Saturday, November 19, 2011

Crimes Against Humanity

The War Criminal Post has jumped on the Gingrich bandwagon w/ an item that attempts to clarifywhitewashes Divorce #1. The widely used journalistic shorthand that Representative Gingrich "served divorce papers" on his wife the day after an operation is not completely accurate, but he did come to the hospital to discuss the divorce w/ Wife Mk I. Nonetheless:
According to L.H. Carter, his campaign treasurer, Newt said of Battley: “She’s not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer.” He refused to pay alimony or child support.
No mention in The Post, of course, of this fine American's dumping just-diagnosed-w/-multiple-sclerosis Wife Mk II for the hypocritical pseudo-Catholic whore w/ whom he'd been cheating on Wife Mk II.

All of this is so sickening we'd just as soon not continue w/ the list of Gingrich's personal atrocities, but we urge all blatherers not to use the "served divorce papers on his dying wife" phrasing when cutting this awful person down to size, because it's not (exactly) true.

Indeed, it was the first (cradle-robbing*) Mrs. Gingrich who wanted the divorce. Can't imagine why.

*The Post claims the two sickos didn't start "dating" until Gingrich had graduated the high school where his motherfirst wife taught him geometry; other sources claim he was 16. This is something The Post (or, even better, a legitimate news organization) would do well to clear upwhitewash.

UPDATE (1352PST 19 November 2011): From Mediaite, a link to Salon indicating the "dating" was indeed while Gingrich was still in high school. We're waiting, WaPo!

5 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Feel free to use this logo whenever you want to.
~

Anonymous said...

Wife I contracted cancer, so the Newticle divorced her.
Wife II contracted multiple sclerosis, so the Newticle divorced her.
Now Wife III is getting that glassy-eyed wolverine-in-a-trap-about-to-gnaw-its-leg-off look.

Can we be certain which is the cause and which is the effect? Is there any chance that Callista will come down with ... oh, I don’t know ... maybe a flesh-eating yeast infection?

--- Dimitrios Makropoulos

M. Bouffant said...

Thieving Editor:

That did cross our mind. We probably should have credited you for the concept, but we ran out of steam.

That glassy-eyed look may just be a Botox side effect, but we will watch her closely.

Could be an Actual Physical Result to the Body of The (Current) Wife Of Newton Gingrich thing going on, Picture of Dorian Gray-style, in which he is unscathed by whatever evil shit he says & does, & Mrs. G. suffers for it.

Glennis said...

Just the thought of "dating" Newt makes me (and, hopefully, most American female voters) go "ewwwwwwww!"

M. Bouffant said...

Waiting to Watch the Train Wreck Editor:

The thought of Newt, period, makes us go "Urrrrk." And other awful sounds.

The female portion of the hard-core Republican base may be excited by the Tiffany credit line or something 'though.