We Knew It

As sure as the sun sets each evening, someone, somewhere, was going to pole a raft down a certain river in Egypt screeching loudly when he or she was confronted w/ anything denying the essential & absolute purity of the sad-assed collection of losers & chumps who, 400+ yrs. ago, started the honkie invasion of the western continents.

This time it was the lowest of the low, a literal rent-seeking parasite who decided that finding proof of long-rumored cannibalism at Jamestown is libel against our colonial fathers & mothers.

And where else but The Daily Caller to express this butt-hurt?

However, this morning I was disappointed to see sensationalism darken the courageous and honorable reputation of our Virginia colonists at Jamestown.

History might disagree w/ that characterization, but it is only to be expected that a Huckabee-supporting shitheel who is (probably self-) described as a "Manhattan Real Estate Owner/Investor" would think "gentlemen" refusing to work & expecting others to provide sustenance for them were courageous & honorable.

Moreover, given the lack of overwhelming proof that Jane was eaten by other colonists, why were other alternatives not mentioned by the Jamestown anthropologists? That’s not good scholarship.

Out on a limb here, but it certainly wouldn't surprise us to hear something along the lines of: "Evolution is a crock because the fossil evidence/record is not an unbroken chain of evidence, including transitional forms" from Mr. Mark Myers Mermel's pie-hole.

While the anthropologists’ sensationalism may sell tickets to the Jamestown exhibits this summer, the only thing that was undeniably cannibalized at this point was the reputation of 6,000 of our colonial fathers and mothers.

3M's reputation? Married in 2005, Mr. Marmel nonetheless claims to have already had children (plural) in the '90s:

Mermel doesn’t see religion as an obstacle for Huckabee’s campaign here. in fact, he says, knowing Huckabee’s "dogma" means we already know what Huckabee will do. "The other people, you don’t know what you’re getting," he told me.. "Why wouldn’t you want somebody who has good values," he said. "He has good family values. And that’s a negative? How crazy is that?"

He went on.. "I remember the Clinton years," Mermel said. "I couldn’t point my children at the T.V."

As of this, however, "Mr. Mermel is married and has two children, one teenager and one toddler." So he dumped the wife who spawned his now-teenager; we can assume the toddler comes from the 2005 model wife. How, then did he have not one child but children during the horror that was the Clinton yrs.? Maybe our noticing all this is bad scholarship as well. Or perhaps he's a fucking liar, by omission if not commission, & should shut his fucking trap before we shut it for him. (Maybe he ate his first wife [& not in a good way] & this is all projection of denial, if that's even a thing.)

Christ, what an asshole.

Fuck, are we sick & tired of these assholes.