Psychedelic Cat Party

We wondered when we saw this. We wouldn't feed the wet stuff to a dog, let alone an indoor animal, so we had no idea that what the advertisers claim about "feeding wet" goes on. Our existence has been a protected one.

I asked Friskies marketing director Susan Schlueter to explain. What followed was a fascinating glimpse into the world of feline feeding rituals. (Perhaps you knew this stuff already. As I lack a cat, or any experience tending cats, it was new to me.) Apparently, dry food is left out all day for cats to nosh on. Kitty will take a few desultory nibbles, but then go back to chasing dust motes or clawing at upholstery—leaving the remainder of the desiccated food in the bowl for later. By contrast, wet food is a once- or maybe twice-a-day treat. When that can of wet food peels open, kitty hops up onto the countertop and eagerly slurps until she reaches the final drop of yummy slop.

"Feeding wet," as Schlueter calls it, can for some owners be a highly ritualized and intimate pet interaction. The pop of the can primes kitty for excitement. The scents that escape set feline nostrils aflutter. This is a time for cats and owners to bond over a heap of moist, processed meat. And, according to Schlueter, many owners like to imagine what their cats are feeling and thinking during these moments of culinary ecstasy. This trippy ad, which is for wet food, is meant to capture the altered consciousness of the cat—the sensually heightened bliss it derives from chewing on a pile of damp Friskies.

Of course, not all cat owners are quite so jazzed about spooning out cat food and watching their pets munch on it. Friskies did some proprietary consumer research and found a specific segment of cat fanciers they wanted to home in on. Schlueter says the target is "owners who are very involved with their cats, and have a deep relationship with their cats. These are owners who love to get inside and experience the magical world their cats experience." Thus the lyrics of the ad's jingle promise that Friskies will help you "excit[e] your cat, day and night, with endless enchantment." (At the risk of forcing some cat owners to contemplate uncomfortable notions, I will note that this pitch is not unlike that of spam e-mails guaranteeing the ability to "satisfy your partner like never before.")

You might assume that these extreme cat enthusiasts all fit into the "crazy cat lady" mold. But, in fact, Schlueter claims that what links Friskies' target customers is attitudinal, not demographic. These ads are meant to appeal to cat owners male and female, young and old, hitched and single. Why all these people enjoy the thought of their pets dropping acid, I can't quite say.

It's spot the stupid. We think we win (for being least inane) because little actual work was involved in the little we did. The schmuck at Slate had to at least make a 'phone call & interact w/ another of you.