Wednesday, November 6, 2013

"Go Play Outside"

Remember when your fucking asshole parents would (against the background of the constant coercion of implied/threatened violence that is childhood in this world of shit & pain) order you to go outside & play?

Guess what? They wanted you to get skin cancer (How many times did they put sunblock on you? Not too many if you're over some age or another we aren't going to research.) or to die from the atmospheric pollution they & their gas-swilling hog-mobiles were more than complicit in causing.

Fuck them. And fuck you losers for taking it from them. (Think how you could have defended yourselves if you'd been armed when you were children. Why should today's generation be prisoners of their parents' sickening desires? Look at the world every fucking generation of parents has left for its spawn. No four-yr. old could do worse.)

GUNS FOR CHILDREN'S SELF-DEFENSE!!

Seriously: Free guns & ammo for everyone under, say, five & a half feet tall, & no guns for anyone over 5'5"? Upshot: No more bullying, & a surge in funeral home employment. Jobs & freedom: Win-win!!

4 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Sounds like somebody needs a cookie.

M. Bouffant said...

Childhood Experiences Editor:
We want a cookie, but we don't need a cookie. (Hell, we could use some meth for rapid weight loss.)

What's funniest is that five hrs. after typing we can't even remember what specific bullshit set us off, not that it takes much to set us off, & not that there aren't about seven billion reasons to be irked.

Weird Dave said...

There is more than enough for what I need.

There is never enough for what I want.

Weird Dave said...

Uh yes, I was high. Why do you ask?