Monday, February 29, 2016

The Horror!

Chuck the Condor: Hay-soos Fooking Christmas, has onionhead Ballmer lost his damn mind?


Sunday, February 28, 2016

Friday, February 26, 2016

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

In Which We 'Phone It In,
Breathe Heavily & Hang Up

The English tabloids lost their collective minds over the weekend after the Telegraph published a report based on Hitler’s Last Day, Emma Craigie and Jonathan Mayo’s minute-by-minute account of events as they transpired on April 30, 1945.

According to Craigie and Mayo, “Hitler himself is believed to have had two forms of genital abnormality: an undescended testicle and a rare condition called penile hypospadias in which the urethra opens on the under side of the penis.”
Funny, I thought this had been settled some decades ago. "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball" was common currency among this reporter's peers in the early 1960s.[SEK]

Monday, February 22, 2016

"Please Kill Me ..."

Meanwhile, no matter what bullshit Salon's headline writers type ("This 110-year-old woman doesn’t care about anything, just wants whiskey and naps") I can assure you, w/ an impeccable diagnosis in a Frist-stylee, that this woman wants nothing but at last to be drunk enough to die in her sleep, because 110 yrs. surrounded w/ horrid savages & plastic robot simulacra is too damn much for anyone.Send this back to those guys, you chipper little ...

What's Wrong W/ You People

Not a question but a statement of fact.

1,000 Wordsworth

Some fun: Click to this page of the iNternet rabbit-hole, & note that all the Navy (& the one Coast Guard) admirals are officially photographed sitting, almost always w/ left hand over right hand, while all the Army, Marine & Air Force four-stars are standing, arms at their sides. No idea what if anything it all means, but there it is.

Something else we learned: The current Vice CNO is a woman-person of the African-American (& British-American) persuasion. We thought the Navy prided itself on being the most hidebound & traditional of the services.

Image at left from Life on the Home Front.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Bye-Bye Bushie!

At least the unwashed masses have wised up to the incontrovertible fact that three terms of Bush presidential morons ruined these United Snakes. No more Bush Crime Family!!
Now one of the remainng five little Indians will have the opportunity to destroy the Republican Party, & maybe the United Snakes as well. Death to America!! Can't wait!

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Jeb! Bush's "America"

I see a law-abiding citiizen has exercised his Second Amendment rights to be sick of you tiresome people, & to drive around doing something about it. Sic semper evello mortem tyrannis, Kalamazooans!!

Suspect in Custody After 6 Killed in Apparently Random Shootings in Michigan

Six people were killed and three others were wounded in three shootings in Kalamazoo County Saturday evening, authorities said. A 9-year-old boy was among those shot and wounded and was in critical condition early Saturday, state police said.

"There is no connection between any of them, this all appears to be random," Kalamazoo County Undersheriff Paul Matyas said. "This is the worst-case scenario that any community can have."

B.C., True Outsider, Wants Dramatic Change, Spews Other Rot

Someone seems to enjoy the sound of his own voice repeating all the boilerplate, clichés & platitudes he can remember.

He Means It Literally & Figuratively

Ben Carson, currently in 6th place in South Carolina primary, addresses supporters:
'I'm not going anywhere'

end of alert

Today's Tree-Huggers

Apparently this is not working too well.
History shows again & again how nature points out the folly of men ...
Driving through Gold Rush country, Cantisano points out a 120-year-old pear tree standing tall between a community hall and a gas station.

"It's thrown [sic] huge crops every year in the drought. It doesn't get diseases, it doesn't get insects. Nobody prunes it, nobody waters it, nobody fertilizes it, and it is just prolific as heck. I've picked over 500 pounds of pears off of it," he says.

He says these resilient heirloom trees have lessons for today's California growers, where highly tended crops face drought, pests and disease.

"If we can figure out how to take those characteristics and meld them into modern agriculture, we're going to have a more sustainable agriculture," he says.

Dealing W/ Idiots

Friday, February 19, 2016

First 'Tween Prez?

'80s-style Macintosh Phone from Pierre Cerveau.
"Mr. Apple, open that 'phone!"
"Apple ought to give the security for that phone, OK?" Trump said at a rally in Pawley's Island, South Carolina, on Friday.

"What I think you ought to do is boycott Apple until such time as they give that security number. How do you like that? I just thought of it. Boycott Apple!"
I just bet you subhuman retardscretinous morons can't wait for a President who ends every sentence w/ "O.K.?".

When Fascism Comes To America ...

Too late, already here, & Sen. Ted "Raffi" Cruz is the man what brung it!!
As he wrapped up his speech, Cruz, who has said he hopes to rally born-again Christians around his presidential bid, framed his campaign as a religious “awakening.”

“If you agree with me, I want to ask every one of you to do three things; number one, tomorrow come out and vote in the Republican primary and let’s stand together, but number two, bring others,” Cruz said, later adding. “And the last thing I want to ask each of you to do, every minute that you’re not on the phone calling friends and loved ones, spend beseeching God, praying for this country that this awakening, that this spirit of revival that is sweeping the country, that it continues, and grows, and that we awaken the body of Christ.”
Christ on a crutch!

Wanna-be King Cruz will apparently be assisted in his radical transformation of America by such admirable humanoids as Phil Robertson of "Marry 'em young 'fore they learn anything but cooking" fame. Christ, what an asshole.


Thursday, February 18, 2016

Chambers Brothers Still Kicking

Nice catering, Improv.

Today In Branding

You are what you consume aren't you, pathetic branded sheep?
Buyers of Smart cars and Fiats tend to identify as Democrats. New Porsche owners are more likely than buyers of any other brand to identify as Republicans, according to a survey conducted by Strategic Vision, a San Diego brand consultant. (Maserati rates even higher with Republicans, but the sample size wasn’t large enough to be statistically meaningful, the company says.) Another survey, by Resonate, a consultant in Reston, Virginia, shows that Bernie Sanders supporters are 82 percent more likely than the average American to eat at Chipotle, while Donald Trump fans are 111 percent more likely to grab a bite at Sonic. Marco Rubio’s backers are 141 percent more likely to have stayed at a Ritz-Carlton.
Full disclosure: This reporter has never owned an automobile of any marque, never eaten at a Chipotle or a Sonic, & has never even walked through the lobby of a Ritz-Carlton in search of a public toilet or a potted plant in an alcove.

Today In Aviation, As It Happened

Helicopter crash near Arizona Memorial in Honolulu caught on tape; officials say 5 people treated by paramedics after accident
- mrmotofy on Youtube
UPDATE (1452 PDT):
Honolulu Emergency Medical Services treated a total of three patients. A 16-year-old boy was treated by EMS and transported to an area hospital in critical condition. A 50-year-old man and a 45-year-old woman were treated and transported to the hospital in stable condition.

Branches, Mostly Naked

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The Only Culture Here Is Yoghurt

No market (Money?) for culture locally. If an "Art Fair" qualifies as culture.
Jean-Daniel Compain, Senior Vice President Culture, Luxury & Leisure Division at Reed Exhibitions France: “Despite the impressive mobilization of the city of Los Angeles, its galleries, cultural institutions, and collectors, and notwithstanding its great potential for cultural development, the absence of a mature market in terms of Art Fairs of this scale and scope has driven us to make this difficult decision. We are extremely grateful for the support that we have received since the launch of Paris Photo in Los Angeles, and during the research and development phases of FIAC LA: the city of Los Angeles, its representatives, its institutions, and its cultural players both public and private, have demonstrated invaluable enthusiasm and support in these endeavors.
Nice work if you can get it: Senior Vice President Culture, Luxury & Leisure Division.


Fashion Close-Up


Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Monday, February 15, 2016

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Today In Cultural Criticism

Heard awful & all-too-familiar auditory emanations from the speakers & looked up to see it was Der Shtingle, w/ his limp-dicked good-timey music (only made worse by the addition of a fucking pointed hipster beard) medleying his greatest shits. At the N.B.A. All-Star Game. Even were he a Canuck there'd be no excuse; this booking is truly incomprehensible.

Praise Almighty Nothing for the DVR (& videotape) as I have the option of returning to a Tonight Show episode from 1975 w/ Mel Brooks introducing clips of Gene Wilder breaking up on the set of Young Frankenstein. Now that's entertainment, you unknowing millennials!

Not Doing A Damn Thing About It

Meanwhile in this neck of the woodsub-tropical zones it's a balmy 27.2222°C (81°F for the old skoolers) which I hope is earthquake weather. Might as well be crushed by a load of bricks as by crushing boredom & repetetive dullness.

This Date In History

Saturday, February 13, 2016

One Down, Several More To Go

Panel from The Spirit by Will Eisner,
29 September 1940.
It is to be hoped that the morbidly obese Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia suffered before his untimely (in the sense of it being much much later than he deserved) death. Maybe Fat Tony awoke to see Jesus at the foot of his bed rattling chains in one hand & holding a ticket to hell for him in the other, & had the sudden realization that everything he'd done was wrong.

We can only add that a real man, as opposed to a homo-fearing closet case like Scalia, would have died in the woods shooting at animals after his sleep at a hunting resort, luxury lodge or whatever it was called (w/ all expenses no doubt paid by some fucking capitalist pirate) not during, like a big fat mackerel-snapping fairy. Nine children. Compensating a little much?

Can we nominate an atheist to offset the eight or ten Catholics already on the court?

You read it here first: When lying cheating sack o'shit Republican governors force the Presidential Selection to the Supreme Court this time there'll be a hell of a Constitutional crisis trying to install Trump on a 4-4 vote. Maybe this is the beginning of the end for America.

Friday, February 12, 2016

Baseball Beat: One Pitcher Who
Won't Be Reporting Next Wk.

Double-naught spy?
Meet the Mets:
NEW YORK -- Former Mets closer Jenrry Mejia became the first player in Major League Baseball history on Friday to earn a lifetime suspension for performance-enhancing drug use. MLB issued a lifetime ban to Mejia following his third positive test for a PED, linking him with Pete Rose as the only people actively serving the league's harshest punishment.

Mejia, 26, tested positive for Boldenone, while in the midst of a 162-game suspension for using both Boldenone and Stanozolol. The pitcher's second and third positive tests occurred while he was serving earlier suspensions.

Now We Are Six

Another "suspension", not, sadly, by the neck until dead, of a Republican "campaign". Goodbye, Gilmore.
Helluva deep bench there Republicans. Two sitting theocrat Sens., an ex- & a current Gov., neither of whom are prizes, & two "outsiders"fucking loons w/ no connection to truth or reality, one of whom is on top of the heap. I know half of America, by definition, is below average, but at least a third of the morons populating this crappy country are nothing but pathetic jokes. Yes, that probably includes you, below-average chump!

That sound you hear? Abraham Fucking Lincoln having a 207th birthday spin in his tomb, I'd guess at a minimum rate of 14,400 per minute.

Feline Video Dump

Conservation CATalyst and the Center for Biological Diversity released new video today of the only known wild jaguar currently in the United States. Captured on remote sensor cameras in the Santa Rita Mountains just outside of Tucson, the dramatic footage provides a glimpse of the secretive life of one of nature’s most majestic and charismatic creatures. This is the first-ever publicly released video of the #jaguar, recently named 'El Jefe' by Tucson students, and it comes at a critical point in this cat’s conservation. Learn more here.
Posted by Center for Biological Diversity on Wednesday, February 3, 2016
In localer action, kittens!! Via CNS, LAist & LAObserved.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Alex Jones Reveals A Bit
About Himself

What are we to be scared of today? Besides everything everywhere (because of our freedoms, you know) imagine nobodies on top of you reveling in their black uniforms while they're having S-E-X w/ your wife, that's what!
“You won’t learn from history,” he said. “You won’t learn from the nightmare of socialism and collectivism and communism when it puts all these nobodies on top of you who revel in black uniforms and checkpoints and making your wife have sex with them so you can have a job.”
I'm not at all clear how all this "socialism and collectivism and communism" he describes differs from free market capitalism in any significant way.

And how long before Jones has convinced his shriveled white audience that Prez Obama's corps of black-uniformed witch doctors are disappearing their penises?

Wicked Wicked Wicked Wicked Gravity

In recognition of the detection of gravitational waves as thunk up by Albert Einstein. (Albert Einstein the Württemberg physicist, not Albert L. Einstein the Beverly Hills comedian.)
Gravitational waves, first theorized by Albert Einstein in 1916 as part of his theory of general relativity, are extraordinarily faint ripples in space-time, the hard-to-fathom fourth dimension that combines time with the familiar up, down, left and right. When massive but compact objects like black holes or neutron stars collide, they send gravity ripples across the universe.
We see the back, forth is not so familiar. How many dimensions is the typist working in? To be somewhat fair, the text (& font) here was stolen from TPM, whose version varies from the AP link above.
WASHINGTON (AP) — In an announcement that electrified the world of astronomy, scientists said Thursday that they have finally detected gravitational waves, the ripples in the fabric of space-time that Einstein predicted a century ago.

Some scientists likened the breakthrough to the moment Galileo took up a telescope to look at the planets.

The discovery of these waves, created by violent collisions in the universe, excites astronomers because it opens the door to a new way of observing the cosmos. For them, it's like turning a silent movie into a talkie because these waves are the soundtrack of the cosmos.

"Until this moment we had our eyes on the sky and we couldn't hear the music," said Columbia University astrophysicist Szabolcs Marka, a member of the discovery team. "The skies will never be the same."

Copyright 2016 The Associated Press. All rights reversed. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Today In Big Tough N.S.F.W. Talk

Oh my. Law-abiding, gun-toting, bitterly clinging Constitutional Patriots. And foul-mouthed. The un-bleeped soundtrack to a really bad episode of Cops shot at the Ex-Con Meth Brew Double-Wide Trailer Park.Just the first 10 mins. should do. Although Nevada Assembly Member & Total Loon Michele Fiore calls at some point.

And seditionist patriarch Cliven Bundy is in custody tonight.
'Bout damn time. Off w/ all their heads!

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Still Lying After All Those Lies

Just last night:

Fiorina to continue on after poor showing

She didn't even crack 5 percent with more than half the votes in, but Carly Fiorina's team insisted Tuesday night that she would press on after the New Hampshire primary.

"We sent link to public calendar earlier today. Same plan," emailed Sarah Isgur Flores, Fiorina's deputy campaign manager, when asked whether Fiorina would be exiting the race.

The calendar shows Fiorina in South Carolina over the weekend, before spending around a week and a half in Nevada ahead of the caucuses there.

"Just published upcoming Nevada schedule. Looking forward to Valentine's Day with #FirstFrank in the Silver State," Fiorina tweeted earlier in the day, referring to her husband, Frank Fiorina.
The planet had barely made half a rotation before the story was very different.

And it's finally official (We waited & waited so we wouldn't have to pound out separate posts about these two jerks.): Christie stopped teasing us & finally made a half-assed non-announcement of "campaign suspension". Bada-bing!

Here, then, the current 2016 Republican Party Wall o' Shame. Still standing: Two sitting Sens., a sitting & an ex-Goobernator, & in the "outsider lane", the soft-spoken loon & the "Say It Loud, No LOUDER DAMNIT!!" loon.
Ben Carson, (M.D., ret'd.) is a lucky man: While he has no reason to continue campaigning, there's no reason not to keep on keeping on as long as the grift seems worth it, even though his chances diminish hourly & whether or not he suspends his book tour will have no discernible effect on votes, let alone delegates. (And if Gilmore were gone by now, the title could have been "Now We Are Six".)

Will we be looking at Cruz, Kasich & Trump soon/eventually? Saw the Least of The House of Bush on the telly today;
he was sporting dirt on his forehead to emphasize his superstitious ignorance, while standing before a banner that read "Trusted Leadership for a Stronger America". Like Poppy in '88. And Romney last fucking go-round.
Now we have to wait 10 days until South Carolina lets us know what the real crackers want, while putting up w/ "Strong(er) America! Greater America! Blah fucking blah-blah yada America." Stop already, all of you repetitive idiots.

First Response

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Again, Crow!

Bugger Bloggerspot, as the video three items down didn't appear, necessitating loading it to YouTube, w/ all the choices & decisions required to accomplish that, plus the incessant waiting:
Sit tight! Your video edits are about 90% done. Come back to this page in a little while.
& then embedding it ... & continuing to breathe while all this is going on.

Countdown To Dull

Been about 25 yrs. since there was a serious magnitude earthquake north of the 35th parallel, hasn't it?

Today In Baghdad-By-The-Bay

Not mere Herb Caen old school San Francisco values Baghdad-By-The-Bay; actual security theater, War in ah Babylon/South American junta-style. Nice country you used to tell yourselves you had here.
You probably have the right not to be shot dead in the street if you follow all orders exactly & immediately, citizens.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Guy Who Wanted His Picture Taken

I was shooting, he said "Hey take my picture" (was polite enough not to walk in front of the lens, so why not ...)
& posed, I shot, he kept moving.
If only more human interaction were that easy. And quick.

Empty, Nothing

'Phoning it the hell in now for sure.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Seven-ish Dwarves + The Lyin' Lady

Interesting how the still-on-the-run suspects in 2016's Republican line-up are specifically grouped in our stolen-from-FOXNews mugshots.

Left to right, top to bottom: Two sitting Sens. (both of Cuban descent, yet), two political* virgins (one w/ an on-going grift, one w/ a US$22,000,000 golden parachute), two spawn of privilege long in the public eye, & two sitting Govs. from the wrongother side of the Mississippi, neither of whom are as openly theocratic as the two Senators, for what little that's worth.

Also plus which too "not campaigning, still running" Jim Gilmore, ex-governor from next-to-the-wrongother-ocean. Remember almost-ran Dem. candidate Jim "I kil't a man" Webb, also of Virginia? Is it just guys nick-named "Jim" from Virginia, or the whole state? And since we're asking, is Virginia still for lovers?
*Of course, everything's political, but neither has held elected office.
Moments later: And as I realized just after publishing, each differs from the standard candidate in certain innate ways.

Study Guide To Previous Item

Captain Beefheart - One Red Rose That I Mean

Sidewalk Art

A Freudian plunge into the fever dreams of American pop culture.
A) What the hell? B) Why Elvis? Something wrong w/ James Dean? C) La Tour Eiffel?

Wall Builders

Reagan 2016: "Iraqi Police Brig. General Saad Maan, put up that wall!!"

Not to be confused w/ these WallBuilders, but easily confused w/ Donald Drumpf, who may tell the Meskins to start digging a moatrench along the U.S.-Mexico border next to his imaginary wall.
Iraq said Wednesday it has begun building a wall and a trench around Baghdad in a bid to prevent militant attacks and reduce the large number of checkpoints inside the city.

The Interior Ministry's spokesman, police Brig. Gen. Saad Maan, told The Associated Press that work began this week on a 100-kilometer (65-mile) stretch of the wall and trench on the northern and northwestern approaches of the capital.

The wall will be three meters (10 feet) high and partially made up of concrete barriers already in use across much of the capital, he said. He declined to specify the measurements of the trench.

Since the 2003 U.S.-led invasion, Baghdad has seen near-daily bombings, mainly targeting security forces and the country's Shiite majority.

Compare & Contrast

Another version by which to get your neck stretched.


Two more of the hopeless schmucks on the Republican side have "suspended" their no-chance loser campaigns in the wake of the utter bullshit of the Iowa caucuses. "Suspend" them high, I say!
Lights on in your heads, dipshit candidates & "suspended" campaigns: None of you are Clint Eastwood, the images above are fiction, not history, & hanging is forever.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Other Music News

Stealing from The NYT for the item below I spotted this review of 77-yr. old wailer Charles Lloyd's gig at "the Appel Room at Jazz at Lincoln Center on Friday night", & was reminded that I'd seen Mr. Lloyd perform at the Eagles Auditorium (No relation to the cruddy band of the same name.) in Seattle in 1968 or '69. Congratulations to Mr. Lloyd, STILL WAILING close to five decades later!
That link to the Seattle P-I sent me straight down the memory hole: The first rock&roll musical event I attended was Steppenwolf, July 26, 1968. Also there for Muddy Waters and Otis Spann, Feb. 28, 1969. (Silver Apples was the opening act for Muddy. There's a bill!) Did not see Chicago, March 13, 1970, as I'd gotten out of the United Snakes w/in months of Nixon's inauguration, but I did see Chicago there in early 1969. Don't get me wrong, however: Opening act Jeff Beck Group w/ Rod-the-Mod Stewart on the microphone was the band I went to see. (Not that I or anyone else gave a flying fuck about Rod-the-Mod then. Still don't, personally.)

The message being jazz is eternal & that rock, rock, rock&roll crap isn't, maybe. Or just genetics &/or "healthy" living, in comparison to 74-yr. old Jeffersonians croaking.

Another Airplane Has Left The Hangar

On the very same flight plan as Paul Kantner, too. Knock it the hell off, synchronicity!
Signe Toly Anderson, the original female vocalist with Jefferson Airplane, who left the band after its first album and was replaced by Grace Slick, died on Thursday at her home in Beaverton, Ore. She was 74.

Her death was confirmed by her daughter, Onateska Ladybug Sherwood, who said that Ms. Anderson had chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. She had survived cancer in her 30s.

Ms. Anderson died the same day as another original member of the Airplane, the singer and guitarist Paul Kantner.
From the J.A. album on which Ms. Anderson sang, "It's No Secret".
Sympathies & condolences to Onateska Ladybug & family.

On The Road Again

February already? Seems like an eternity from when this is being scheduled (13 November 2015) but we figured since it's pointless either way we may as well use the exact-to-the-month 70th anniv. to note it (& possibly to surprise ourselves).

They are included among about 1,300 photographs from the Los Angeles area collected in a breathtaking new online presentation of more than 170,000 photographs made from 1935 to 1945 for the United States Farm Security Administration and Office of War Information and housed by the Library of Congress. A Yale University project called Photogrammar has put them all online, with an interactive map that lets you click on any county in the U.S. for the images from there.
"The trek of bums, tramps, single transients and undesirable indigents out of
Los Angeles County because of police activity." Dorothea Lange February 1936
At the link, images of where Union Station was built. "Average rental is eight dollars. Some houses have plumbing."

Hey, did those hicks in Iowa caucus for Carson or Trump yesterday?

Monday, February 1, 2016

Delusons Of Campaign Competence

Ben Carson's decision not to stick around in Iowa & take his medicine apparently is not an indication he's finally gotten his head out of the pyramidal granary & "suspended" his book tour/campaign grift. (Why do they all "suspend" their campaigns, instead of simply stating, "I'm a fucking loser & I quit"?) No, he just travels light:
Seriously, he ran out of threads? We all know Iowa's a backward shithole in the middle of the Great American Nowhere, but there must be dry cleaners & laundromats. (And as if there were no such services in Iowa hotels either.)

Then he plays the victim card, because he is a whiny-ass punk.
And you know he's a hypocrite: He's a Jesus freak. And a freaky kind of Jesus freak.
And, you know, that’s the whole concept in terms of the victim’s mentality. You either accept it and become a victim, or you deny it and become a victor.
Physician, heal thy sorry chump "victimized" ass! And stop wasting the nation's time; get out now before you make a greater fool of yourself.

Souvenir Weiner

Apparently were one to blow through it it would make noise.
So it was the 2009 model Weinermobile, & they are distributing whistles produced in the summer of 2013. Make you wonder how fresh their freaking hot dogs are?

Tweet Of The Day

Same Yr., Different Month

One down, eleven to go. Seemingly quick, yet not quick enough.