Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Boobies & Soda

Mark Steyn has somehow, somewhere come to the realization that "Liberty for Fatties!" may be a little silly, 'though his sudden awareness is in w/ the usual idiotic bull:
He’s not wrong on the problem. If you fly in from overseas, as often as he does, you can’t help noticing America is extremely obese: It’s the first thing foreigners remark on, and, if they then prod a little deeper and notice the trillions of dollars of debt, there’s a general sense that a population this unhealthy-looking is not what prudent lenders would airily assume to be a good credit risk. The decline of America’s human capital is not pretty. And, indeed, there is something sad about a crusade for individual liberty over the right to waddle down the street slurping sickly sweet children’s drinks out of giant plastic cups with oversized straws, as poignant an image of societal infantilization as anything.
Goodness. We doubt NRO readers would appreciate Mr. Steyn's dissing the very personification of Lady Liberty.
"Give me your high fructose corn syrup, yearning to breathe free."
"I lift my Big Gulp® by the golden door."
And there is no end to the horror. We don't know who died (Dennis Miller, maybe?) & left Adam Carolla in charge of stuff that FOXNews producers think is of interest to those under 50 (Because youth vote!!) but the ungracefully aging frat boy-type (actually a J.C. drop-out) & foreign affairs expert has managed to out-stupid George W. Bush by coming up w/ an even more ignorant version of "They hate us for our freedom."
They hate our culture. They hate our way of life. They hate the fact that our women’s boobies get bigger, our cars get longer, our swimming pools get deeper and we’re building skyscrapers and bridges.
What's that about skyscrapers? "We" build 'em; all the 'Abs live in tents & mud huts, right? Here's proof. And bridges? Can't even get Carolla's libertarian soul-mates in Congress to appropriate money to repair the old ones.

Delusional fucking idiot. Born in 1963 yet convinced it is always 1953 in an imagined America where the Interstate Highway System will always be under construction, cars (unlike his pin-dick) will grow & grow, adding chrome & tailfins until they can no longer turn in the streets & breast implants are about to be invented.

This should clearly explain why there are few conservatives in Hollywood; the fantasy world they inhabit where Sarah Palin making jokes about her "rack" leads directly to terror attacks is too bizarre & stupid even for Hollywood.


Yastreblyansky said...

Cher Monsieur, I feel I should be credited for the discovery of Townhall's Palin of Liberty, in a post of last March: http://yastreblyansky.blogspot.com/2013/03/cheap-shots-and-hot-falafels.html
Best regards,

M. Bouffant said...

Credit Editor:
Oh, look at that! (March was a long time ago.) Truly there is nothing new on either side of the sun.

We lift our chapeau to you. (And, begrudgingly, Townhall.)

Yastreblyansky said...

Actually Townhall was amazing. They nailed it without ever suspecting that it was funny.

So thanks, U R very kind.

P.S. My captcha says headachy periesca.

Aunt Snow said...

Hope her teef fall out.