Going Apeshit: The Beginning Of The End

Looks as if it's over for your species. Think your breeding group is the crown of creation? Think again, if a damn dirty ape hasn't beaten you to it. You may not have a tail or fur; doesn't mean shit to a tree:

Zoo associate director Don Moore says: "I've got a Ph.D., for God's sake, you would think I could out-think an orang and I can't."

Icing on the cake? The devil-boxes are in on it:

One reason scientists are learning more about animal intellect is computers, including touch screens. In some cases, scientists are setting up banks of computers available to primates 24-7. In the French word recognition experiment, Fagot found he got more and better data when it was the baboons' choice to work.

Animal cognition researcher Steve Ross at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago agrees.

"The apes in our case seem to be working better when they have that control, that choice to perform," he said.

See? Can't be more humanoid than to slack.

The struggle for self-determination continues:

Some of the shifts in scientific understanding of animals are leading to ethical debates. When Emory University researcher Lori Marino in 2001 co-wrote a groundbreaking study on dolphins recognizing themselves in mirrors, proving they have a sense of self similar to humans, she had a revelation.

"The more you learn about them, the more you realize that they do have the capacity and characteristics that we think of as a person," Marino said. "I think it's impossible to ignore the ethical implications of these kinds of findings."