Oh, Look, Fall Is Here!!

Hard to tell here in the no-season capital of the known universe, but the rumor is that the autumnal equinox was today; the days will be growing shorter & the evenings arriving earlier every 24 hours. Seasonal Affective Disorder, here we come... Another sign of fall is pre-season hockey (exhibition) games, especially the ones that pre-empt the usual programming on the commies w/ commercials channel to which we listen regularly. Thus were we led to other spots on the dial this afternoon, while commuting to the public library. And thus did we hear Hugh Hewitt, one of the truly deep thinking members of the brain-dead right. Hugh's approach to the current political/financial situation? Well, seems like John Sidney McCain III, who appeared on the tube today grillin' up some dead animal meat, was presented w/ a "chopper" recently. (The AP story says it was Tuesday, which is tomorrow, unless the virus/bug bite/exploded vein in our leg was more potent than we believe & has caused us to lose a day. We'd like to know why the AP doesn't do a better job time-stamping their stories.) Let's just read the whole thing.

Political Play: McCain gets "American Chopper" 2 hours, 3 minutes ago John McCain picked up a surprise gift Tuesday, an Orange County Chopper motorcycle, courtesy of the stars of the "American Chopper" reality TV series who roared in to present it to the Republican presidential hopeful. Father and son co-stars Paul and Paulie "Junior" Teutul, whose show about building custom bikes together is a popular Learning Channel staple, appeared at McCain's rally in this Philadelphia suburb to honor him with a special bike they'd built to recognize Vietnam-era prisoners of war. McCain, a former Navy pilot, spent five and a half years in a Vietnam prison camp after being shot down in 1967. His running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, introduced the Teutuls and noted that Paul Sr., like McCain, is a Vietnam veteran. The elder Teutul briefly addressed the crowd. "How many people out there love their country and the military?" he asked to loud cheers. McCain clearly was pleased with the gesture. "Sarah and I are going to get on that chopper and ride it straight to Washington!" he said. Staffers to the Arizona senator later said the chopper would remain with the Teutuls and continue to serve as a tribute to all POWs. ___ Compiled by Beth Fouhy.

Empty gesture? Of course: All of human existence is a collection of empty gestures, & stop pretending otherwise. But the extra-emptiness comes from the aforementioned Mr. Hewitt, whose conclusion from this is that he can see John McCain on a "chopper." But he can't see Barack Obama on a "chopper." And therefore McCain has the "chopper vote" locked up. We might wonder about Sen. McCain on a "chopper," as his PW injuries leave him unable to use a fucking Blackberry™©, f'r c'rissakes!! We've seen shots of Sen. Obama on his bicycle, not that much of a stretch to imagine him on a different two-wheeler. The prospect of Mr. Cindy (who, we also heard today, owns 13 cars – two of them "furrin" – in conjunction w/ Mrs. McCain) on a chopper is pretty funny. He can't even lift his arms to ape-hanger level, can he? That's why he deserves to be president, y'know? His poor arms. Mr. Hewitt, after this embarrassment, went on to play a long rant from a conference call held by Steve Schmidt, strategerist for the McCain embarrassment, & Mark Davis, John Sidney's campaign manager. One of those champions of honesty & fair play went on for some time, in response to a question from Massa Hewitt concerning alleged e-mail smears of veep-wanna-be Sarah Palin coming from a firm somehow related to some guy named Axelrod who works for Obama, w/ a load of unsubstantiated smears about this Bill Ayers guy who has actually been in the same bldg. w/ Obama on several occasions. Mr. Ayers, who set off a couple of piffling pipe bombs in Washington D. C. in the late '60s & early '70s, was the guy right behind Osama Bin Laden on the FBI's terror list, according to whichever of these paid liars was earning his money. And since Sen. Obama hasn't marched Ayers into the nearest FBI office for a little enhanced interrogation, even though they seem to live in the same neighborhood, there must be a greater connection between the two of them, & we've got to get to the truth about this. Oddly enough, Catholic cretin/Nixon speechwriter Pat Buchanan stated earlier in the day that Sen. Obama only has to "prove to the American people that he's not a left-wing radical in order to win the election." (Paraphrase.) That's right, just disprove the (sadly) baseless accusations of the right that Sen. Obama is anything more than a centrist, corporate, Democrat In Name Only type. How do they get these people? Pat Buchanan, isn't one of those commandments not to lie? But Mr. Hewittt continued, having on a couple of callers from the heartland who were both the mothers of special needs children & liked playing w/ guns. So, naturally, they both think Gov. Palin is some hot shit. One of them was very proud that she'd kept shooting until she couldn't get her shooting jacket buttoned over her grotesquely distended abdomen, stuffed w/ a four & a half month-developed fetus. She didn't make it entirely clear (nor were we listening that closely to such a mindless stereotype) which child it was, but we can't help but wonder if lead poisoning might have had anything to do w/ baby being a little slow. (Didn't walk until he was ten, she said.) So there's the right wing. Like guns? Have a couple uteri? Offspring not the sharpest knife in the drawer? You're a natural to vote for Sarah Palin. Love your country, its military, & posing atop a "chopper?" Then Big John McCain III is your man. Think that Barack Obama might be a good choice because you've got a touch of the tarbrush yourself? Well, you're some kind of racist hater who's never voted for anyone except on the basis of un-American "identity poolitics." Also from Hewitt's mouth, before we had to change the channel: "All smart-thinking, law-abiding Americans who have concealed carry permits & pack heat will be a lot safer." Keep believing that, Folk. Right until you shoot yourself. Or your mutant offspring finds it & plugs itself or you. Thin the herd. Please. Also in the mere 20 mins. we spent receiving Mr. Hewitt: Team McCain must have talked to the do-nothing Democrats in Congress today, because there was no vote on the bail-out bill. "He wanted people to lose more millions today." Not mentioned was how many trillions the glibertarians in Congress would like to hand over to those already responsible for the financial crisis, w/o the slightest apparent control or oversight.