The Grift Isn't Always Enough

If Nixon's plumbers breaking into Democratic Party headquarters at the Watergate was a "third-rate burglary," what in hell can we call Congressional office burglaries allegedly committed by someone who worked for Michele Bachmann?

The U.S. Capitol Police (USCP) announced Monday it arrested a legislative director for Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) in connection with a string of burglaries at the Rayburn House Office Building.

Police charged Javier Sanchez, 37, with Theft II.

“Earlier this year the United States Capitol Police was apprised of thefts that occurred in the Rayburn House Office Building,” spokesperson Shennell Antro told The Hill in a statement.

“The USCP conducted an investigation and were able to identify a subject. The investigation resulted in the arrest of 37 year old Javier Sanchez of Virginia. The arrest took place on 7/11/2013. Sanchez has been charged with Theft II.”

Dan Kotman, a spokesman for Bachmman, said in email that "as of 7/12/2013, the person in question is no longer with the office. Any further questions should be directed to Capitol Police."

Bachmann announced earlier this year that she would not seek reelection to Congress in 2014.

Congresswoman Bachmann not having introduced any legislation that's gone anywhere in the six yrs. she's been disgracing the state of Minnesota in the House of Representatives, we wonder why her office even employed a "legislative director." Maybe he turned to crime out of sheer boredom. One day he must've faced the grim truth; he was never going to have legislation to direct anywhere, it would all be "referred to committee," & never be heard of again. An even grimmer thought: This non-record would not look good on the resume. Boredom nothing, he probably figured it'd be a long time between jobs & he'd need some extra cash.

Annals of crime dispatched, it is our firm guesstimate that every time the Congresswoman lies or makes a factually-challenged statement Sweet Baby Jesus kills both a puppy & a kitten.

We'd like Sweet Baby J. to leave the kittens & puppies alone & kill her (W/ votes? Maybe, maybe not.)uh, take poor deluded Michele back to heaven w/ him before wea crazy person somewhere gets so fed up wehe or she takes law & justice into ourhis or her own hands. As she claims the Prez did in 2012. You remember when Obama whipped out his magic wand & gave the vote to all Latinas under 30 or something, last yr. sometime don't you? Representative Bachmann does, from (0:29) to (0:44); you listen & tell us exactly what she says/means.Added surprise (if you've been under your rock all day; this is all from latish yesterday, & even here on the trailing edge of time it's almost tomorrow already): Member of Congress Bachmann didn't develop this theory from scratch.

We do believe her when she says she'd like to get her hands (& ...?) all over the Prez's "magic wand." You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

All kidding & smut aside, when she leaves office, if she isn't institutionalized (as any reputable head-candler would advise) can she be put in an attic (or basement, whatever) room & told not to come out if anyone comes visiting? It's Christian therapy that's worked well for many other crazy aunts & uncles. And it's really as much for her sake as ours. And visitors.

This one is shorter & has some different words, yet wastes (0:20) w/ a title card & a nimrod who is both off-camera & off-mic questioning the crazy woman. Imbeciles, all of them.