Attempted Morbidity Report

WAR ON CHRISTMAS BREAKS OUT!!

Update: And the stories are still coming. In Northern California, a man was shot in a Wal-Mart parking lot after refusing to give up his Black Friday bounty to robbers, according to the Associated Press.

He was coming out of a San Leandro Wal-Mart store with his family when two armed robbers demanded they hand over their purchases. When the family refused to do so, a fight ensued and a man was shot. The would-be robbers fled the scene before police arrived; the man is in an area hospital in stable condition. The Wal-Mart store "was briefly closed while police investigated."

Original post Friday Nov. 25 10:06 a.m.: Pepper spray--it's not just for police any more; civilians can use it too!

A woman in Los Angeles exemplified the Black Friday competitive spirit Thursday night by using it against many of her fellow shoppers, in a mad rush at a Los Angeles Wal-mart.

The Los Angeles Times reports that the suspect was trying to get first dibs on electronics that were unveiled late Thursday night (Wal-mart started Black Friday at 10 p.m. Thursday this year).

The woman was attempting “to gain preferred access to a variety of locations in the store,” Los Angeles Fire Captain James Carson told the L.A. Times. “She was competitive shopping.”

20 people, including children, were injured in the incident — some during “rapid crowd movement,” perhaps while trying to get away from the woman. The suspect is still at large. Perhaps the authorities should check Macy’s or Target?

Meanwhile other Black Friday violence broke out in other areas, like a North Carolina shopping center where two suspects fired guns before running into the mall. Thankfully no one was injured in either incident, and, shockingly, the stores involved stayed open!

Like Soviet Russia, the sheep lining up for hrs. & hrs. to consume, & what it was, they didn't even know. But even sheep can be angered. Baaa.