Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Thanksgiving Best Wishes To All Humanity W/ A BIG FUCKING STICK!!

Son of a fuck-tuck-tuck-ing bitch will we never learn? Why would we ever ever ever again have entered an American supermarket the evening of their bogus holiday devoted to how grateful they are they can consume more shit faster than most humanoids on the planet thanks to their military machine that keeps the rest of the planet too frightened & subduedbullied to rend them & their ugly stupid children from limb to limb before they & their honkie Euro pals do use up the rest of the planet?

Rending from limb to limb is just what we should have done to the fucking consumer drone who insisted on standing in front of the milk while she went over her fucking Thanksgiving shopping list w/ her daughter AS IF THERE WERE NO ONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD (No one else in the entire fucking world: Our idea of paradise, by the way.) WHO MIGHT JUST FUCKING WANT TO GET INTO THE FUCKING DAIRY CASE.

And the selfish & egotistical always reproduce. Her daughter will doubtless follow mom's example & grow up (sort of) to reach new levels in obnoxious self-centered privilege.

Followed by the woman who (Say ladies, what's your fucking problem anyway? Have the corporate consumption entities of these United Snakes turned all American women into consumption devices, mere tubes through whichom product slides & profit is made? You bet they have, & you didn't put up much of a fight, did you?) came out of the potted plant dep't. (at the exit end of the self-check-out zone) & snagged an empty robot w/o even looking to see if anyone who had waited in line like a fucking sheep himself was headed toward the same recently vacated robo-checker. I.e., she cut in front of us. As we had already been provoked by the awful woman whose shopping list was the only thing in the world we didn't confront this latest affront to social life & common courtesy, fearing complete explosion & meltdown in an unstable gas-filled sector but YOU CANNOT IMAGINE HOW FUCKING TEMPTED WE WERE TO FOLLOW HER TO THE PARKING LOT & USE HER BRAND-NEW POTTED PLANT TO BREAK EVERY FUCKING WINDOW IN HER CAR AS A LESSON IN COMMON COURTESY & SIMPLE HUMAN DECENCY.

These two brain-dead consuming sheep (Is getting your potted plant that much sooner WORTH YOUR LIFE? Maybe you should think for a moment or two about your relationship w/ objects & purchases. It doesn't seem healthy to us, & having been driven mental by a world of consumption & greed, we know.) do have something for which they can be grateful this Thanksgiving: Their karma has yet to catch up w/ them.

In the meantime, we're waiting for the NSA (Bunch of pin-dicked contractors. We're sooooo scared. Neener neener Mr. Desk Jockey Spy-Boy. Few clichés are lamer than the voyeuristic jagoff.) to notice us ranting, raving, threatening & bemoaning lost opportunites. Then we'll see if they try to mess w/ our Second Amendment Right to Stand Our Ground by using our First Amendment Right to threaten anybody or anything w/in an inch of its life. Until then, all you civil libertarians should just clam up. What's the big deal? Has the big mean gov't. stopped you from anything? No, because they know you're a bunch of lily-livered punks who'll never do anything anyway so what fucking difference does it make?

[File this one under YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS AN ARMED SOCIETY IS A POLITE SOCIETY!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY PUNK?]

4 comments:

Weird Dave said...

And you have a nice Thanksgiving too.

M. Bouffant said...

Holiday Fucking Cheer Editor:
I will if assholes & other people stay the fuck out of my way. WHY IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK???

Substance McGravitas said...

Now THAT is not very thankful.

M. Bouffant said...

The Gracious Living Editor bites any hand (or paw) in his proximity, whether it's feeding him or not