Monday, May 27, 2013

Doing Evil 24/7: Time For A
REAL Google Bomb?

Any of the other losers out there who use Bugger™ experiencing difficulties dragging & dropping & w/ right-click functions in general, in both Compose & HTML? Do you have to close Preview & re-try it, because it just sits there turning those stupid gears? (The more we think about it the angrier & angrier & angrier we get.)

At this point we are just about to hitchhike to Mountain View (a shithole in the '60s that we doubt Google has improved in any appreciable way) & cause Google some pain. Yes that's a threat. We are sick & tired of being powerless (Not a good position in which to have put us, society, but you'll pay!) in the face of assholes, corporations & the like, so here comes M.B. w/ some Drāno® bombs, Google bitchezz!

We hadn't known about Drāno® bombs until recently, & have already been advised not to fuck w/ them; unless this is hysteria, the advice may be correct.
Pay attention to this. A plastic bottle with a cap. A little Drano. A little water. A small piece of foil. Disturb it by moving it; and BOOM!! No fingers left and other serious effects to your face, eyes, etc. Please ensure that everyone that may not have email access are also informed of this.
One question: Aluminum foil or tin foil? Or is tin foil incorrect & generic for Reynold's Wrap®? Or does either work? More damn research needed. Either way, we're happy to discover a new way to equalize disparities in power & bomb-building money. (How the hell are we supposed to buy a ton or more of ammonium nitrate?)

What will Google do? Hire people for a legitimate help desk? Pull their heads from their asses, realize what the fuck is going on, & do something about it? There's no indication in the corporation's history that it would ever do anything like that; more likely they'd just shut it down, Reader-style. (Or call the F.B.I. & bitch about us. We're the one w/ the legitimate complaint, yet one can guess whose side the Federal pigs would be on, even if Google won't pay taxes to the Federal pigs.)

Added: Fuck Google again. Look at this shit. No jury would convict us if we did manage to burn down their whole fucking operation & killed every last one of them.  (Not that we'd be taken alive, & not that we'd give a shit were we convicted. We remind one & all that we have no future & nothing to lose,                                             ["Nothing left to life but a pair of glassy eyes"]& would as soon be remembered as a martyr than not be remembered at all.)

Are the NSA or whoever the fuck so stupid that they've told their robots to notice phrases such as THIS IS A TERRORIST THREAT!!!!! while they are reading everybody's e-mail, snooping around on the Internet & generally violating the First Amendment rights of all Americans? Maybe we'll find out.

P.S.: Fingers crossed & knock on wood, drag & drop problem seems to have cleared up as we typed this, which only suggests that the creepy math jerks of Google are monitoring us 24/7. Fuck you all again, nerd assholes. W/ a splintered broomstick.

P.P.S.: Nope, typed too soon. Preview still MAKES US WAIT!!! & we remain righteously angered & ready to kill & destroy.

We'd like to see Brin, Page & Schmidt's pindicks run right through these very gears. The actual size shown here seems fitting for their shriveled math-boy peckers.
Fucking thing was running for all the time it took to type this & get a shot of those stupid stupid gears. Minimum five mins. Fuck them again & their widowed mothers (who probably fuck themselves w/ carrots) as well.

And we notice that Google chickened out & went for patriotic bullshit for Memorial Day so drooling reactionaries wouldn't have shit fits.
Tie a yellow fucking ribbon around your pin-dicks, ass-holes.
As if a bunch of underpaid & overworked H1-B engineers & code monkeys from India or whatever math-weenie shithole give a fucking shit. Hypocrisy is the greatest sin of all, & we'll be doing our best to see that eternal rewards are handed out in this life. You'll all be reincarnated as cucarachas, you job-stealing bastards!

What a post script. We only intended to seek advice, but we have issues w/ Google, don't we? As everyone should.

PAY YOUR TAXES, GOOGLE! (You might not want to play into certain stereotypes about Jewish people, you cheap fucking bastards.)

Oh, by the way: Drag & drop has stopped working again.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Drag and drop?

I do all my editing in HTML mode, and there it's all cut and paste.

Of course, you know me...when I need to make a cell call, I bang two rocks together.

M. Bouffant said...

Hates Everything Editor:
We do most of it in HTML too, but we could always drag & dump previously. Sometimes you got to move a word, phrase or sentence.

And what the fuck is this gray (we assume grammar-based) underlining w/ which we're suddenly confronted? Here's another fucking clue, Google: "We're" is an entirely legitimate contraction, not "were" misspelled. And if we want to use "got to" instead of your inane suggestion of "gotta," we bloody well will. Stupid fucks.

We swear by all that's unholy & rotten that we are going to kill someone who deserves to die (Longest list in the world? Could be.) & soon.

Weird Dave said...

Google Bus: The bus that knows everything?

M. Bouffant said...

Public Transit Editor:
Maybe it's the metaphoric bus under which people are always being thrown.