balanced, objective & "fair?" That's why your pathetic fucking newspaper is disappearing around you, dimbulb. If your selections reflect the majority of the coarse discourse, it seems as if the right wingers are cretinous, racist idiots, & the leftists are angry but righteous. Why not just a little note to that effect, rather than dragging the left into what is essentially a rightist phenomenon? You stupid bastard. (Did we already call him that?) And Rainey, you obnoxious, fuckfaced, prissy, oversensitive moron, when the body politic is suffering under the "most corrupt, most insidious, most fascist, most criminal collection of Republicans I have witnessed in my 63 years as an American," it's probably an excellent idea to be as anonymous as possible, considering that Bush's Gestapo can & does listen to & read everything said or typed over the 'phones & interwebs, the "laws" notwithstanding. Of course, thanks to the miracles of technology, it can all be traced back to the coarseners anyway, but not before their entire lives (credit ratings, book, weapon & other purchases, health records, you name it) have been laid out for the FBI or worse to use against them. Why shouldn't we attempt to be as anonymous as possible until we've been traced back to our bunkers? Mr. Civil Discourse continues:
"The people who post on these sites have become accustomed to behaving like beasts because they can, because no one is really monitoring them," said Keen, whose polemic on the dangers of the Internet, "The Cult of the Amateur," is due in paperback next month. "It's creating this civic vulgarity that we don't need." Webmasters could begin to fix the problem and heighten the level of discussion by requiring folks who want to share their views to also agree to publication of their real names. If you're not willing to put your name beside that lovely screed, maybe it really isn't fully fit for human consumption.
Here's another clue for you, old media crapbrain: Unless webmasters take down the names & numbers of those wish to express themselves, & have the would-be commenters completely investigated before allowing them to type, a requirement to use "real names" is easily defeated by fabricating a "real" sounding name: John Smith, Mary Jones, or any other name selected from the 'phone book or any other source. "James Rainey," for example. How'd you like some of this profane, ignorant, racist impertinence (Is "impertinence" like being "uppity?") posted over your name, Rainey. Fuck you, the horse you rode in on, & your stinking, lousy column, bee-atch!! Yours for coarse, anonymous, vulgarity, impertinence & hate, we remain, as B/4, Malignant "Chas." Bouffant

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Trig's "Mom" For McCain's Veep

At NRO (That's NationalReviewONLINE, not National Reconnaissance Office, we think.) editor Kathryn Jean Lopez lets us know why Big John McCain should pick Alaska goobernator Sarah Palin.
John McCain could save lives with his vice-presidential pick. “I’m looking at him right now, and I see perfection. Yeah, he has an extra chromosome. I keep thinking, in our world, what is normal and what is perfect?” That’s Alaska’s Republican governor, Sarah Palin, talking about her infant son, Trig, born with Down Syndrome. When Todd and Sarah Palin learned last December that their baby would have Down Syndrome, they not only saved a life but made a decision that would touch the lives of families living with similar gifts across the country.
Our first question is: "Trig?" Short for "Trigger?" Or "Trigonometry?" Or some sort of super-Aryan/Norse name? Second: "What is normal and what is perfect?" We'd like to hear a bit of K-Lo's or Gov. Palin's attitude toward gay people. We doubt that "normal" would enter into it. Don't you?
According to a study cited in the New York Times last year, “About 90 percent of pregnant women who are given a Down syndrome diagnosis have chosen to have an abortion.” (Emphasis added.) Most American women are given prenatal tests. At 44, Governor Palin is a bit young and relatively new to the political scene yet. These are no small considerations when electing someone who could assume the role of president (Democrats: Check out your nominee with that reservation . . . ). But if the youngest life she and her husband care for can wake up a nation that’s blind to the eugenics in its midst, a routine part of medicine today, she and John McCain would be offering human rights and dignity a great, honorable service. In contrast to Barack Obama, who would let the survivors of botched abortion attempts be killed, the Palins could serve as a great clarifier for voters this fall — and an education.
"A bit young & relatively new to the political scene." And, at 44, a bit old to be having children, especially as she already has four. Not quite a "quiverful" yet, but she's trying. We're glad that K-Lo is so concerned w/ human rights & dignity. Certainly the National Review has been in the forefront of desegregation, equal rights & the dignity of man since its founding in the mid-'50s as an organ to free "negroes" from Jim Crow. And the best reason to pick someone as a veep is to stop the slaughter of unborn Down syndrome womb babies. One other place where Down syndrome children are hoped for? Why, the inbred little world of Warren Jeffs' FLDS, where the teen-age brides hope their children will have Down syndrome, both because the children are easier to handle/control (remember, they have a ton of rug rats to tend, what w/ all those other wives & their children) & because they'll get checks from the gov't. because the children are disabled. We thought it was lib-ruls who wanted a dumbed-down electorate dependent on gov't. money, but it appears we're wrong again. Or there's been one of those "flip-flops" down at the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.

China Becoming "More American" Every Day

Remember Sam Brownback, the rabid Catho-Republican from Kansas? No, we don't either, but the name is familiar. Whoever he is, he's in a hissy fit about the Chicoms snooping on people in China. It's their country. Don't they have the right to see what their guests are doing?
Brownback, who staged an unsuccessful campaign for president this year, released documents that he said were notices to the hotels on Internet security. The authenticity of the documents could not be checked and portions were redacted.
Really? Couldn't be confirmed as authentic, you say?

Brownback has been a critic of China on human rights issues and has been among U.S. lawmakers calling on President George W. Bush to boycott the Olympics opening ceremonies, largely to highlight allegations of Beijing's supply of arms to Sudan in return for oil. Those weapons have been used to carry out genocide in Darfur, according to China critics.

China has called human rights allegations nothing more than "noise pollution" and is hoping the Olympic Games will boost its international image.

Say, how did Senator Sam vote on the "PATRIOT" Act, anyway? Even while the Chicoms are watching you, they're cutting your access to anything they might not want you watching or reading, in coöperation w/ the nasty rich aristocrats who run the IOC as their personal cash cow. Birds of a feather, eh?
Reporters without Borders, a Paris-based media watchdog, said it was increasingly concerned that there would be many cases of censorship during the Olympics. "We condemn the IOC's failure to do anything about this, and we are more skeptical about its ability to ensure that the media are able to report freely," the group said in a statement. [...] Chinese officials assured news organizations "complete freedom to report" when bidding for the games seven years ago. The International Olympic Committee received further such assurances in April. But Kevan Gosper, a senior member of the IOC, said this week that the promise will apply only to sites related to "Olympic competitions."

Space Is The Place

Sun Ra by Baron Wolman

They're Doing It Again

From the outright (now debunked) lie to the fabulously fantastic/imaginary, John Sidney McCain III, his $520.00 loafers (Are they more outrageous than John Edwards' alleged haircut?) & his campaign are now accusing Sen. Obama of being "popular." He does have his nerve, doesn't he?
The McCain campaign officials say they are not worried that voters may perceive the ad as another negative attack from their candidate. Or as sour grapes that their candidate, who has traveled widely, does not seem to draw such large crowds. “I’d love to think that John McCain was a big international celebrity, but he’s not," Davis said. "We see him more as a global leader than a global celebrity.”
In our modern world, when the barriers between the trivial & the awesome have fallen, to paraphrase Richard Meltzer (& he didn't mean awesome in the trivialized contemporary sense) is there even a difference between "global leader" & "global celeb?" Does anyone believe John S. McCain III could draw 200,000+ Krauts in his "global leader" capacity? And just where does McCain's flunky get off referring to McCain as a "global leader?" Only place McBush is leading is to 100 yrs. in Iraq & the bomb-bomb-bombing of Iran. Slow down, boys, he hasn't been elected yet, as so many would remind us about Sen. Obama. Sour grapes? Rotten, stinky, you couldn't even mush them into wine grapes would be more like it.

And Counting...

Our long national nightmare will be over eventually: Countdown to Dem convention: 26 days Countdown to GOP convention: 33 days Countdown to Election Day 2008: 97 days Countdown to Inauguration Day 2009: 174 days

Shorter Jonah Goldberg

From yesterday's Incredible Shrinking Newspaper©™ (Sports & Business holding steady @ 6 pp. each.) we bring you the shorter, but not sweeter Jonah: Niggers Nigras The coloreds Negroes are uppity & racist. The United States has always lived up to to its ideals, give or take a few hundred years. ESPN is part of the international liberal media conspiracy. "Liberalism" consists of "the "stench of self-congratulation," & "gloating," & is "self-indulgent." Giving the "violent" Black Power salute led directly to the terrorist murders at the 1972 Munich Olympics. Do whip over to the link & scan the comments. The people are wise to him, w/ a very few exceptions.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

No Terminator Jokes This Time

Nope, we're going straight for the "son-of a-Nazi" references here! We s'pose most Californians are aware of Arnold's plot to cut State employee pay to the Federal minimum wage (not even the Calif. min. wage, which is, of course, higher than the Federal min.) while the budget crisis continues, as it does virtually every yr. (Change the fucking 2/3 majority requirement for a budget to be passed, lawmakers, & before next yr.'s go-round!!) Please don't let that steroid damaged prick & his fellow Republican scum-bunnies balance their budget on the backs of state workers or (even worse) disabled losers like the editorial staff here who need dat money fum de gubmint!!! Click & sign, if you'd like to make your opinion known & receive a pile of fund-raising spam from the Donkey Party. (Not what you think, sickening pervs!!)

Hypocrites & Homos in The War of Terror

Below: Monica Goodling, the archetypal blond right wing Xtian lackey. How long until she's a "consultant" for Fox News? Photo: Pete Souza/Chicago Tribune.
The Incredible Shrinking Newspaper©™ (Sports: 6 pp.; Business: 6 pp. No more horse racing info, & no more of the cursory stock coverage they had been providing.) today covers the most recent Justice Dep't. report on hiring & firing of U. S. Attys., & brings S-E-X into it.

In the second of a series of reports on the politically charged tenure of former Atty. Gen. Alberto R. Gonzales, the department's inspector general found that two former Justice aides used sexual orientation as a litmus test in deciding whom they would hire or fire.

The report describes an alleged "sexual relationship" between a career prosecutor and a U.S. attorney, who were not named. Margaret M. Chiara, the former U.S. attorney in Grand Rapids, Mich., said in an interview with The Times that she now believed she was fired because of the erroneous belief that she was having a relationship with career prosecutor Leslie Hagen.
The NYT mentions this as well, but not at the length the ISN does, & the WaPo gives it only one line.

Good contrasts from the ISN:

Goodling also sought out the advice of the White House and other Republicans in filling vacant immigration judge positions. Goodling -- who declined to be interviewed by the authors of the report -- previously testified that, based on advice from Sampson, she incorrectly had believed that it was legal to consider political factors in selecting judges.
Emphasis ours. Goodling wouldn't talk to the DoJ people investigating this, yet:

Lawyers for Goodling released a statement saying that her testimony before Congress had brought to light many of the abuses included in Monday's report. They described the testimony as "among the most candid and meticulous that has
been seen on Capitol Hill in decades."

Please. Just stop it, lawyer boy.

The WaPo reports:

John M. Dowd, an attorney for Goodling, said yesterday that she deserved praise, not scorn, for her "exceptional candor" with Congress last year. "Each and every one of the core conclusions of the OIG/OPR report . . . is consistent with and indeed derived from Ms. Goodling's testimony before the House Judiciary Committee," he said.
It should be noted that Ms. Goodling testified before Congrefs under a grant of immunity. Odd that she was so forthcoming then (about her own activities) yet wouldn't speak to the Justice Dep't. investigators when there was no immunity involved.

There's more fun though. From the NYT:

In Ms. Goodling’s notes from the interviews, she would give a shorthand assessment of how well they fared on threshold political issues, as in the notation for one candidate who she wrote was aptly conservative on “god, guns + gays.”
Would that be the same "god, guns + gays" that Sen. Obama was given such a hard time about, when he claimed that certain bitter groups clung to those same Gs, even as the economy fell down around them? Where would he get an idea like that?

And where would the Bush admin. get an idea like this?

According to the report, officials at the White House first developed a method of searching the Internet to glean the political leanings of a candidate and introduced it at a White House seminar called The Thorough Process of Investigation. Justice Department officials then began using the technique to search for key phrases or words in an applicant’s background, like “abortion,” “homosexual,” “Florida recount,” or “guns.”
The WaPo gives us some numbers:

Thirty-four candidates told investigators that Goodling or one of her deputies raised the topic of abortion in job interviews and 21 said they discussed same-sex marriage, the report said. Another job applicant said he admired Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, only to watch Goodling "frown" and respond, "But she's pro-choice."

She and her aides regularly gave candidates for career civil service jobs a form designed for political appointees that sought information on party affiliation and financial contributions. When job seekers sometimes raised objections, Goodling replied that the form was a mistake, showing that she was "aware that it was improper," the report said.
Not to forget the S-E-X part, again from the ISN:

One official told investigators about a conversation in which he told Goodling that he had heard the rumors that the women were lesbians. He said Goodling responded to that news "by putting her head in her hands and asking why no one had told her about this information before."

A former public affairs officer who became the Justice Department's liaison with the White House, Goodling testified under a grant of immunity before the House Judiciary Committee that she had "crossed a line" and allowed political and other impermissible factors to affect her hiring decisions.
Public affairs officer. What more need one say. Just think "Dana Perino."

The latest disclosures include a finding that Goodling rejected the application of a career terrorism prosecutor for a job at Justice Department headquarters because his wife was active in local Democratic politics. The report said a less-qualified candidate was hired.
The War of Terror. As long as the current administration doesn't have to hire experienced people w/ Democratic wives, or gay people who speak Arabic, they'll be taking it to the enemy!!

Earthquake Update

We're used to this sort of foolishness around here. We felt it, even in Santa Monica, many miles from the epicenter, neither serious damages nor serious injuries were reported, nothing to see here, move along. On a personal note, we were of course quite disappointed that the apocalypse hadn't arrived. We continue to hope that it was merely a pre-shock, or that an aftershock will be larger & meaner.

5.6 Quake in L. A.!!!!!!

Right Wing Marching Orders (Licenses Included)

The Knoxville UU Church shooter, Jim Adkisson, seems to have been getting his paranoid concepts directly from the world of Rabid Weasel talk radio & the books written by the hosts thereof.

Knoxville Police Chief Sterling P. Owen IV
...said Adkisson wrote that he was angered by "his lack of being able to obtain a job," a reduction in his food stamp allotment, and "the liberal movement." Owen explained the liberal movement, as defined by Adkisson, included liberal philosophies and issues pertaining to gays.
Rightist logic: "My food stamp allotment is being reduced, I'm gonna go shoot me some lib-ruls."

Knoxville Police Department Investigator Steve Still wrote in the search warrant that Adkisson "admitted to shooting McKendry and several others at the church."

Adkisson went on a rampage at the church, Still wrote, "because of its liberal teachings and his belief that all liberals should be killed because they were ruining the country, and that he felt that the Democrats had tied his country's hands in the war on terror and they had ruined every institution in America with the aid of major media outlets."

Adkisson, who had served in the military, said "that because he could not get to the leaders of the liberal movement he would then target those that had voted them in office," the search warrant states.

It will surprise most lib-ruls that there is a "liberal movement," let alone that it has any "leaders." And if anyone has tied America's hands in the war of terror, it's G. W. Bush, by tying up virtually all American forces not in Afghanistan in the Iraq occupation.

Still seized three books from Adkisson's home, including "The O'Reilly Factor," by television commentator Bill O'Reilly; "Liberalism is a Mental Disorder," by radio personality Michael Savage; and "Let Freedom Ring," by political pundit Sean Hannity.
No, really? Since when is Hannity a "political pundit?" He's a telebision/radio hack like O'Reilly & Weiner (Savage).

And click here for a bit of information about what a "law-abiding citizen," you know, the kind who should be able to own guns, for self-defense (maybe killing "liberals" is considered self-defense by certain smaller-penised elements of our society) Mr. Adkisson was.

The Adkissones' marriage disintegrated eight years ago after Adkisson had been drinking heavily and then put a gun to Alexander's head, said Carol Smallwood of Alice, Texas.

According to Anderson County Court records, as their marriage went awry, Jim David Adkisson said he had an option.

That choice was to blow his wife's brains out and then do the same to himself, an order of protection in Anderson County Chancery Court shows.

Yet this guy who

"...always had the attitude the government was trying to get him,'' Smallwood said. "He disliked blacks, gays, anyone who was a different color or just different from him.

"He's a very intelligent man but he couldn't get in the mainstream and hold a job,'' Smallwood said.

was able to purchase

...the shotgun "about a month ago" at a pawn shop. Owen declined to identify the pawn shop, but police said the business is located in Anderson County.

How many more of these incidents will it take before the lib-ruls stop tying our hands w/ their gun regulations, constitutional rights other than the Second Amendment? When will we be free to continue the war of terror w/ our hands free, & our spirit proud? Here are a couple of licenses to get you started.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Annals of The Great October Revolution & McCain's Real Age?

From the former Soviet Union's number one tabloid, PRAVDA, we get this headline:
Communists worship only ten percent of Lenin’s embalmed body State Duma deputy Vladimir Medinsky is certain that the Russian authorities have at least four highly serious reasons to bury the body of Vladimir Lenin, the mummy of which is currently resting in Lenin’s Tomb on Moscow’s Red Square. “Let us not deceive ourselves with illusions of preserving Lenin’s body at Mausoleum. There is only ten percent of his body resting there,” the official said.
Also noted in PRAVDA: McCain is even older than previously believed. We quote:
"We need to improve their behavior," McCain told ABC television when asked about his threat to exclude Russia from the Group of Eight if he wins the White House in November. The 77-year-old candidate harshly criticized Russia’s foreign policy.
77? What happened to 71? But who would know better than the KGB?

Novak Hit & Run Clarified

It was only last wk. that we said Washington weasel-dick Robert "The Prince of Darkness" Novak was either demented or an out & out liar.

It may well have been dementia. We still believe him to be a liar, but the brain tumor he's about to die of could have been pressing on his optic nerve, lessening his peripheral vision so that Novak couldn't see the pedestrian he ran over while driving his black convertible Corvette™, either before he hit the guy or when the victim was "sort of splayed into the windshield."

“I know Bob will confront this challenge with the same courage with which he has taken on the political establishment in Washington for decades,” said House Republican Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio.
Sure, John. Here's a perfect example of His Princely Majesty "taking on the political establishment in Washington," by serving as Dick Cheney's mouthpiece. (Take that any way you'd like, vulgarians.)

Novak was criticized after he was the first to publicly reveal the name of CIA operative Valerie Plame in a 2003 column. His column came out eight days after Plame’s husband, Joseph Wilson, said the Bush administration had twisted prewar intelligence to exaggerate the Iraqi threat.

House Republican Whip Roy Blunt, of Missouri, said Novak’s record of reporting and commenting on American elections “has never failed to demonstrate keen insight and a peerless political acumen.”

“I want to join the many wishing Bob all the best as he confronts this challenge and a speedy recovery as he looks to resume his work,” Blunt said in a statement.
Any statements from anyone to the left of Attila the Hun? No? OK, let's move along then.

Guns for the "Law-Abiding" Who Hate Homos & Liberals

No report yet as to what, if any, kind of criminal record accused Tennessee Valley UU Church shooting suspect 58-yr.-old Jim D. Adkisson had. Google™ it here.
Police said they took the precautions because they had reports that Adkisson was a former member of the Army's 101st Airborne Division. They recovered a handgun at the residence as well as a letter from the state of Tennessee saying Adkisson's food stamps were going to be reduced.
But he served his country. And was receiving food stamps. (Let this serve as a warning to Los Angeles County Department of Public Social Services employees thinking of taking away The Editor's measly food stamp allotment, just because he's been granted Social Security disability payments.)

Adkisson, who told police he had no relatives, planned to be killed by police, Owen said.

"He indicated also in that letter that he expected to be in there shooting people until the police arrived and he fully expected to be killed by the responding police," he said.

But attendees were able to tackle him and hold him until police arrived.

Bill Haslem, the mayor of Knoxville, hailed the parishioners for their courage.

"It’s a tragedy for our city, particularly for this church congregation, but the way they reacted both in terms of supporting and in terms of subduing the shooter has really made a horrible situation better because it really could have been much worse," he told FOX News on Monday.

The two slain church members were identified as Greg McKendry and Linda Kraeger.

McKendry, 60, a burly usher "stood in the front of the gunman and took the blast to protect the rest of us," church member Barbara Kemper said.

Didn't take a bunch of "carrying" church-goers to stop the allegedly gay & liberal hating Adkisson. Just one man w/ enough guts to stand up & take a load of shot for others (not un-Christian, surprising for a Xtian) & some more to tackle him. Bear in mind as well that Adkisson was completely ready to commit "suicide by cop." Or by armed church goers. The idea that spree killers will be dissuaded by the possibility of their potential victims being armed is again shown to be bullshit. We're betting that most "carriers" would have been among those cowering under the pews anyway. They live in fear, & should probably die that way as well.

Knoxville police said 58-year-old Jim Adkisson left a four page note, expressing frustration over his inability to get a job and anger at what he described as “the liberal movement.”

The Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist Church, which was the target of Sunday morning’s shooting, has been an advocate for racial and gender equality as well as gay rights. Investigators said it appears the gunman chose this church intentionally and that the case is being investigated as a “hate crime.”

Please note that The Editor here, as well as being a food stamp parasite, is one of those loners w/ problems w/o any close (geographically or otherwise) relatives. Just sayin', y'know. Not a threat, but a warning.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb – India & Istanbul?

What hath the Beach Boys wrought? ("Barbara Ann" not actually their composition, but...) We've already mentioned our Carlinian desire for tragedy in Beijing. Is this all merely an introduction to a bigger bang? VOA News:
High-level security officials met in India, following serial bomb blasts in two large cities. An estimated 25 explosions in Bangalore and Ahmedabad on Friday and Saturday killed more than 45 people and wounded about 100 others.
A typing Ant reports on death, horror, maiming & the like in Istanbul.
Many were injured in the second blast after they rushed to the area to help the casualties of the first explosion in the working class Gungoren neighborhood, witnesses said. The blasts were about 10 minutes apart. "There is no doubt that this is a terror attack," Gov. Muammer Guler told reporters. "The fact that there was a crowd in the area has increased the number of casualties," he added.
We like people who think ahead & maximize potential. Kurds, jihadis, whomever. More destructive power to them.

This Day in History

1974: The Nix is recommended for impeachment by the House Judiciary Committee, due to the political scandals known as "Watergate." 1953: Armistice ends the Korean Police Action. 1996: Bombing @ Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta during the Summer Olympics. The anarcho-nihilist in us hopes something similar will occur soon in Communist China. And most important, culturally & otherwise:
July 27, 1940 Bugs Bunny's debut On this day in 1940, Bugs Bunny first appears on the silver screen in "A Wild Hare." The wisecracking rabbit had evolved through several earlier short films. As in many future installments of Bugs Bunny cartoons, "A Wild Hare" featured Bugs as the would-be dinner for frustrated hunter Elmer Fudd. Cartoon animation first appeared in 1908 in France, followed quickly by American cartoons. In 1909, a newspaper cartoon artist named Winsor McCay created Gertie the Dinosaur, the first animated character to appear regularly on the screen. In 1918, McCay produced The Sinking of the Lusitania, the first feature-length cartoon. A variety of recurring cartoons developed by the late teens and early '20s, and these characters became more popular after the development of sound pictures in the late 1920s. Walt Disney introduced the Silly Symphonies cartoons and created Mickey Mouse and his gang. By the mid-1930s, Disney was making feature-length musical cartoons like "Sleeping Beauty."
Under the direction of animation director Tex Avery, Warner Bros. developed its own set of cartoon stars, including Bugs, Elmer, Tweety, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, and many others. Bugs was animated by Chuck Jones, and his famous accent came from legendary voice man Mel Blanc. Blanc started with Warner Bros. in 1937, creating the voices (or sounds) for Bugs, Road Runner, Sylvester, and Tweety Bird, among other characters.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Screeching Witch of The Week

It's Tammy Bruce! Hope no one was too surprised. This wk.'s idiocy? In the future, once Sen. Obama is Pres. Obama, we won't want to go outside because there won't be any gas (he wants to tell us how to live, you know) & we'll be scared to go outside anyway because of viruses. The viruses will kill us because of Obama's universal health care. (Completely accurate paraphrase. Check out her podcast if you've a barf bag handy.) To which we can only agree. It's absolutely true that Afro-Asian Moooslims are taking over Europe. You know why? Universal health care has killed all the Euro-Xtians. (The mainstream media is able to cover it all up, becuase no one here in the New World has any contact w/ Eurotrash.)


Much as it galls us to give any credit of any kind to anything even vaguely "religious," we feel we should give a shout-out & some "big ups" to the Unitarian Universalist Community Church of Santa Monica, who stop by Mental Health Day Care for Adults the final Sat. of each month & feed us pathetic homeless wretches a fine & bountiful meal. Earlier today, as usual, we were offered chicken breasts, Swedish meatballs, lasagna (meat & vegetarian) rice w/ those little nuts in it, vegetables, green, macaroni, & potato salads, a dinner roll, choice of cookies, & ice cream. Second helpings for all. Yum. The editorial staff belches in delight. And has a few of the meatballs in a plastic bag that formerly held free multi-vitamins, courtesy of the UCLA med school, who came to check the health of the homeless this a. m., & to hand out the aforementioned vitamins, socks (ladies socks only this wk., sadly) & those socks that people who have sex wear when they're having it. Prophylactic devices, we think they're called. We're much too pure & unattractive to need those. So thanks UCLA med students & thanks Unitarians. We hear you're not really that religious anyway. And Unitarianism is certainly better for upper-middle class white people than Xtian Science. Perhaps humour illustrates it best.
Three children were talking about their religions."I'm a Catholic," said one, "And our symbol is the cross." "I'm Jewish," said the second, "And our symbol is the Star of David." The third child said, "I'm a Unitarian Universalist and our symbol is a candle in a cocktail glass!" A Unitarian Universalist dies, and on the way to the afterlife encounters a fork in the road with two options: "to heaven" and "to a discussion of heaven." Without pausing, the UU heads right to the discussion of heaven.
Or perhaps not. Fuck Muhammad, Jesus, Abraham & Moses anyway. Busybody assholes.

"Slauson Shuffletime" Writer Dies

Below: Two dead guys, Earl Lee Nelson, right, & Barry White. Earl just died, 12 July 2008, @ 79.
You might have known it as the "Harlem Shuffle." We've always dug it, & we thought that Bob & Earl was as snappy a band name as any (except perhaps Sam & Dave).

Our time is short, so we'll refer you to The Incredible Shrinking Newspaper's©™ obit. Note that Bobby Day of "Rockin' Robin" fame was the original Bob, & that Barry White produced "Harlem Shuffle."

Snark of the Week

Well, the Snark of the Week from The Incredible Shrinking Newspaper©™, at least.
What is the X6 good at? That isn't a rhetorical question. It seats four -- not five, or seven, like the X5 -- and the rear passengers must contend with the car's seriously sloped roof. The X6 is built alongside the X5 in South Carolina, so you'd think BMW would understand the havoc such a roofline wreaks on beehive hairdos.
Haw haw.

Today's History

The party's finally over: "Sir" Mick Jagger turns 65 today. Time to retire, you old wretch. And take the King of the Living Dead, Mr. Richard(s), with ya. Also on this date, sixty yrs. ago (1948): President Harry S. Truman signed Executive Order 9981 (as referenced just a few days ago here, in the comments) allowing "black" Americans to get shot dead just like their "white" American cousins in the service of "their" gov't.

Friday, July 25, 2008


You'd think Ben Stein would know better than to cast the "Fuhrer" analogies around casually, but he seems to have gone off the deep end in the last few months. Maybe he's just hanging about w/ bad influences (Mormon moron) Glenn Beck being the latest, doubtless it's frustration that his party has stuck itself w/ the 21st century Bob Dole as a putative candidate, while the Dems have someone who can string together several sentences at a time & appears thoughtful rather than brain-dead, but Stein (& many other Repubs; wait for it, the hysteria will only mount) came up w/ a good one yesterday.

STEIN: I want -- I'm glad you brought up this Denver thing. I don't like the idea of Senator Obama giving his acceptance speech in front of 75,000 wildly cheering people. That is not the way we do things in political parties in the United States of America. We have a contained number of people in an arena. Seventy-five-thousand people at an outdoor sports palace, well, that's something the Fuehrer [sic] would have done. And I think whoever is advising Senator Obama to do this is bringing up all kinds of very unfortunate images from the past.

BECK: Well, yeah, you know what? I've been -- I've been saying that we're headed towards a Mussolini-style presidency forever. STEIN: Well, I think -- BECK: I mean it's crazy. STEIN: It's a scary situation. I mean, I think he has to recognize some bounds on his own ego. I understand politicians are politicians because they have ego deficit problems and they try to cure them by having lots of worship and adulation and adoration. But 75,000 people screaming at an outdoor arena, that's just too much. It's just -- it's scarily authoritarian.

But the best part: "Contained number of people in an arena." Ben likes his politics like himself. Buttoned down w/ a stick up the ass. Gawd forbid there should be any spontaneity or inspiration. What would you bet that if McCain could pull off something like this, Stein would be calling it a new day in America, blah, blah, blah? Actually finished 26 July 2008 @ 1119.

"Did You Know?" Part Deux (Black Belt Patriotism)

Continuing from yesterday's "Did You Know?" (truncated due to time constraints) we link you to Chuck Norris's Human Events column, which inspired this. This reporter remembers when our crypto-fascist parental units subscribed to the paper version (well, there were only paper versions in the long ago early 1960s) of Human Events but you can bet your ass that even John Wayne wouldn't have had a column in it in those days. The pamphlet was (and still is) about a half-step to the left of the John Birch society, but there was no "celebrity" (if you can call Norris that) fetishism. One of (alright, the only) thing we remember from those halcyon days was that Human Events had its knickers in a knot over allegations that the United States Post Office was complaining about people writing "This is a republic, not a democracy," on envelopes. In retrospect that sounds like a bunch of crap, why would the P. O. care, & what could they do, but it was part & parcel of the right-wing paranoia that continues to this day. Now that we've wallowed in nostalgia, we'll continue our time wasting by thoroughly examining Massa Norris's latest. He's on about the word "nigger." Perhaps he just resents the limitations on his use of it:
Blacks can, but whites can't.
Oooooh, "racism."
This is more than a race issue and far more than a debate over freedom of speech. When will we learn that just because we can say something doesn't mean that we should? Once again, we're confusing liberty for licentiousness. It is a classic example of what happens when a society leaves its moral absolutes: Everything becomes culturally relative, with each deciding what's right in his own eyes. Language is one more infected arena in America's societal degradation. Think about it. What word is nasty or unwholesome anymore? There are no "bad words." Words once considered evil are now terms of endearment. There's the B-word, the D-word, the A-word, the F-word, etc. Even bleeps are mere blips on America's moral radar screens. When ministers use G-- d--- in their sermons and moral activists threaten to cut off a presidential candidate's genitals and call him the N-word, can't we see the signs that we're heading in the wrong direction? We have become desensitized to everything, from profanity to pornography.
No mention of our desensitization to rapacious violence perpetrated on those of "duskier" skin tone, or different sexual orientation, or wymyn, often by agents of the United Snakes Gov't., as perpetuated by the liberal mainstream media. (Do you watch the evening network news? When was the last time the body of an American, as opposed to a swarthy insurgent or Talibani was displayed?) But that's America's Culture o' Death for you. Murder, destruction, etc.? A-OK. A glimpse of a life-giving female breast on the tube? Sin!! Shame!! Abomination!! A titty!! Oh no, what if Junior saw it & remembers? Words once evil are now endearing? Why, yes, they are, as slang changes, as oppressed groups take possession of the words used to oppress them (The nerve of those young colored people & queers!) & so on. We're surprised he didn't complain about the use of "bad" & "dope," or "it's da bomb" (terribly insensitive to people killed by suicide bombers, after all) as positive adjectives/phrases. "Golly Gee Whillikers," says Mr. Clean-Mouth, "we can't even understand what the coloreds are saying, & our decent young white people are starting to imitate them!" As we typed yesterday: "It's OK to use the phrase "God Bless [Fill in Blank Space]," but asking "God" to damn something is wrong? (Why worship the Hebrew War God if you can't get him to kick your enemies' asses?) These lines deserve special attention, so we'll repeat them:
Everything becomes culturally relative, with each deciding what's right in his own eyes. Language is one more infected arena in America's societal degradation.
You certainly have no right, as an American, to decide what's right or wrong. That's what the gov't. & the busybodies are for. Where did we even get the idea that we aren't children who need big gov't. to protect us from thinking for ourselves, or the teaching of evolution or what have you? We certainly remember Mr. Norris as being in favor of as much gov't. as possible, regulating as many aspects of our life as possible. Don't you? And any one who could type a sentence like that last one has no right to complain about language in any way, shape or form. Hope your arena clers up soon. Tried methycillin? The world has changed around Chuck, & he's definitely not down w/ it.
Today's America is certainly not the one in which I grew up during the '40s and '50s. Profanity of any sort was wrong back then and frowned upon by most in private or public use. Today profanity has become a positive form of expression, with studies even showing that it releases stress and boosts morale at the workplace!
No, it's not the world he was raised in. (It's debatable if he "grew up" at all.) This really is low-hanging fruit, we'll pass on listing all the incredible hypocrisy, repression, segregation, racism, sexism & the rest of the litany of Mr. Norris's precious '40s & '50s. Remember, though, that to Chuck & his ilk, hypocrisy & repression are the ways to go. They build "character" & deaden minds. Profanity does release stress & boost morale. Chuck doesn't think that's a very good idea though, does he? (If the words weren't considered so dirty & forbidden, they wouldn't have that effect. Think about that for a minute, Karate Boy.) Ever wonder how long he'd last in an 0800-1700 day job? He'd be whining & pissing his pants about his precious "freedoms" w/in a wk.! We know that Mr. Norris isn't much of a science fan ("Don't teach any of that evolution crap garbage near me!!") but would it be too much trouble to have a study or two done proving that hearing "fuck," instead of "duck," "luck," "buck," and the like causes actual damage to children's minds? It might hurt their feelings? Isn't sensitivity to the feelings of others the very definition of being a pussy? (Would Chuck use that word? In that context? Maybe we should just ban it entirely. Who cares if it has several meanings? "Pussywillow. Tee hee.") And our children & their children (It never stops.) won't beat the terrorists by being "pussies." Of course, Chuck's real interest is blind obedience & repression. Train the little fucks that certain words are intrinsically bad & should never be said (especially if "other" people use those words a lot) & Chuck's element are in a much better position to dissuade people from certain ideas & concepts w/o examining them. Chuckie's other real interest? Why, book sales. All of the first half of his column leads to a plug for Black Belt Patriotism, his upcoming (as if your lunch is about to come up) tome, & a few selections therefrom. What saying (or not saying) "poopie doodie underpants" or "Die, you commie rat bastard!!" has to do w/ "patriotism" is a question for someone else to ask (& we'd love to hear Norris's reply) but let's see how dedicated to his country he is. We should first note that he's an Alan Keyes type, who has little or no interest in the Constitution, which doesn't mention "gawd" or "the creator," but thinks the Declaration of Independence is the be all & end all of American thought.
"...The Declaration of Independence set America's course. Though we have sometimes drifted from its highest principles, all Americans have ever had to do was steer by its compass to acknowledge or rediscover the inherent equality of slaves, women, the poor, Indians, and the unborn. All were -- and are -- children of God, endowed by their creator with 'certain unalienable rights.' … "The Founders could not immediately abolish slavery. It was too entrenched in the economy of the South, but the Declaration eroded its foundations in a way that made its end inevitable. That 'all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights' is one of the most powerful principles ever enunciated in the history of politics." And that power can be unleashed again to help us in our day. The sooner we get back to our Founders' words, our country's original calling, the sooner we will start treating one another (red, yellow, black and white) as our Founders' [sic] prescribed and the sooner we will get beyond these slanderous debates about language and humanity. It's time to grow up, America -- to move beyond the arguments of yesteryear. You're older than 200 now. It's time to act your age.
Slavery is just terrible, but we can't have (white) people starving if we get rid of it. W/ these fucks, the economy (or just a chance to get another damn nickel) trumps humanity every time, doesn't it? That Declaration sure "eroded its foundations," huh? But it withered away eventually, & it's not as if we had to have a big ol' war or anything, so sincere were we about our Declaration. And brown people don't seem to enter into his equation at all. They'll have to stop invading us by sneaking over the border & having too many children before they can be included w/ the red, yellow, black & white. Hey, how 'bout those "red" people, anyway? America's really worked out well for them, hasn't it? Good thing we were able to free them from the personal responsibility of taking care of their own land. The ladies? Only took about a century & a half for them to get the right to vote. Love that Declaration! What a foundation!! Or, sometimes. a foundation-eroder!! It's two mints in one! So stop these "slanderous (?) debates about language & humanity!!" Chuck knows what's best for all of us, no "slanderous debate" needed. It's time to act your age, not your hat size, America!!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

"Did You Know?" Part One

Some words are "good." Some words are "bad." Often nothing more than one letter can make the difference. It's OK to use the phrase "God Bless [Fill in Blank Space]," but asking "God" to damn something is wrong? (Why worship the Hebrew War God if you can't get him to kick your enemies' asses? After all, you're so righteous you don't even say "fuck.") We may have more on this tomorrow. Or not.

Fatima Miracle Proves Hitler Was God

Why are we Internet-addicted? Being able to find stuff like this purely by accident, as the result of a few clicks.
The three-part Ra cycle was modified by Christians into the trinity of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. One misconception of Christianity is that the wrathful God of the Old Testament somehow faded into the background after the coming of Christ. In fact, He never left and the public still misses him, as evidenced by the popularity of the all-powerful Father in the Star Wars saga. In that trinity, Darth Vader was the Father, Luke Skywalker was the Son and Obi-Wan Kenobi was the Holy Ghost. Deadly daughter Who was Hitler's mythic daughter? Western religion does not allow for a dark goddess, so Sekhmet emerged in cinema in that early war year, 1939. Behold the young warrior Dorothy, demanding strength from her weak inner men. From the man of straw, she drew a bundle of sticks, the fasces of fascism. From the tin man, she forged steel for bullets and armor for tanks. From the cowardly lion, she demanded the courage of the lioness Sekhmet. She killed rival witches in murders disguised as accidents. Slippers dipped in ruby blood; soon the red torrent would rinse her hair. Now she becomes Scarlett, Witch of the South, a widow dancing on the corpse of her husband. Men run off to war on the false promise of her tease. She yearns to be tamed by the pure and honorable Ashley but is doomed to coupling with the equally black-hearted Rhett. She can only give birth to death and a life cut short. Cursed is her womb.
This stuff is always best when written clearly & spelled correctly. The site itself is not painful to the eyes. Yet lunacy (although the writer seems to believe he's Ra, the Sun Gawd of the Egyptians, a solatic rather than a lunatic) prevails. The above is a mere extract. Visit for more fun. (We thought we had problems.)

Defense Pork/Earmarks & Campaign Finance Boondoggle

Another boondoggle in the works to funnel more money to (un-)American defense firms who do their best to support the Republican Party, knowing that under right-wing administrations more funds will be given to said companies, insuring a decadent life-style for the executives & some of the stockholders.
State Department officials say the upgrades would greatly enhance the F-16s’ ability to strike insurgents accurately, while reducing the risk to civilians. The officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity because Congress was weighing the plan, said the timing was driven by deadlines of the American contractor, Lockheed Martin.
Yep, it's all because of Lockheed Martin's deadlines. That's what counts here. And like hell the upgrades will enhance accuracy in striking insurgents. None of this crap ever works as advertised, or as presented by the running dog Yankee news media. Not to mention that Americans dealing "death from above" (Sound religious & holy to you? It isn't, it's cowardly.) can't tell the difference between insurgent gatherings & wedding parties. Maybe the Pakistani Air Force will do a better job; we're not holding our breath on that, however.

Pakistan agreed to buy about 70 F-16s in the 1980s, and about 40 were delivered before Congress cut off all aid and military sales in 1990, citing Pakistan’s secret development of nuclear weapons.

A new deal was struck after the Sept. 11 attacks to allow Pakistan to buy newer models, in part to reward Pakistan’s cooperation in fighting terrorism.
And in part to reward American cos. that reward Republicans. Not to mention that the outrage about Pakistan's development of nuclear weapons fell by the wayside soon enough. And the alleged distribution of nuclear technology to North Korea & Iran? A. Q. Khan, remember? (Now released from the horrible punishment of "house arrest" he received.) Whatever, says the current admin. We also have some memory of Richard Armitage telephoning ol' Pervy Musharraf & advising him that we'd nuke his ass into Gen. Curtis LeMay's proverbial Stone Age if he didn't cooperate. So why the fuck do we have to provide dime one to him in addition? So our taxpayer dollars can go from Lockheed Martin et al. to the coffers of the Republican Party. No fucking wonder the Party of Lincoln™ is opposed to public campaign financing. They already have it.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Cell Cancer

We can only hope that mobile phone users will soon be treated w/ the opprobrium now reserved for smokers.
In the memo he sent to about 3,000 faculty and staff Wednesday, he says children should use cell phones only for emergencies because their brains are still developing. Adults should keep the phone away from the head and use the speakerphone or a wireless headset, he says. He even warns against using cell phones in public places like a bus because it exposes others to the phone’s electromagnetic fields.
"Hey, you stupid freak!!! Get your fucking electro-magnetic field away from me!! What's the matter w/ you? Can't you live for ten minutes w/o sharing your banal, pointless observations w/ another mouth-breathing idiot?" Does Dr. Herberman think using a cell 'phone will make children even stupider & more pathetic than their parents, or is he afraid of cancer? Trying to put himself out of a job? No, America will be causing cancer as long as its Made-in-China plastic flag continues to wave.

Vanity Fair's Two Bits Worth

We dunno. Cinderella Stepford Hensley McCain looks a little better than depicted. Click for larger, wretched oldsters.

P. O. D. Strikes Again

You live by the sword, etc. Or is it, "You lie down w/ dogs, you get up w/ fleas?" Either way, Robert Novak, evil Catholic, if that isn't redundant, was taken by the McCain campaign, which seems to be skittering out of control right along w/ its candidate. (For details, see The Internet, or the "liberal" media. Though even the "conservative" media seems to have noticed that the Party of Lincoln™ has nominated a real prize.) Here's more or less what happened to Bobbo on Mon.
"I got a suggestion from a very senior McCain aide late yesterday afternoon that he was going to announce it this week,'' Novak told Fox News Tuesday. "They didn't want it to come out the way it was going to come out, and they suggested I put it out. "I then called another senior person who said, 'I can't talk about that, but wouldn't this be a terrific week to announce it, that is with Obama getting the headlines?' So I just put something on the Internet." "I've since have been told by certain people that this was a dodge, they were trying to get a little publicity to rain on Obama's campaign,'' Novak told Fox. "That's pretty reprehensible if it's true, but we'll find out in a few days. "
Ooooh, reprehensible. Poor Robert must feel so dirty & used. As reprehensible as naming Valerie Plame as a CIA agent? Who can say? Reprehensibility is, after all, in the eye of the beholder. But, but, don't go away, 'cause that's merely the beginning of the Prince of Darkness's possibly worst wk. ever. Dig this, from this very a. m.
“I didn’t know I hit him. ... I feel terrible,” a shaken Novak told reporters from Politico and WJLA as he was returning to his car. "He's not dead, that's the main thing." Novak said he was a block away from 18th and K streets Northwest, where the accident occurred, when a bicyclist stopped him and said he had hit someone. He said he was cited for failing to yield the right of way. The bicyclist was David Bono, a partner at Harkins Cunningham, who was on his usual bike commute to work at 1700 K St. N.W. when he witnessed the accident. As he traveled east on K Street, crossing 18th, Bono said "a black Corvette convertible with top closed plows into the guy. The guy is sort of splayed into the windshield.”
Let's review. Novak alleges he's unaware he hit anyone, yet the witness says the pedestrian was "sort of splayed into the windshield.” Would it be unreasonable to conclude that Novak is either a liar (& there is a record of many yrs. in D. C. to consult) or in some stage of dementia? He's certainly suffering from one sort of dementia. He's a 77-yr.-old spinmeister who drives a black convertible Corvette™. How lame can one get?
Novak, 77, has earned a reputation around the capital as an aggressive driver, easily identified in his convertible sports car. In 2001, he cursed at a pedestrian on the corner of Pennsylvania Avenue and 13th streets Northwest for allegedly jaywalking. “’Learn to read the signs, [bodily orifice]!’ Novak snapped before speeding away,” according to an item in The Washington Post’s Reliable Source column. Novak explained to the paper: "He was crossing on the red light. I really hate jaywalkers. I despise them. Since I don't run the country, all I can do is yell at 'em. The other option is to run 'em over, but as a compassionate conservative, I would never do that." Two years later, the same column reported that Novak had gone to a racing school in Florida. "I've wanted to be a racecar driver all my life, and anyone who has watched me drive can tell you that,” Novak said.
We have here an automobile bully, who is either lying or demented. How many hours until his next telebsion appearance as an "experienced, knowledgeable pundit?"

Hic! Dallas Beware, More Drunks On The Way!

Found the AP version of this item on the second page of the Incredible Shrinking Newspaper's™ Beez-ness section this a. m., leading us to the original story. In the Ironist-in-Chief's own words:
"There's no question about it. Wall Street got drunk -- that's one of the reasons I asked you to turn off the TV cameras -- it got drunk and now it's got a hangover. The question is how long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments," the president said Friday at a fundraiser for Republican congressional candidate Pete Olson.
This took place at a private house in Houston, we're guessing more likely to have been in a very nice (though perhaps not Candy Spelling quality) domicile in River Oaks rather than somewhere in the North Ward.
"Then we got a housing issue, not in Houston, evidently, not in Dallas, because Laura was over there trying to buy a house today," Bush said of first lady Laura Bush. "I like Crawford. Unfortunately after eight years of asking her to sacrifice, I'm now no longer the decision maker. She'll be deciding, thanks for the suggestion. I suggest you don't yell it out when she's here. I did tell her, I said honey, we've been on government pay now for 14 years, go slow." The crowd in attendance laughed loudly during Bush's comments before his voice trailed off. "But it's, uh, I'm losing my train of thought."
What a fucking comedian he is. Most of the nation is doubled over laughing. Oh? They're not laughing? They're doubled over in pain? OK. Anyone w/ his money, power, & influence, who was appointed to the presidency, should have had the common simple decency to return all of his salary & most of his expense account to the U.S. Treasury. But he was playing to his base, the piggie classes, in their closed to the public, turn off the cameras kaffeeklatsch. "Ha ha, get it? Government pay. He's so witty." Even Cull-ee-fahrneea's Goobnernator Schwarzenegger only takes a dollar a year. Symbolic, but still. Just as we need Highway Patrols & police departments to keep drunks from running us over on the freeways & streets, we need some "anti-free market" regulation to keep Wall Street's drunken binges from rolling (& rolling over) the entire nation's economy. Actually, we need legislation outlawing investment & speculation entirely. Remember grade school, where the lesson of the Jamestown Colony was inculcated in all of us? The spoiled but otherwise healthy aristocratic colonists were told that if they didn't work, they wouldn't eat. A lesson This Great Nation of Ours™ seems to have forgotten.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

In Case You Missed It

We're on disability & in the streets while people like Mike Weiner are allowed not only free but to profit from this sort of thing?

Seriously, In All Modesty

Because it is really modest. We nonetheless note that the Sitemeter has crossed the round number of 40,000.

Don't Hold Your Breath

Obligatory Daily Item to indicate there may not be many items posted today, as if anyone were on the edge of her/his seat waiting. (We'll be wallowing in self-pity for the rest of the day, don't mind us.)

Monday, July 21, 2008

Cartoon Corner

Just keeping up w/ the "Pop Culture" aspects of this web log. Visit the cartoonist & buy one of his fucking mugs or something.

Record Lows Forecast

It's official!! Gee Dub has hit, if not rock bottom, as low as any American president since the invention of opinion polling.
Overall, 21% of Americans say that they approve of the way George W. Bush is handling his job as president, 72% disapprove, and 7% are undecided.
The real wonder is how anyone could be "undecided." Are these the "independent, moderate swing voters" who may make the final presidential decision, assuming Diebold & various other Republican agencies stay out of it? (A big assumption there.)

Seriously, When Does It Stop?

From the Chicken Noodle Network's Late Edition (scroll down until part two of the interview, it's a loooong way) yesterday, wimpy Wolf Blitzer (What's his real name again?) interviews Secretary of Stupid Statements Condoleezza Rice:
BLITZER: If they say the United States should leave, what would the U.S. do? RICE: Well we are there at the invitation of the Iraqi government. But I think you will find that the Iraqis recognize that they need and want a partner. What we have to recognize is that we have achieved an enormous amount over the last year, really since the surge, a lot. Violence is down, the Iraqi political system is beginning to function. You have Sunni leaders coming back into the government. And I think we would be foolish and they would be foolish to put at risk those gains by too rapid a decline in the American forces there.
(Bold face ours.) Did you hear that? Just when did the Iraqi government "invite" some 140,000 United Snakes forces & another 180,000 contractors into Iraq? Really, when? Is there an engraved invitation that Secretary Rice could show the American people, to explain just what the fuck we're doing there? Seems to us that one Saddam Hussein was the "government" when we first went there. Did he invite us? "Invitation of the Iraqi government," our ample ass! Not to mention that the "gains" made are mostly a function of bribing tribal leaders not to shoot at U. S. forces, & the completion of various ethnic cleansing projects by both Sunnis & Shiites, which will only result in further conflict along the "aspirational time horizon." Gackk!! Corporate weasel-speak from Standard Oil Director Rice. And from the Chief Nitwit himself:
"And they have no disregard for human life."—Describing the brutality of Afghan fighters, Washington, D.C., July 15, 2008
Does he ever even listen to himself? All of these fucking people, from Bush & Cheney down to the merest spokesmodel for this administration of evil clowns can't be impeached, hauled off in chains & waterboarded or strung up until their shoulders are dislocated or burned w/ Zippos™ soon enough for us. Six mos. until Bush & the rest of them are sad unfortunate history. We can only hope that some part of the U. S. economy, or This Great Nation of Ours™ itself are still standing when that glorious day arrives.

English Language Patrol

From the "Ha ha, funny, huh, hyuk-hyuk?" file we found this testimony to humanity.
SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. - Two practical jokers are behind bars for setting their passed-out drinking buddy's crotch ablaze while boozing in Grover Beach. Matthew Craig Pillers and Jack Brent Nicholas Keiffer pleaded no contest to a felony great bodily injury charge. Elliot Tuleja was passed out when the men poured cologne on the man's groin and set him on fire on Jan. 18. Tuleja had second-degree burns on his testicles.
Our point is that we highly doubt that poor passed-out Elliot sustained burned "testicles." Chances are it was his scrotum which was burned. Think about it. In order to have rec'd. burns on his actual gonads, his scrotum would have to have been burned away, wouldn't it? What ever happened to simple "tea-bagging" as far as homoerotic behavior between straight male friends?

Guessing Game

Who said:
"Speaking as a private individual, I would not vote for John McCain under any circumstances."
"I cannot and I will not vote for Sen. John McCain as a matter of conscience," [he] said. "But what a sad and melancholy decision this is for me and many other conservatives. Should John McCain capture the nomination as many assume, I believe this general election will offer the worst choices for president in my lifetime." [H]e definitely would not vote for Democratic Sens. Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama, "based on their virulently anti-family policy positions." "If these are the nominees in November, I simply will not cast a ballot for president for the first time in my life," he said. "These decisions are my personal views and do not represent the organization with which I'm affiliated," he concluded. "They do reflect, however, my deeply held convictions about the institution of the family, about moral and spiritual beliefs and about the welfare of our country."
Couldn't possibly be the person who said the following, could it?
"... While I am not endorsing Senator John McCain, the possibility is there that I might."
Or could it? You never know, do you?
Dobson and other evangelical leaders unimpressed by McCain increasingly are taking a lesser-of-two-evils approach to the 2008 race. Dobson and his guest, Southern Baptist Theological Seminary president Albert Mohler, spend most of the pretaped Focus on the Family radio program criticizing Democratic candidate Barack Obama, getting to McCain at the very end. [...] "There's nothing dishonorable in a person rethinking his or her positions, especially in a constantly changing political context," Dobson said in a statement to the AP. "Barack Obama contradicts and threatens everything I believe about the institution of the family and what is best for the nation. His radical positions on life, marriage and national security force me to reevaluate the candidacy of our only other choice, John [Sidney] McCain [III]." [...] Of his new position, Dobson said in the statement to the AP, "If that is a flip-flop, then so be it."
Fine & dandy, Jimbo, but let's not hear any "he's a flip-flopper" crap about Sen. Obama from you or anyone who takes your endorsement, now that we know we're in a "constantly changing political context."
Dobson is considered a powerful voice in conservative evangelical Christianity; his radio broadcast reaches 1.5 million U.S. listeners daily. Critics argue his influence is waning, pointing to a younger generation of leaders pushing to broaden the movement's agenda.
Place your rodent device here & click to see one of the "younger generation of leaders." Oh, wait. It's Jim's rad SK8er son, Ryan, who hasn't posted on his hip website since January. Must be busy broadening his agenda. Or polishing his skateboard, if you know what we mean.

"glow"ing Hell UPDATE

We're stealing one from Comments Queen "g," who really cut to the proverbial chase about our local "glow" event:
I had fun at "glow" but as for "art" it was...meh. I continue to be amused at "artists" discovering basic stage lighting techniques for the first time.
But, yeah, but, it's, like, "ART." Like. And now, having visited Doves Today to copy & paste the URL, & discovered "g's" item, we refer you there for fuller coverage of "glow," w/ photographs.

It's Only Monday!! Why Is He in the Dog Trainer Today?

Had quite a shock this a. m. while perusing the Times @ Starbucks©. We thought we'd missed a day, & it was already Tues.!! Turns out that, for some reason, the fish wrapper decided to print more of Jonah Goldberg's output than contractually required. And it might not be a bad move for Jonah. Indeed, he may have found his comfort level. The piece, which occupies more than half the op-ed page, consists mostly of photographs, & doesn't involve any complete sentences, just Jonah's "capsule commentary"/handicapping of John Sidney McCain III's potential veep choices. We'll note that he neglects to mention Louisiana gubnor Bobby Jindal's famous "exorcism" activities. Perhaps Jonah should note the ease w/ which his research assistant/intern pulled this off (half an hour maximum?) & devote his flunky's time to more of the same: Picture books w/ simple captions. For children. Think how much the young would hate the "nanny state" that so worries our young friend. (Note to the literal-minded: We're being condescending.)

History Is Bunk!!

Today is Monday, July 21, the 203rd day of 2008. There are 163 days left in the year.
(Can it be over soon enough?)

In 1841, the British humour magazine Punch was first published.
(We like to think of ourself as carrying on the tradition. We also like to imagine ourself w/ huge leather bat-wings, among other fantasies. Is Punch still published?)

Good news from the past: Ninety yrs. ago (1918) Czar Nicolas II & his parasitic family received their due justice, execution-style, from the Bolsheviks.

Seventy yrs. ago (1938) Douglas Corrigan, claiming to be headed for Calif., flew to Ireland, thus entering history as "Wrong Way Corrigan." It is suspected that he knew what he was doing all along.

In 1944, two ammunition ships exploded in Port Chicago, CA.
Below: Brothers w/ a bomb at Port Chicago.
(Almost all of the 322 people killed were African-American, because Navy policy at the time was for black folk to work as stevedores, or as stewards for admirals & other such scum. [John Sidney McCains I & II, for example.] It is now conceded that safety standards for ammo loading were lax, due to U. S. Navy racism.)

Sixty yrs. ago, in 1948, South Carolina Governor Sen. Strom Thurmond was endorsed by a cracker convention in Birmingham, Ala., because that asswipe Truman was going to let "niggers" serve w/ white people in the Armed Services, among other complaints.
(We just wish some Republicans opposed to Grumpy Grampy McCain would do the same thing. It's not too late.)

In 1955: Disneyland© opened, eventually ruining the carnival business, replacing the fun w/ sterilized, controlled theme park crap for middle Americans.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Last Night in a Glowing Hell

Attended the "glow" something or another festival around the S. M. Pier last night, the closest we've ever been to a "rave," & though we have done some raving in the so-called real world (as even the casual reader here will have noticed) this was no doubt the closest we'll ever get to a "rave." And are we tired. As some of our fellow aging wretches noted, this was the first time in recent memory any of us had heard the phrase "last call" used in person. That's right, no "X" or what have you, The Editor himself had only a mere sip of a margarita to remind himself how awful tequila is, but all were rather run down by the midpoint of the 12 hr. festivities. As to the event itself, suffice it to say that by the end of the '60s we were quite over light shows, & those were accompanied by music performed by live humans playing instruments, not the brain-dead, soulless, robotic "Gas Music from Jupiter" that today's young people use to accompany their soulless computer-generated post-random color patterns &...blah, blah, blah, mumble mumble...etc., etc. Nap time.

Another Day in HIstory

Below: First Fascist on the Moon. Official NASA Photo:Wernher Von Braun
39 yrs. ago today, on a heavily guarded sound stage in Culver City, California, the first test pilot from Ohio left trash on another object in our solar system, Luna. (This part of this item has been vaguely modified from the original of a yr. ago. The following part is entirely original.)

Today's Cheesecake: Mrs. Peel, who hits the big Seven-Zero today.Per Wikipedia she is officially Dame Enid Diana Elizabeth Rigg, & there is indeed nothing like a dame. Voyeurs in general, & male humanoids who reached puberty in the mid-'60s especially, may click here for further photos. Thank you Google™.