Three children were talking about their religions."I'm a Catholic," said one, "And our symbol is the cross." "I'm Jewish," said the second, "And our symbol is the Star of David." The third child said, "I'm a Unitarian Universalist and our symbol is a candle in a cocktail glass!" A Unitarian Universalist dies, and on the way to the afterlife encounters a fork in the road with two options: "to heaven" and "to a discussion of heaven." Without pausing, the UU heads right to the discussion of heaven.Or perhaps not. Fuck Muhammad, Jesus, Abraham & Moses anyway. Busybody assholes.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
by M. Bouffant at 16:19
Much as it galls us to give any credit of any kind to anything even vaguely "religious," we feel we should give a shout-out & some "big ups" to the Unitarian Universalist Community Church of Santa Monica, who stop by Mental Health Day Care for Adults the final Sat. of each month & feed us pathetic homeless wretches a fine & bountiful meal. Earlier today, as usual, we were offered chicken breasts, Swedish meatballs, lasagna (meat & vegetarian) rice w/ those little nuts in it, vegetables, green, macaroni, & potato salads, a dinner roll, choice of cookies, & ice cream. Second helpings for all. Yum. The editorial staff belches in delight. And has a few of the meatballs in a plastic bag that formerly held free multi-vitamins, courtesy of the UCLA med school, who came to check the health of the homeless this a. m., & to hand out the aforementioned vitamins, socks (ladies socks only this wk., sadly) & those socks that people who have sex wear when they're having it. Prophylactic devices, we think they're called. We're much too pure & unattractive to need those. So thanks UCLA med students & thanks Unitarians. We hear you're not really that religious anyway. And Unitarianism is certainly better for upper-middle class white people than Xtian Science. Perhaps humour illustrates it best.