Sunday, October 4, 2009

CONSUMER WARNING: Bent Over/Doubled Up/I Did The Vom/In A Blind-O's Cup

Seem to have acquired a dose of E. Coli, X-style "Nausea" or something not-good from a load of hamburger purchased at JON'S MARKET RIGHT THERE ON THIRD BETWEEN NORMANDIE & VERMONT!

Local food buyers are warned accordingly. As is JON'S, which may well be consumed in flames as early as tomorrow evening, assuming we can get enough accelerant on our daily trip "outside" to make it worth the effort.

By the way, those disappointed that we've not yet acted on our non-threat to burn FRY's Electronics to the ground
(We were going to make arson threats — we're too cheap, lazy & ignorant for bomb-building — but as our recent encounters w/ probability have indicated, the place would probably burn down as soon as we published our impotent threats, whether from Fry's' incompetence or because another indignant customer has taken justice into his or her hands, & we'd get spotted on the web as suspect numero uno. So please do not take this as even the slightest suggestion that we would dump can after can of gas or another flammable all around the perimeter of Fry's Electronics, casually flick the lit butt of one of our Camel straights into the liquid pooled around the building & run like hell, pausing only to enjoy our handiwork adding light to the already hellish skies of Burbank. Don't even imagine that for one minute, Burbank Arson Squad.)
may rest assured that the only thing holding us back is lack of a co-conspirator to transport us to the wilds of Burbank w/ gas cans. Wimps. Although, in the two birds w/ one stone dep't., we may soon be traveling to Burbank to take advantage of the IKEA wall of replacement parts. Why shouldn't we stop by Fry's about three a.m.?

It's time for consumer revolution in this nation of sheep. It will start w/ the broken window (one window, one stone)  heard round the world that's going to be occurring at JON"S MARKET later tonight, or early tomorrow. Off the pig.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

It was very interesting for me to read this blog. Thanx for it. I like such themes and everything connected to this matter. I definitely want to read a bit more on that blog soon.

M. Bouffant said...

My Ass Editor Types:

Sure you do.