Friday, October 29, 2010

Pontiac Follows Olds
To Big Wrecking Yard In Sky

The last new Pontiac for sale on the lot at Lee Pontiac GMC in Fort Walton Beach, Fla., is a 2009 Pontiac Solstice coupe hardtop. Gary McCracken for The New York Times

Pontiac, 84, Dies of Indifference

We don't actually give the proverbial flying fuck at a rolling dough-nut, having never owned a car or been licensed to pollute the air from behind a steering wheel. Perhaps we feel a bit of nostalgia for the sense that life & income would go as GM intended, moving the consuming sheep from Chevrolet to Pontiac to Olds to Buick to Cadillac. (Hey, this could be quite a metaphor for the end of the American middle-class, if we gave a shit about those fucks in the first place. And since the sheep allowed themselves to be screwed into virtual non-existence, when they weren't willingly bending over for it — not unlike Pontiac itself, if The NYT is to be believed — they can all go to hell. )
Pontiac built its last car nearly a year ago, but the official end was set for Oct. 31, when G.M.’s agreements with Pontiac dealers expire.

“They were C.P.R.-ing a corpse for a long time,” said Larry Kummer, a retired graphic artist who has owned more than two dozen Pontiacs and runs the Web site PontiacRegistry.com.
A slideshow, which reminded us that the hateful pigs who held us prisoner for the first 18 yrs. of our existence had a Tempest at one time. The big deal w/ the Tempest was its four-cylinder mill.

While you're at it, List of defunct United States automobile manufacturers

Marking the grave.
As for the fate of the sculpture that was taken down in mid-March?

"It's gone. The piece didn't sell. It was destroyed and sold for scrap," Losh says. "It went the way of the dodo." Just like Pontiac itself.

Irony Defined

PHOTOS: Fire at SE St. Cloud fire station by Jim Maurice, WJON.com

ST. CLOUD -- The St. Cloud fire department battled a fire at one of their own fire halls this (Friday) morning.

It broke out at Station 3, which is by the Talahi school in southeast St. Cloud sometime before 6:00 a.m.

A fire truck was destroyed and there is also some smoke damage to the building.

More details are expected later this morning, but it appears the fire broke out in one of the trucks inside the garage bay.  Crews are making temporary repairs to the roof today, but fire officials say Fire Station 3 could be out of commission for awhile.

St. Cloud Fire Marshall Mike Post is working with the state fire marshall to determine the cause of the blaze and develop a damage estimate.

Post says the fire alarms sounded and all of the firefighters inside the building were able to get out unharmed.
Added bonus: Bullshit defined for you.
This news is protected by Copyright.
© 2010 Townsquare Media, Inc. All rights reserved.
This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
This news is copyrighted? Really? And how did you plan to stop us?

And We Quote:

Do keep trying to present yourself as anything but an upward-failing loser; it's not working.
California cannot afford another six years of Boxer’s ineffective leadership and bitter partisanship, which have resulted in trillions of dollars in wasteful spending and millions of out-of-work Californians.
Fiorina, the "effective" leader who was pushed out screaming from HP after she ran it into the ground.

We're not quite sure what she's "delivered," unless she worked for FedEx or UPS. (Using the five HP corporate jets to ship stuff?) Or delivered lay-offs to HP employees.
As voters continue to be reminded of Boxer’s dismal, long tenure, they will turn instead to Carly Fiorina who has a record of delivering and who will bring to Washington a focus on economic recovery and job creation.
Not partisan, either.Tea Partisan, actually.

Actual Elites

Nothing to see here, please move along or you will be wrestled to the ground & stomped upon by an aging redneck who has to use his foot because his "bad back" won't allow him to bend over to punch your head. Or by actual statist pigspolice officers. Or Joe Miller's active-duty military, moonlighting as SA members, will handcuff you for asking questions.
According to a Roll Call analysis of Senate financial disclosure forms filed in 2010, more than half of the chamber’s membership, 54 lawmakers, reported a minimum net worth of more than $1 million. Another four Senators fell short of that mark by less than $100,000.

In addition, more than half of the Senate’s membership saw their individual fortunes grow in 2009, the period covered by their most recent disclosure reports.
Here in Paradise somewhat lost, we do not put up w/ this shit from corporate drones!
LOS ANGELES — At one point, it appeared that 2010 might be the year of the female Republican chief executive in California. Two of them — Meg Whitman, a candidate for governor, and Carly Fiorina, a candidate for Senate — have presented themselves as credible, competent and wealthy products of the corporate world in a state that, while decidedly Democratic, nonetheless seemed tired of the status quo and hungry for reform.

Better Late Than Never,
BUT NEVER BETTER LATE

That means you, Tweety M.! We had his third item some time ago. Note also that Nut-Meg Whitman is in no way at all horrible, despicable person. And note that The Tweetster left out this line from the transcript we offered: "And biblically, again, I'm gonna go right back to my fundamental Christian beliefs . . ." Why'd you forget that, apologist?

Bottom Tens

Minor Leagues:
Others receiving votes (in alphabetical disorder): Kansas (2-5); Alabama Birmingham (2-5); Tennessee (2-5).
Rout of the weak: Ohio State (7-1) at Minnehaha (1-7).
Crummy game of the weak: New Mexico (0-7) at Colorado State (2-6).
Dumbest quote of the year: Coach Derek Dooley of Tennessee (2-5) compared his team to the German forces during the Allies' D-Day invasion of Normandy: "We're like the Germans in World War II … like, 'Oh my God, the invasion is coming!' "
Majors:
International crummy game of the weak: Denver (2-5) vs. San Francisco (1-6) in London.
U.S. crummy game of the weak: Jacksonville (3-4) at Dallas (1-5).
A helmet-to-head victim? Tampa Bay Coach Raheem Morris said of the Bucs (4-2): "We're the best team in the NFC." (Everyone knows Seattle will be the NFC representative in the Super Bowl — against Kansas City.)
Admitting we are a thief: Copyright © 2010, Los Angeles Times Come get us, Tribune Company!!

I Couldn't Spell Kohoutek

Possibly the oddest musical double bill we've ever seen was Sam The Sham & The Pharaohs & Journey (prior to the revolting Steve Perry, but w/ Aynsley Dunbar on skins & the two guys from Santana) at the Whisky, sometime in 1974.
What isn't on YouTube?

UPDATE (0035 PDT, 25 APRIL 2012): A Journey gig from 1974 to replace the above removed videos.
And from The Pharaohs.

I'll Buy Your Vacuum

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Open Letter To The Humanoids

We've known it since well before we hit puberty, but more proof arrives every day:

It’s the Stupidity, Stupid

Two new academic studies suggest all roads lead to ignorance.

The first, by Harvard’s Michael Norton and Duke’s Dan Ariely, finds that Americans grossly underestimate how much inequality our economy produces.

[,,,]

As Northwestern University’s David Gal and Derek Rucker recently documented in a paper titled “When in Doubt, Shout!” many Americans respond to convention-challenging facts not by re-evaluating their worldview. Shaken by an assault on their assumptions, many become more adamant in defense of wrongheaded ideas.
There is obviously no reason or purpose to the continued existence of people, so please do one of your betters (US!) a favor & vanish from the face of the earth, before our righteous rage gets us off our ass & over to the sarin dispenser.

File this under: Threats, Maybe Not So Idle.

Leave Our Labels Alone

If the fucking piece of shit takes three or four yrs. to load, you can click again & go to a separate page, where you'll see & hear less than a minute of the several mins. this took on the narrowcast. We can't imagine why MICROSOFTNBC would not have adequate bandwidth or whatever it takes, but they don't. Why we only get the last min. is beyond us as well. A stern letter to MSNBC in on the way, you may rest assured.

Leno: It Is To Laugh (Not!)

Enough w/ politics; people who prostitute themselves & their talents or art (You know, whores!) are everywhere. A national example of this (We may be stretching the concept of art when we apply it to Leno, but hey.) is given in Tina Brown's Daily Beast.

No mention in The Beast that the aging squares who might enjoy Jay's mainstream "idiot pandering" comedy stylings probably can't stay awake until 2335 (2235 Central) because their early bird turkey loaf dinner has them keeling over right after Matlock reruns on the Hallmark Movie Channel.

Here's the (lamely obvious) funny:
Now, however, there's fresh blood in the water. The Tonight Show With Jay Leno has lost 21 percent in overall audience compared with 2008, and 25 percent of its viewers aged 18 to 49, according to Nielsen. This comes after the show's ratings hit historic lows last summer. Among 18-to-49 year-olds, advertisers' preferred demographic, Leno is attracting even fewer viewers than O'Brien did during his brief stint as host—those same ratings spelled doom for the Conan Tonight.

Cue the schadenfreude.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" comedian Andy Kindler said in response to news of Leno's ratings. "You reap what you sow."

Kindler, a well-known critic of Leno, is not the only one taking some bitter satisfaction in Leno's latest ratings. Comics on both coasts are quietly taking note that what they suspected all along is finally coming to pass. "Jay wanted The Tonight Show back in the worst way," says comedy writer and standup Dana Gould. "And he got his wish."

[...]

Comedian Patton Oswalt was the first notable comedian to go public with his resentment of Leno back in January, calling the talk-show host "Nixonian" and "passively aggressively mean."

"Comedians that don't like Jay Leno now—and I'm one of them—we're not like, 'Oh, Jay Leno sucks!'" Oswalt said on the Jan. 8 edition of Comedy Death Ray Radio. "It's that we're so hurt and disappointed that one of the best comedians of our generation willfully shut that switch off and was like, 'No more for you guys!'"

Back in the 1980s, Leno was a comic's comic. He was a regular guest on NBC's Late Night With David Letterman, known for having the most cutting one-liners on any news event and for calling out other comedians who pandered to the masses. Then in 1992, he took over The Tonight Show, toned down his material and championed comedians whose acts went counter to his early persona.

"The first person that he got behind on The Tonight Show and made a star was Carrot Top," says Gould. "He immediately went against what he preached to other comedians. It left everybody scratching their heads."
Best bet on network telebision after the late news: The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.
Fergie as Limey Prince Charlie. That's funny.
Hand puppets, too!

Tee Vee (Lying) Eye

aAnd Republican strategist Karen Hanretty can't handle the truth, mostly because she's paid to deny it.Which came first, Hanretty, the delusion or your greed?

And may we add: FUCK THA POLICE W/ A SPLINTERY "BATON," "NIGHTSTICK," OR WHATEVER BULLSHIT EUPHEMISM THE PIGS USE FOR A CLUB!

"Hollywood Star Whackers"

Is Big Hollywood all over this yet? No. Why not?
VANCOUVER, British Columbia (AP) — Actor Randy Quaid says a group of Hollywood bankers, lawyers and executives is out to ruin him as he continues to seek refugee status in Canada following his arrest on U.S. warrants.

Quaid made the comments Thursday after he attended an immigration hearing in Vancouver, British Columbia, to determine if he would be admissible as a refugee in Canada.

Quaid and his wife were arrested in Vancouver last week and jailed on outstanding U.S. warrants related to vandalism charges. The Quaids are wanted in Santa Barbara, California, where they missed a court hearing last week on felony vandalism charges.

Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, appeared at their first immigration hearing last week and requested refugee status based on their belief that they were being persecuted by “Hollywood star whackers” and that their lives were in danger.
Title: Not what you think, sick fucks.

Consumer Round-Up*

To begin, Democrat or Republican, you're a fucking consumer sheep if you have a "favorite brand." A recent survey of the sheep does indicate how brain-dead reactionary ovines are.
According to Advertising Age, YouGov asked people about a bunch of brands' quality, value, their satisfaction with it, their willingness to recommend it and their general impression of it, and they came up with an overall index of favorability.
And then they sorted the answers according to the political party of the respondents. (We did something like that in the 2008 election, when we worked with Zogby to figure out how entertainment preferences correlate with political preferences.)
The number one most favored brand among Democrats appears nowhere among the top ten most favored brands among Republicans. Ditto the reverse: Republicans' favorite brand is nowhere among Democrats' top ten.
If you look at what those two brands are, you can infer a lot about America right now.
Republicans' top brand: Fox News Channel. Democrats: Google.
Fox News: a hermetically sealed bubble of unquestionable absolutes, with sacred sages, approved opinions, official history, bright-line boundaries, party-line facts.
Google: the cacophony of the crowd, the contest of contradictions, the boundless wild west, the jumble of truth and rumor, the burden on its users to sort science from fiction -- with all the anxiety, uncertainty, tentativeness and humility that comes along with that obligation.
On a good day for the network, a couple million or so Americans watch Fox News. On an average day, a couple hundred million or so Americans use Google or some other search engine. It's odd that the media frame the battle lines as Fox vs. MSNBC, when the real fissure may be the one between the zealots and the searchers.
*Fuck yes! Round 'em up, put 'em in a fucking pen, & shear them. Oh, too late, already been done, & many yrs. ago. Baaaaa!

Why?

There was absolutely no fucking reason to wake up or get out of bed today. Yet we did.

File under: Crap we probably should have twitted.

HitlerPope's Brit Blitzkrieg
Screws Local Catholics

Operation Sea Lion II seems to have worked out quite well for someone. But as usual, someone else is left holding the bag. And, presumably, begging for spare change.
Two older queens. Though the one on the left may be a mama grizzly.
The Roman Catholic Church of England and Wales has until April to clear its multi-million pound debt with the government over the papal visit, with officials admitting they are currently unsure how the cost will be met.

The government covered many of the church's contributions towards the four-day trip, which took place last month, and wants the money to be repaid by the end of the financial year.

The church has raised £6.5m but, as the total costs are £10m, it faces a £3.5m shortfall. It is counting on diocesan and individual contributions, in addition to sales of a papal visit prayer book, to settle the account.

A parish collection raised just £1.4m while appeals to the wealthy were more successful, netting around £4m. The previous papal visit, from John Paul II in 1982, left the church £13m in debt as it had to foot the bill entirely for the pastoral tour.
The rich, still trying to buy an indulgence & pass through the eye of a needle.

Plus which: Extending money/credit to a religious organization? Never a good move, especially in the newly-austere Britain.

"What's Wrong W/ These People?"
Ed Schultz Asks

Chris Cillizza is a disingenuous jerk, around (9:00). This isn't right-wing, it's just "passion?" Even Matthews knows better.And Ed is fired up, pig-biting mad (Shit, we're out of bacon ... Uh, where were we?) about chicken-shit Tim Profitt.Nothing from Maddow today; we were watching men who are paid millions of dollars for playing a child's game when her show was on.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Speaking Of Brownshirts ...

Thanks to BJ common tater Todd (In a good item from a new typist there.) for refreshing our memory of this lovely 1938 incident. Note the great big George (Founding Father) Washington overseeing it all. The Tim Profitt-type action starts at (0:22).And dig the description of the libertarian/objectivist paradise that follows.

Sad News, Late

Just grabbed a newspaper from the pile to peruse on the throne. Odd that the 30 July (this yr., at least) section w/ the obits hadn't been sent out the door yet. Even odder (Not going to be that odd in the future. Get used to it.) that we should know one of those obituarized, Irene C. Forrest,
long time gal pal/roommate of a long-time acquaintance. Haven't seen either in some time (They left L.A. yrs. ago, like sensible people, & contact was lost.) our long-time acquaintance wasn't mentioned among the survivors (Romance may have soured, who knows?) but we met Irene several times, & there was nothing not to like about her. Putting up w/ our acquaintance may have gotten her some sainthood points. Belated condolences to all.

Just The Same, Really,
Except When It Isn't

Grasping at straw people.

Confirmation Bias, Or Should That Be Bias Confirmation?

We don't know all that much about stuff, &, like, things, y'know, but we do have a more than passing acquaintance w/ American telebision programming. So, when confronted w/ this inane horseshit from David "Bobo" Brooks (Doubtlesssly filed via WiFi directly from an Applebee®'s salad bar somewhere.) a wk. ago, we were almost inspired to rake Brooks' ignorant ass over the coals, but slothour better nature won.

However, on noticing another smart-ass (w/ a larger soapbox from which to spew) take Brooks' bullshit on, we managed to overcome inertia w/ judicious copying/pasting.
Saying "For most of television history, sitcoms have been about families" is like saying "In modern America, presidents have been Republicans." It's ludicrously wrong, Alessandra Stanley-grade wrong. Does David Brooks even own a TV set? Or does he while away the evenings putting on puppet shows for himself?

You know what would be a good sitcom, to take advantage of this trend? If you did one about a professional pundit, an effete dork who keeps humiliating himself by trying to pass himself off as a man of the people. (Down the hall is a mean Irish lady who talks entirely in dialogue from old movies.) The episode where he goes to Red Lobster would be priceless.
Smart-ass Scocca doesn't manage to link directly to Neal Gabler's inspiration for D.B., so we will. Compare & contrast w/ Bobo.

Does anyone w/ any authority (Or a connection w/ reality?) at The NYT ever read Brooks? We can only assume not, considering that he is still employed there.

And because we can not resist, "Flock you, David Brooks, you incompetent drone."

No-Info Morons

There is no hope.Reëducation camps? Sending people like this back to kindergarten to receive an actual education wouldn't help any. Although there's certainly more at work here than mere sub-human idiocy. There aren't enough shrinks on the planet to help these cretins understand how & why they are so fucking stupid & joyfully ignorant.

UPDATE: Parsing the morons. "Ignorance spreads like a cancer, and right about now, it's making our body politic pretty sick."

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Have You?

Stupid Zombie Bullshit Finally Killed By Sears

YouTube commenter:
George Romero created the zombie genre as a critique on how we've all become mindless, brain dead consumers...the irony of this is too much to bare
Put some damn clothes on it then. (Good point otherwise.)

Night Nurse Cuts Off
Gregory Isaacs' Oxygen

Another "battle" lost: On Monday (October 25), reggae legend Gregory Isaacs passed away at the age of 59 after battling lung cancer.

Bald-head Babylonian mo-fos can catch up on the man's work here. And another classic, live.

On Hiatus

We're hitting the damn sack; when we wake up it will be cool enough to head for a local un-named desert, where we'll recover our large cache of small & medium arms, ammo & things of an even-less legal nature.

Bring it on, manly woman-stomping Rand Paul-shirted stormtroopers. You want it, we got it!

Dumb-ass fuckface Jim Hoft thinks it's hee-larious.
Another day… Another unhinged leftist stalks and tries to harass a Republican leader.

MoveOn.org activist Lauren Valle wasn’t counting on this reaction by Rand Paul supporters.She was tackled and stepped on by Paul supporters. (TPM)

Look for the state-run media to make her into some kind of saint by the end of the day.
First Things first, we say.

Curiosity Solved

We've noted the tilt of downtown Hell-A
We keep forgetting how close we are to Tommy's.
Have to drop by for an artery-clogger soon's that gummint money gits here.
(Expand the map & note the Hoover St. dividing line.)
when mapping expeditions to & from various bank brancheshamburger stands & the like, & now it's explained for us, & for those who don't know or care.

Public Service Announcement

New spew de nous chez Whiskey Fire. If there's anyone who visits here but not there.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Desperately Unorthodox

Compare & contrast: This web log's take on Nut-Meg & her desperation time advert, and the reaction from Tucker's Daily Caller:
Meg Whitman delivers an unorthodox reintroduction of herself to California’s voters in the closing days of the election.

Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2010/10/25/whitman-i-know-you-think-of-this-election-as-an-unhappy-choice/#ixzz13QcZJ0az
NB: Like a large portion of everything The Daily Crawling Terror shoves down America's throat, the above auto-link is a lie: there's nothing more to read at the page linked, & very little else worth consumption at the site.

Though we are amazed at the non-stop rerunning of every AP story about fatal transportation accidents world-wide. Here, here, here, & here.

Democracy Killed By Nation Of Rubes

From Colorado:
As The Denver Post reported back in September, minor party status means that Republicans wouldn't appear at the top of the ballot with the Democrats in 2012 and 2014. Instead, they'll be listed down with the Libertarian, Green Party and other third-party candidates.

[...]

[A] memo written by Arapahoe County Republican Party Chairman Dave Kerber obtained by the Post in early October spells out some serious consequences.
Our state house and senate candidates will similarly be relegated to bottom positions. In 2014, when we have our US Senate, Governor, Attorney General, Treasurer etc races, again, we will be at the bottom of the ballot fighting the libertarians etc for ballot placement. As we all know, being at the top or toward the top can mean several percentage points in the vote, enough in a close race to secure victory.
Our emphasis. Are the voters flipping coins once they get in the booth? See also: South Carolina's Democratic Senate nominee, Alvin Greene.
Indeed, in a three-hour interview, the unemployed military veteran could not name a single specific thing he'd done to campaign. Yet more than 100,000 South Carolinians voted for him on Tuesday, handing him nearly 60 percent of the vote and a resounding victory over Vic Rawl, a former judge who has served four terms in the state legislature.
Proud of yourselves, sheep?It is not possible to despise a group of people more than we despise American citizens. We hold the rest of the species in utter contempt as well (No favorites!) but knowing Yankee morons as we do, we place them at the top of the shit-list.

Hurry Up W/ The Damn Election, Already

We aren't usually subjected to Presidential campaign advertising in the Tarnished State; as crazy & lazy as many of our residents are, they still don't go for the toads the Reactionary Party offers us nationally every four yrs., so there's little point in spending much here. Statewide elections are another story.

Imagine this simpering smile & generally snippy demeanor (approaching the "explaining voice," we dare say) in this close-up, but four times life size, on your telebision. Seemingly at every commercial break.We find this one even more irritating.The primary thrust of our complaint, however, is that the day after the damn election we'll get the money the gummint pays us not to work, in a noble effort to reduce workplace violence. Although were there serious concern over our mental health, they'd get Fiorina off our damn telebision, at least.

We'll grant her campaign one thing: They allow comments on the CarlyforCalifornia YouTube posts, which is more than can be said for Nut-MegWhitman2010. (Or not. Some of the videos seem to be comment-disabled, some don't. Same w/ Babs here. May apply w/ Nut-Meg & Brown too. Whatever.)

FAIRNESS DOCTRINE:Note the "voice" here too.Where's our money, damnit?

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Hallowe'en 1989 Or 1990(?) Part III

Now we are (even more) confused: Another of the performers in this believes it was 1990. At least we have it nailed down to two congruent yrs.UPDATE: Suspicions (pretty much) confirmed, it was 1990.

Bargain-Bin Breakfast W/ Bouffant
& His Cast-Iron Stomach

We're sick of foodies & their crap, which seems to have started as a reaction to the HIV/AIDS plague, way back in the early '80s: No more concern-less sex, so let's focus on an actual human need & screw it up w/ pretension.

We've also about had it w/ our body imposing its sad desires for oxygen, water, food & humping on us, as most of those activities require physical (or worse) effort. And had it w/ people imposing themselves on us w/ questions & the like. Leave us alone, damnit!

And so we respond to the bourgeoisie & their fethishes. Got some used bacon & Cheese Wursts at the local farmer's market (Some guy named Ralphs runs it.) & set to work.
Saved $0.79 on the Cheddar Wursts, & $3.50 on the bacon!
Buns are Ralphs "Value" brand.
You may wish to nuke the bacon longer than the wursts. We did.
Presentation is everything.
The total package. Orangeade was only $0.88.
If you've been put off your feed by this, our job here is done.

Hallowe'en 1989, Part II

The statute of limitations covers all activity seen here. Nyah!!

American Night

S.M. Police Blotter

We have et (one can't really type "eaten") at this very Arby's, & hung about in this neighborhood when using the library, urinating on the Verizon bldg., yada. A mere couple of yrs. from getting plugged ourself. Whew.

Hallowe'en 1989 (We Think) Pt. I

Hands Across The Border

Uh oh, forgot our most "popular" stolen feature this wk. (We've no un-stolen features.)
Wreck (Record); Last Loss; Next Loss
1. Dallas (1-4); 21-24, Minnehaha; N.J. Giants
2. Detroit (1-5); 20-28, N.J. Giants; Disabled List
3. Oakland (2-4); 9-17, San Francisco; Denver
4. Buffalo (0-5); Disabled List; Baltimore
5. Carolina (0-5); Disabled List; San Francisco
6. San Diego (2-4);
7. Cleveland (1-5);
8. San Francisco (1-5);
9. Minnehaha (2-3);
10. Winnipeg* (4-11).
*Canadian Football League, part of Bottom Ten's lousy-teams exchange program.
Winnipeg are the "Blue Bombers." (Is that like an "F-Bomb," but that little bit nicer 'cause they're Canucks?)

Hurting the feelings of college students everywhere:
The University of Akron (no relation to the discount-store chain) originally called its teams the Zippers.

The nickname wasn't meant to be suggestive. It referred to the zipped galoshes made in the Ohio town by the B.F. Goodrich Co.

In 1950, the school changed its nickname to the Zips, which is a perfect fit these days. How many wins does Akron have after seven games? Zero. Zip.

The losingest team in the nation, it obviously belongs at the top of the Bottom Ten. For you positive thinkers, it's ranked No. 206 in Sagarin's top 245 poll.

Wreck, Record; Last Loss; Next Loss

1. Akron (0-7); 10-38, Ohio (Ohio); Western Michigan

2. New Mexico (0-6); Idle*; San Diego State

3. Western Kentucky (0-6); 30-35, Louisiana-Monroe; Louisiana-Lafayette

4. UNLV (1-6); 10-43, Colorado State; Idle

5. North Texas (1-6); 10-34, Florida International; Idle

6. Memphis (1-6); 19-41, Southern Ole Miss; Idle

7. New Mexico State (1-5); 10-33, Fresno State; Idaho

8. Bowling on the Green (1-6); 27-28, Temple; Kent State

9. Florida Atlantic (1-4); Idle; Arkansas State

10. Duke (1-5); 13-28, Miami (Fla.); Virginia Tech

11. (Tie) Florida and Penn State (winless in October); 13. Washington State (1-6); 14. Minnehaha (1-6); 15. Ball State (2-5); 16. Brigham Young (2-5); 17. Wyoming (2-5); 18. Arkansas State (2-5); 19. Studying overseas; 20. Detroit Lions (1-5).

*Though idle, dropped from No. 1 to No. 2 in rankings after completing one pass during a practice drill.

Others (in chronological order): Utah State (2-4).

Crummy game of the weak: Florida Atlantic (1-4) at Arkansas State (2-5).

Rout of the weak: Washington State (1-6) at Stanford (5-1).
Speaking of Akron, their finest, w/ our man Brandon on the skins. (Barely audible or visible.)