Hello, Moon ... How Are You Moon?

In our continuing fetishization of stuff that happened before we were born (due mostly to our still being amazed that anything at all happened) here's some culture that happened even before we were conceived, from yesterday's birthday boy Will Eisner, Wally Wood & pinko Jules ("A Dance to Spring") Feiffer.

Trick Question?

Which one is more, more, um ... well, not smart, or intelligent, or slyly cunning, but, uh ... Ah! Who is the more trainable of these two?

DING! DING! DING! WINNER!QUITTER!

Bank Of America Branch Taken Over

In Washington, D.C.

National People’s Action, one of the more aggressive progressive advocacy groups, has been deeply involved in street protests against foreclosure fraud and corporate greed. And today, they escalated those actions. 600 activists with NPA took over a DC branch of Bank of America today, handing over a “tax bill” to the large banking institution that they believe has cost states billions through tax avoidance and reckless speculation

All well & good, but we set the BoA bar pretty high in the Golden State.

C'mon, effete Easterners, the gauntlet has been thrown. We're waiting.

The O.C.

Max Blumenthal has more on the Orange County hate squad.

Lugo has put herself forward as the official face of the hate rally, yet she has only been identified in the press as a “protester” or “demonstrator.” In fact, Lugo is a veteran right-wing operative and self-proclaimed constitutional law professor who dazzled the crowd with her knowledge of American’s founding documents: “The Constitution is not supposed to protect a tyranny of the minority,” she exclaimed. ”It is not discrimination to say no when a group is less than one percent of our population.”

According to Lugo, who appears to be obsessed with the Muslim menace, patriotic Americans need to save the culture of Disneyland. As she said, “It is a matter of importance to our culture and society to tell a corporation like Disneyland, ‘We support you in keeping your culture and in not allowing the hijab to be worn as part of an employee’s garb.’”

Despite holding such views and having presided over what basically amounted to a cross burning, Lugo’s bio indicates that she has managed to secure an appointment on the California Civil Rights Commission Advisory Committee, which reports directly to the US Civil Rights Commission. I’m not sure how Lugo’s appointment came about, but perhaps it was inspired by the UN Human Rights Council awarding a seat to Col. Moammar Gaddafi.

And, (59:48) of hate (Ms. Lugo speaks at (9:30):

One Word, Not Two

Over at The Guardian, a snoot w/ a stick in his ass (not, however, Dave Marsh of CREEM fame) moans about typing excess.

Who would have thought the humble old word "before" would become an endangered species? So far as I know, it has never done anyone any harm.

But the craze for writing "ahead of" , to describe any forthcoming event, whether far in the future or imminent, has made coming across "before" in a newspaper about as likely as bumping into a recent recruit to the Nick Clegg fan club. [We imagine that to be hilarious. In Britain. — M.B.]

Here are just a few recent examples:

"Ahead of the Christmas No 1 announcement on Sunday, readers define the perfect seasonal hit."

"Speaking at a press conference ahead of his 80th birthday, Gorbachev criticised Putin for manipulating elections."

"Talking to Simon Rattle ahead of his London residency with the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra ... "

"University candidates are racing to submit their applications ahead of the tripling of tuition fees from autumn 2012."

"Ahead of his heavyweight title fight against Audley Harrison later this month, David Haye has said that he is 'going to be a movie star' … The WBA champion reckons that 'it would be crazy to try to mix the two' ahead of his big fights over the next 12 months."

"The wives and girlfriends … were flown in ahead of the third Test in Perth. Result: a couple of batting collapses."

"Everton's fourth successive win at Eastlands, achieved despite them having Victor Anichebe dismissed on the hour and Tevez handing City a huge fillip ahead of kick-off ... "

"Comolli, who resigned as sporting director at St Etienne ahead of yesterday's announcement ... "

"Instead of offensive claptrap being spouted ahead of David Haye's forthcoming dust-up with Audley Harrison ... "

"He's first and foremost a tough bloke," said Flower ahead of last year's tour of Bangladesh, when Cook stood in for the resting Strauss as captain."

"Ahead of the vote they face this evening, Liberal Democrat MPs will today be reflecting on the less-than-merry dance by which their leaders have come to ask them to walk 'through the fire'." (in a leading article)

"Why else would they hurriedly concoct their own 'Confucius peace prize', a day ahead of the ceremony in Oslo?" (in the second leading article, on the same day)

"That was how I found myself surrounded by the likes of Greg Dyke, Rob Brydon and Badly Drawn Boy at a BFI reception for Springsteen ahead of a screening of his new documentary The Promise."

These examples are all from the Guardian and, I assure you, were not hard to find. But "ahead of" mania has gripped all newspapers and is heard more and more frequently on the BBC and other broadcasters.

I'm all for what has been described as "elegant variation" in writing. I'm not saying that "ahead of" should never be used as a variant of "before" or "in advance of".

But I'd argue that in just about every example listed above, "before" would read better than "ahead of". In some cases, such as the two leading articles, "ahead of" sounds not just cliched and ugly, but plain wrong. It also seems particularly inappropriate for an event, such as the Springsteen reception, that took place immediately - how I shall I put this? - BEFORE the screening.

As for my colleagues in the sports department, they appear to have developed such an aversion to "before" that one can only conclude someone has removed the B and R from their keyboards.

Buzz words and phrases spread very quickly from writer to writer, probably unconsciously. They can fade away as quickly, although some ("iconic") can prove very resilient. So why use two words when one will do? It's time for "before" to make a comeback - before it disappears altogether.

A Powerful Idea

Our currently fondest dream, inspired mere moments ago, is that the very next time thought leaders or business leaders or art leaders or whatever the fuck-tuck-tucking hell they consider themselves gather in some shit-hole like Aspen, Davos or (actual shit-hole) Long Beach to pat themselves on the back for being rich, white & oh-so-clever

Yes, we hope (No praying, 'though.) for these people to die.

that there is a terrorist incident & every last one of these people (& all their toadies & flunkies) dies in the counter-attack by gov't. forces. Or that the auditorium burns to the ground w/o survivors. At the least, someone could shout "Fire!" & hope they panic.

Because these people are not part of any solutions, they are part of the problems, & many of them are directly responsible for the problems.

Pretty Face Hell Bound!

DANGER: Loud as fuck, as it should be.Needs a lover w/ an alibi.

Son Of Basil

And Now For Something ...

We wanted to forget the political world & impending ecological & economic doom for an all too brief moment but realized that this will not be cheering for people stuck in colder climes under gray skies & snow/rain who will now feel worse because they didn't fly down to Rio, losers that they are.Non-Carnaval Mardi Gras Bonus: Queers destroy Sydney.Raw!

Every Cop Is A Criminal

Or, why they call them PIGS!

A Chicago Police commander who was found not guilty last year of misdemeanor telephone harassment is now the focus of an abuse investigation.

A spokesman for the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services confirmed Saturday that the agency is looking into allegations of child abuse involving Harrison District Cmdr. Penelope Trahanas and her teenage daughter.

“DCFS is investigating allegations of abuse in this case,” said DCFS spokesman Jimmie Whitelow. He said the agency had “no prior contacts” with the family.

The Independent Police Review Authority — an outside agency that investigates officer misconduct — has an “open investigation” in connection with Trahanas, a source told the Chicago Sun-Times. The source didn’t have information about the specifics of the investigation.

Last March, Trahanas was charged with harassing Officer Matthew Jackson, a former boyfriend who sought her arrest, claiming that she left voice mails suggesting she could ruin his career and saying she wished he were dead.

At the time, Trahanas’ attorney, Thomas Needham, said the allegations were overblown and that Jackson went too far by getting an order of protection against Trahanas. “Regardless of whatever intemperate, unfortunate things she said in her voice mails to him, there is no need for an order of protection,” Needham said last March.

Trahanas, who was appointed commander of the Harrison District in 2009, was cleared of the misdemeanor charge in June.

Chicago Police spokeswoman Lt. Maureen Biggane said Saturday that Trahanas, “has requested to relinquish her command assignment and return to her rank of captain. She remains in a full duty status.”

Trahanas could not be reached for comment Saturday evening.

Although we've no idea what this fascist is alleged to have done to her daughter, we think a public whipping would be a good place to start the rehabilitation of this brute.

Sorry, Stupid Old Toad

They still let this sad old bastard out of his wife's houses w/o a minder?He couldn't fly planes w/o crashing them, why does anyone still pay attention?

McCain is hardly the expert that political shows should turn to when discussing technology. As former FCC chairman Reed Hundt told Amanda Terkel in 2008, “Basically, John is a technological troglodyte and proud of it.” McCain said during the campaign that he “never felt the particular need to e-mail.” McCain has admitted to being a computer “illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all the assistance I can get.”

New Sun Risin' Up Angry

We're here:

Saudi Arabia's worst nightmare – the arrival of the new Arab awakening of rebellion and insurrection in the kingdom – is now casting its long shadow over the House of Saud. Provoked by the Shia majority uprising in the neighbouring Sunni-dominated island of Bahrain, where protesters are calling for the overthrow of the ruling al-Khalifa family, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia is widely reported to have told the Bahraini authorities that if they do not crush their Shia revolt, his own forces will.

So Friday we see how far all this may go. Can't wait. Off the pig.

Topical teensploitation from Roger Corman, via some teeny-bopper idols.Couldn't ignore this classic of the genre from an MSNBC.com commenter:

We'll keep looking West for him or her.

Weird Vibes, Charlie. Witchy, Even.

Mention has been made of some column or another by bow-tie daddy George Will, apparently establishing/narrowing the Republican entrants (totes wc;wr?) & mentioning lunacy. We haven't even bothered w/ the reactions, but Daniel Larison's response showed up, & we peeped.

Reason one not to read the other G.W.'s stuff:

Let us not mince words. There are at most five plausible Republican presidents on the horizon - Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels, Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, former Utah governor and departing ambassador to China Jon Huntsman, former Massachusetts governor Romney and former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty.

Sad if true. Mush-mouth Barbour? Plausible?

Larison:

As for the 2012 field, Will is engaged in some wishful thinking. He thinks highly of Mitch Daniels, so he includes him as one of the five plausible prospective candidates.

Number two includes jabs at all the loons, not just Will:

Will seems to take it for granted that Huckabee and Gingrich have disqualified themselves by saying false and stupid things. Evidently, Will has not been paying close enough attention to the quality of debate inside the GOP among its would-be leaders, including the “plausible” ones in Romney and Pawlenty. Will underestimates how much the primary candidates are going to have to accommodate themselves to the “vibrations of weirdness.” That doesn’t mean that Huckabee will run, and it doesn’t follow from this that Gingrich will be competitive, but we’re going to see the 2012 field trying to outdo one another in denouncing Obama and all his works with increasingly implausible, far-fetched claims.

Video Bonus: Rachel Maddow won't repeat Will calling Huck a vibrator.In previous book pimping, note that Huck advised people to look at p. 183 of his opus for his take on Kenya or Indonesia or something. But no. A complete fucking grifter. They must teach the grifting right in the Southern Babtiss seminaries.

Asimov Rates For Star Drek

Ninnies too.

Late Election Results

APIA, Samoa (AP) — The party that has ruled Samoa for 28 years has retained power in elections, according to preliminary results, despite criticism over the government’s handling of a deadly tsunami that struck the South Pacific island nation in 2009.

The Human Rights Protection Party of Prime Minister Tuilaepa Sailele Malielegaoi went to Friday’s polls with 30 seats and the support of five independent lawmakers in the 49-seat parliament.

HRPP lost one seat but has the support of an additional two independents, giving Tuilaepa control over 36 seats, a single seat increase, according to preliminary results released Saturday by Samoan Electoral Commissioner Tanuvasa Meleisea Isitolo Lemisio.

The main opposition Tautua Samoa Party increased its representation by two seats, to 13. It had based its election campaign on accusations that the government mismanaged aid following the 2009 tsunami, which killed 183 people, and did not do enough to help victims of the disaster.

It was the first election test for the opposition party, which was formed by 11 independent lawmakers in 2008.

The Electoral Commission said 90 percent of the 76,000 registered voters in the island nation of 192,000 people voted, some lining up for hours before polling stations opened.

The final count may not be completed for two weeks.

Tuilaepa, 60, won his seat unopposed and will continue as prime minister. He would become Samoa’s longest-serving premier, at 18 years, if he holds the job for the entire five-year term.

Tuilaepa’s leadership team will be revamped, with three of his Cabinet ministers losing their seats in the election.©2011 Associated PressUPDATED (1557PST 8 November 2011): Here's one that works.

Awful & Horrid Phrase Of The Week And The Most Horrid Humanoid

In the continuing vein of producerism we encountered this ugliness: "Business Leader." Not enough to be some schmuck w/ an M.B.A. who owns a company where wage-slaves do the work & the boss gets the surplus value. Nope, the boss has to be a fucking führer.

It's been in our face recently because inane droning Philistine David Bobo Brooks used it in his allegedly & apparently abominable new book (No doubt Brooks copped it somewhere, but researching exact origins would no doubt be a depressing affair.) which has been widely eviscerated across the Internet, mostly by P.Z. Myers.

For example, Erica makes a life-defining career decision: She meets a woman who runs a restaurant chain, who is thin and well-dressed in a conservative business suit, and Erica can imagine being like her someday, as Brooks tells us. And then, "Erica was suddenly consumed by a burning desire to be a business leader." What, how? Was it the suit? I don't know. We leapt from a superficial description of the appearance of a visitor to Erica's school to "Something had lit the furnace of the little engine of ambition, which from this day forth would know no rest," and on that train of stock phrases, a personality is fixed and launched unchangingly toward the end of the book.

So being thin, wearing a suit & running a restaurant chain makes one a business leader? A veritable Steve Jobs (Thin, 'though probably wouldn't be caught dead in a suit. But we digress.) except running Applebee's®? What is it w/ Brooks & restaurant chains? See also the gelato ordering in this selection.

Kill us now, please. We never learn. (How many ways can we say there is no hope, & we were fools ever to imagine there had been any?) What did we find when we decided to exercise journalistic responsibility? Someone always in the running for Asshole of Whatever Time Period, Deepak Chopra. (WARNING: Reading this act of corporate slurping may lead to bile being spewed on your devil-box.)

Right now, I’m working Frito Lay, the division of Pepsi. Frito-Lay’s CEO, Al Carey, is extraordinary. He is taking the company to carbon neutral manufacturing. They’ve cut their water consumption by six billion gallons. They are teaching leadership down the chain of the organization. They’re repackaging their foods and making them nutritious. They’re getting involved in health and well being, a goal you would normally not associate with Pepsi. But it’s good business, right now. Not only that: these days, it’s also a great news story. [NB: Business conditions may change at any moment, of course. Heh. — M.B.]

Vishnu on a stick, Deep-Packed, does ol' Al's shit taste like Fritos® or Doritos®? Of course, we can only imagine the kind of scratch Chopra hauls down for one of these suck-fests. Worth it?

And what keen spiritual insights does Dipstick bring to the corporate world? PR. Stories. Image. Mere surfaces. Bullshit.

It helps to regain control of your own story, and to do that, you have to ask two key questions. When I sit down with senior management, I say, “Who are you? What do you want?” Everything starts with those two fundamental questions, and then you move on to: “What’s your story? What’s the story you want to create?”

Who's w/ us on shoving those stupid glasses up Chopra's chute? Only question: Folded, or working them in open?

Crap, so distracted & disgusted by what we found we almost forgot the illustration & inscription.

They said
I had a head
for business.
They said
to get ahead
I had to lose
my head.
They said
be concrete
& I became
concrete.
They said
go, my son,
multiply,
divide, conquer.
I did my best.
— Philip Levine, 1990

And the musical take.

A Dilapidated Suburb

A book about the sign is reviewed.

Braudy explores a time before the sign, and he knows that Hollywood was once a country road trip from downtown Los Angeles. Anita Loos, in 1914, called it “a dilapidated suburb.” She visited the Hollywood Hotel and observed “a veranda where elderly seekers after sunshine … sat in big red chairs and rocked their uneventful lives away.” One of its chief attractions was the peace and quiet, and so we should not forget that Hollywood’s first charm was as a rural retreat, not an urban factory.

That, more or less, was the aim behind the HOLLYWOODLAND development, led by Harry Chandler and others in 1923: well-to-do residences away from the smoke, the noise, the autos (and non-white neighbors), where you could “protect your family and insure their happiness.” So what happened? As Loos said, “Nobody dreamed a day was close at hand when that one word, Hollywood, would express the epitome of glamour, sex, and sin in their most delectable forms.”

If he had any idea what H'wood's like today, sad fuck Chandler would no doubt be spinning in his mausoleum.

The Bankers May Own It, But It's Still A World Of Cretins

More anecdotal evidence of these United States self-retarding:

It is no easy task to try to explain this descent into a culture of ignorance. Some the descent may be rooted in our under-funded and unfairly maligned system of public education. As a professor at a public university I have first hand knowledge of the processes that give rise to a culture of ignorance. Although the intelligence, curiosity and grit of some of my students, many of whom are the first people in their families to attend college, thoroughly inspires me, I am often shocked and disappointed by general student ignorance of culture, geography, history, and politics -- at home and abroad. Even more disturbing is what seems to be a lack of student curiosity about a world that has been rendered more complex through globalization. Many of my students are not interested in learning about foreign societies. They take my introductory cultural anthropology course because it is a requirement. In addition, some of my students seek the most expedient path toward graduation -- one that involves the least amount of work and difficulty for the greatest return. The upshot is that many students leave the university unprepared to compete in the global economy. Many of them have trouble thinking critically. Others find doing any kind of research to be profoundly challenging. Some write essays that border on the incoherent. More troubling still is that that this downward spiral toward incompetence, according to the findings of Richard Arum and Josipa Roksa's new book, Academically Adrift: Limited Learning on College Campuses, seems to be widespread among our college and university students.

Could not happen to a more deserving, stupid or "exceptional" nation.

Saturday Night Embalmed

Meet the living dead.

Seriously, a masterpiece of taxidermy,* 'though the glass (or just glassy) eyes distract a bit.

Just Had to Dep't.: That's his official photo; here it is larger & better defined.

(We resisted the urge to crop it to just his face & fill the column therewith; no complaining about this lesser assault on the sensibilities.)

*Alternate line: "A masterpiece of the mortician's art." Either way.

Stopping Radicalization

From War in Context.

A Little Bogus Nostalgia

We'd probably be just as miz-uh-bull were we now in either of these two cities where we once enjoyed ourself, but maybe we can pretend otherwise for a few moments.Jesus gawd, mute the above: Young folksingy person. (We'll never forgive Bob Dylan.)Dull techno or whatever it's called. At least no whiny-ass vocals.

Worth Stealing

So we did. The Daily Dish's extraction (Credit given, why link?):

In other words, the banks emerged from the crisis bigger, more powerful, and more systemically dangerous than ever before. They are playing by most of the old rules and all of the old norms. We are now left with six gargantuan, interconnected, too-big-to-fail financial institutions that are a threat to our economy and our democracy. Johnson and Kwak (and Stiglitz and Roubini and Mihm) believe they need to be broken up. It seems almost certain this will not happen.

To avoid reeking of sloth, we pulled some startling, dog-bites-man (over & over) news ourself:

We are, Johnson and Kwak argue almost too convincingly, in the hands of an oligarchy that has used its economic power to purchase political influence that, in turn, sustains that economic power. Worse, Wall Street and Washington have become so inbred that ideological homogeneity reinforces and legitimizes an implicitly corrupt system. The crisis and the necessary bailouts presented a rare opportunity to break the iron grip of this financial oligarchy, but we failed to seize this moment.

"Argue almost too convincingly?" What's that mean? Still refusing to face reality?

We'd as soon drown in our own vomit as read the entire review (A review of four books bound to be popular w/ the sort who read these kinds of books shouldn't be too hard. Don't let our lassitude discourage you.) but as we scanned we did spot this, which should probably be shouted from the rooftops & widely repeated on the Internet.

It is now clear that two foundations of anti-Keynesianism—rational expectations and the efficient-markets hypothesis, both of which are embraced by mainstream economics despite the absence of empirical support—are simply wrong.

Neener neener, you idiots.

"... And This Is Just My Own Personal Opinion, Without Any Factual Data To Back It Up ..."

She said it. Admitted speculation, all the time. What's shrink-talk for someone who recognizes she's delusional, but indulges her paranoia anyway? Ah, "money-grubbing liar, making a living scaring others." Thanks. (WARNING: Stupid leftists can't adjust varying volumes. Gets loud at 1:30.)Bonus from mind-reader Gaffney. He knows who wants to be Caliph.J.C at B.J. put it well:

But does it bother anyone else that a former Deputy Defense Secretary is now some crazy dude with a bullhorn and a trenchcoat shouting in the park?

We don't understand why no one has any information on Jones' prison record & how long he's been in the Aryan Brotherhood.Could the ass-wipe whining about "Starbucks®" & "capitalism" please explain what any of that has to do w/ Jesus or Muhammad? Would Mr. Whiney take one of those high-paying Starbucks® jobs, big capitalist that he is?

(Please consult any Arabic dictator or Muslim potentate for their feelings on capitalism. Or have they taken all the petro- & corrupto-dollars from their Swiss accounts & moved their funds to China to invest in the workers paradise?)

Also amusing that the clash of civilizations involves one civilization announcing the excuse for publicity, then not showing up, while maybe 50 or so uncoördinated saps representing the other civilization responded to the provocation. (We will not worry that there'll be fighting in America's streets, Weimar-style, until the pudgy middle-aged women holding signs are replaced by angry young bags of testosterone holding weapons.)

Most amusing though, is that this spectacle distracts us (& millions of others who might actually do something) from the revolutionary acts of resistance that should be taking place now as the American economy (& the hard-won rights of the American people) continues to crumble under the attacks of capitalists who want to return us to a Randian caliphate where the richest pig would be the default lord of the manor.

(Personal note: We are being driven nutty ourself by the inner conflict such self-retards cause: Should we succumb to the perfectly-sensible desire to place that guy's head in a hydraulic press & fucking pulp it, or is pointing & laughing uproariously enough to keep our head from exploding?)

Thunderbolts Caught Easily

Phil sez:

A Failure Agrees

Never took a serious shot at the voice-over biz (Whorin' ain't easy.) & never even thought of doing characters (It's a struggle playing ourself convincingly.) but two thumbs up yours for this from the Guardian:

Johnny Depp's a chameleon and
Justin Timberlake's a bear*

How the best new kids' movies are putting voice actors out of work, and perpetuating Hollywood's star system

Blame is laid, & on someone blameworthy.

And then came Robin Williams. Fox's magical rainforest yarn FernGully, released in April 1992, was somewhat pioneering, utilising the voice work of Williams alongside Tim Curry and Christian Slater, but it fared poorly. The role of the Genie in Disney's Aladdin, however, was written specifically for the star, who then ad-libbed substantially, and the film, released in November the same year, grossed $200m in North America alone. Much of its success was justifiably attributed to Williams. The industry has never looked back.

Parasitic pricks. Where's SAG & AFTRA in all this?

*What?

TheDC Reveals (Heh!) New Strategy

It begins w/ this:

And how else would a FOX station illustrate such a study? (++meta, huh? 'Cause you still get to peep.)Merely the beginning of the campaign, 'though.

Having agreed that Meg Whitman was a whore, we assume what little feminist credibility we had is shot, but if we may, who the hell is Laura Donovan & why is she subjecting her sisters to the male gaze?

Not to mention:

Peepers of the world, unite.

Seriously, Ms. Donovan, if your superior, editor, or whoever is assigning you to search jiggle pictures on the Internet & write dumb posts around them all day, you may have the basis of a hostile workplace suit on your hands. We, of course, are not a lawyer or, technically, anything at all, but we didn't just fall off the proverbial turnip truck either.

Of course, if Ms.Donovan is a Sarah Palin feminist, or such a young & committed ideologue that "pissing off the libs" is all the justification she needs for virtually anything, not to worry, we guess.

And best of luck to Tuck & his exciting new approach to whatever it is he's trying to do. We just want to know if/when there will be nipples.

UPDATE (2155PT 4 March 2011): Not that we were necessarily presenting the heart health item as true, but it isn't:

The article referred to above was not printed in The New England Journal of Medicine or any other major medical journal. It is, in fact, a slight reworking of a piece that has run on at least two occasions in that celebrated tabloid Fountain of Truth, the Weekly World News (13 May 1997 and 21 March 2000) and has escaped into the wild.

Eyes forward!

They Never Learn & It Never Ends Well

We will grant that Texas, like Calif., was at least some form of non-Limey if not completely non-colonial republic before being subsumed by manifest destiny. (Also Hawai'i, though not a republic.)

As with any half-decent declaration of independence, the group's resolution has a list of grievances: Specifically, the federal government has failed the protect its borders, and "implemented thousands of laws, mandates and agencies in violation of the United States Constitution that have invaded the sovereignty of the State of Texas."

But wait: This story actually gets stranger. As the Houston Press reported, the Texas Nationalist Movement's secession rally is being sponsored by none other than state Rep. Leo Berman. You may remember Berman as the man who introduced a bill to force the President of the United States to prove his citizenship (again), and, when asked for proof, cited YouTube videos he'd seen because, "YouTubes are infallible." He's also sponsoring a bill to save state courts from the scourge of Islamic Sharia law.

Previously on Bizarro World:

The standoff was sparked April 27 when police arrested two ROT members--one because he refused to display license plates on his vehicle. McLaren's followers retaliated by taking as hostages two neighbors who had long clamored for the leader's arrest. After the hostage exchange, talks continued but have been unsuccessful, while McLaren's rhetoric has grown increasingly apocalyptic.

Fear of repeating the deadly clash between federal agents and Branch Davidian cult members has deterred police from raiding the compound. Also, police take seriously McLaren's claim that he coordinated with militias throughout Texas, who will react violently in response to a police assault. On Wednesday, April 30, police in Pecos, 80 miles from Ft. Davis, arrested seven men who were carrying explosives and guns and admitted they were headed to join McLaren.

We remember these losers sending "Mayday" on short-wave, as if a few more chump-ass crackerssovereign citizens from Idaho or wherever would make a big difference against the Texas Rangers.

In the end, surrounded by the forces of the mightiest nation on earth, the ambassador decided to abandon his ramshackle redoubt deep in a lower ventricle of Texas. He had sent out a "Mayday" on shortwave radio, calling on "any nation in the world" for assistance. "We have hostiles in the woods," he cried. "We are being invaded!" But no one came to his aid, and his supporters were beginning to trickle away. Even the ambassador's wife had decided to leave the combination lean-to and trailer that was designated the "embassy compound." Thus, shortly after 4 p.m. on Saturday, with barely the pretense of extraterritoriality, Rick McLaren, self-declared "ambassador, consul-general and chief foreign legal officer" of the separatist Republic of Texas, ended his 6 1/2-day standoff against America, laid down 10 rifles and hundreds of rounds of ammunition, and agreed to a cease-fire. In a nod to protocol, the plenipotentiaries who negotiated the agreement--otherwise known as the Texas Rangers--watched as the separatists ceremonially arranged their arms in a circle.

Condemned to repeat the lessons of history? These fucks should all be sentenced to eternal summer school. Preferably in a classroom in a Texas district where budget-cutting austerity has eliminated funds for air conditioning.

Today's Thrilling Activities In The Bunker

Took a shower for the first time since last Fri., hot water (of a sort) having been restored to the premises.

Big plans: Having emptied our mail-box of advertising circulars & taken out some garbage & recycling, we can now sit around in our bathrobe until about dusk tomorrow.

No Longer Worth The Effort

We started, then stopped (WHY DO WE FUCKING BOTHER, EVER?) but being confronted w/ not one but two fuck-ups (as if THEY were trying to up our rage quotient) we felt obligated.

Duhr indeed.

We didn't expect much from AOL.

It's FISTSFUL, handful of cretins!

The banner yet waves.

Fascistinating

Again W/ The Stealing

Danziger forgot something. Not a typo, exactly.

Stupid Kids Have Trivialized Death, Too

Lookin' At The World Through A Windshield Watchin' It Fly By Me On The Right

The Kenyanesian

Sorry Squire, I Scratched The Record

The Fading Sounds of Analog Technology

As digital technology takes over, we're losing the sounds of analog technologies. And sometimes that's a real loss. A dial tone can serve a useful purpose, at least on TV.

Why Newtie Can't Run

[Insert Advert Here]O.V. & other. (Neither embeddable. Assholes.)

Together Or Separately

Jesus! Jesus!

Context: An attention-whore who identifies as Muslim threatened to be near the White House or something today. Self-identified all-American attention-whore Frank Gaffney rose to the occasion & appeared, but the Muslim provocateur didn't. Fortunately, a scapegoat was found, & the "Scared of Shariah For No Apparent Reason" group was able to focus its aggression:Jesus.

Generation Gap Crap From A Cretin

Oh, extra fun, didn't realize it was a yout' hating his betters, i.e., a sap who blames the decline & fall of American Empire & the resultant crummy economy on his parents' generation merely for existing (Blame the "Greatest Generation," who couldn't keep it in their pants.) rather than for its blind acceptance of its own destruction by reactionary forces. Well, no reason to expect the children of idiots to be any wiser than the mutant gene pool from which they sprang.

It may now be starting to change as economic opportunities for those who are freshly out of college and even professional schools are starting to narrow, whereas the bill for half-a-century of profligate living is suddenly coming due.

Also, a free market asshole (What we get for linking to something from The Daily Dish merely because it appeared schadenfreude-filled.):

When jobs were plentiful in the 1990s, it made sense for the cost of college education to rise rapidly. It was, after all, clearly a worthwhile investment. But now jobs are scarce and pay little while tuition and other college costs are still on the rise. It is a dead-end situation both for colleges and for graduates. Even law and medical schools no longer guarantee a well-paying job. Yet, graduating young professionals are now routinely facing debts of $300,000 or more. Even if they find a job, you can’t expect people laden with such debts to be risk-takers.*

No, but we can expect them to be roused against their betterselders.

Generational Conflict

In the United States, rising unemployment among young people hasn’t yet led to an intensified conflict between generations, but it probably will soon. Western Europe, where budget cuts hit Britain, France and Italy and riots protesting those cuts ensued, provides a blueprint for coming strife.

At first glance, it is easy to dismiss such riots as unreasonable demands for more entitlements on the part of people weaned on socialist handouts. But it is worth analyzing the nature of those protests on a deeper level. In Europe, as in the United States, students are facing a very grim future with no job openings and few opportunities to advance. They see a generation of baby boomers — their parents’ generation — who enjoyed free education, secure, well-paying jobs and steady careers, and who are now preparing to retire at age 60 to full pensions and medical benefits. The new generation will be asked to pay for all those benefits out of their meager salaries while at the same time they are being told that the baby boomers have eaten the entire pie and that they will have to pay more for their education, work harder for less money and retire at a later age — because there is no money left in the till for them.

It may be different in Europe, but anger against high-living oldsters will likely well up on this side of the Atlantic as well. Social Security and Medicare are bankrupting the state while those who are now working to support such open-ended programs are warned not to count on them when they reach the age of retirement. Recent graduates probably would have gladly supported the retirees if they had a good job and a bright future, but not when they themselves are struggling to keep their heads above water.

Say, remind us where all that fucking money went, shithead. Foolish as that statement is, note the context in which it occurs:

Only after reforms in the mid-1980s, the Reagan-Thatcher years, did recent graduates — the Baby Bust generation — begin to see a much freer, more entrepreneurial environment, with better job prospects and greater economic opportunities.

Big economic analyst just can't quite make the connection. We can't imagine why.

*A risk for you, Mr. Gutsy Free-Market Risk-Taker (Alexei Bayer is head of KAFAN FX Information Services. His monthly “Global Economy” column in Research has received an excellence award from the New York State Society of Certified Public Accountants for the past six years, 2004-2009. He previously worked for the Economist Intelligence Unit and Standard & Poor's.): A long walk off a short dock.

The Angriest Honky In The World

Not to compare Moveon.org or any other leftish outfits w/ crazy Nazi skinheads (Indeed, what "leftie" equivalent is there to white supremacists?) but we can't remember the last time Code Pink members had a shoot-out.

Not Hateful Or Anything, Just Stupid & Crazy

Burger Wrapper

Living off the land in California.

We Started Typing Something, But ...

Great Mid-Western Hardware Store

Shut up, old man.

Huckabee Paints Obama as a Foreigner

Mike Huckabee insists he misspoke when he said President Obama was raised in Kenya, but his comments today in a radio interview with Bryan Fischer make clear he intends to portray the president as a foreigner.

Said Huckabee: "And I have said many times, publicly, that I do think he has a different worldview and I think it is, in part, molded out of a very different experience. Most of us grew up going to Boy Scout meetings and, you know, our communities were filled with Rotary Clubs, not madrassas."

Boy Scout meetings? Well, sure, most of "us" are male, aren't we?

Joan Walsh w/ the Tweety vid of her appearance we'd ordinarily have posted.

Keeping it on subject (us): Most of our existence has been passed in the land of our birth (California, bit-chezz!) but it doesn't take leaving the U.S. of A. to hate it. We couldn't stand the place long before we went overseas.

Al Gore Nothing

Newt Gingrich demands equal time: OK, Mike Huckabee is a fat pig too, & when he & his family are at the same location the FAA issues an advisory warning of potential gravitational threats to general & commercial aviation.

Then, Xmas 2007:

And today, hot from the presses:

He's now withdrawn the statement that Obama grew up in Kenya and says he meant Indonesia.

[...]

Well, how do you get a view of the Mau Mau revolution in Indonesia? So I don't buy the mis-spoke explanation. And Obama did not "grow up with" a Kenyan father and grandfather. Seriously, how can you have any understanding of Obama without knowing he yearned for his absent father and was brought up largely by his white mom and white grandparents?

And to type that Huck &/or his staff were as stupid as pigs would be insulting even the slowest of porkers.Plus ça change ...

MOMENTS LATER: Just looked at memeorandum. Why'd we even bother?

Watch Out, Current Mrs. Gingrich!

Newtie's probably going to find his next wife somewhere on the campaign trail among the gaggle of female aides w/ the father issues that make so many political marriages possible. Sound familiar, Callista?

Then he'll need a magnifying glass to find his pin-dick.

We'd love to see Kenyan anti-colonialist & incumbent Obama kick converted Catholic hypocrite Gingrich's electoral ass from one end of this great nation to the other.

Then we'd like to see Newton run over by a steamroller. (Not really steam-powered any more, are they?) The most likely scenario, however, would be for the serial adulterer & his fellow useless loser Fred Thompson to get an AM radio show going where they talk about boner pills & whose trophy wife is the youngest, over & over until they die. (Fuck, that's the best idea we've had in a mo. of Sundays. "Newt & Fred's Boner-Pill Time." It's pre-sold! Better call the agent.)

Speaking Of Housing: We Exercise Our Memory

Trailerload of old peopleBoomers waxing nostalgic for their youth & the good economic times at B-Juice. Housing inflation being one of the reasons today's homeowners cite for their being worse off than their parents w/ their cushy union jobs, one of them investigated on a personal basis using the magic of the Internet.

We were curious too (as well as desperate for something more interesting to run than the usual dick-wagging at reactionaries wagging their pin-dicks) so we peeped at a couple of places from the long gone days when we lived in houses, rather than apartments or tar-paper shacks behind someone's garage.

The first house in which we remember living stood on this alleged acre lot.

The thing there now was built in 2000, no idea if a dot-com zillionaire had previously razed the ancestral manse or not. No, there was no pool when we were there. Our damn house wasn't much larger than the pool (& in about the same spot). And no, we will never forgive our parents for (among other crimes) not holding onto the place until they could leave it to us to sell to some Silicon Valley digital fool for a large wad of green.

First & only new house we ever occupied.

1966. No idea what the units paid for it. Lot: 8,555 sq. ft.; house: 1,850. (Don't know if that includes the garage, which is about half of the upper "wing.") At least it hasn't been demolished.

Excessive Gov't. Regulation!!

Sunday:

Today:

No expectation that it would only be the "couple of hours," but two days & a warning?

Note: Comparisons to people on mythical islands w/o electricity or even shelter will not be accepted. Really, who is suffering here?

Plus which, we worked (11 yrs., three floors underground) for the Fascist Insect Bank in the same building the Housing Dep't. is now in. The world collapses around us.

A Silly Goose

Echo Park's most famous goose is at the Los Angeles Zoo. She's not visiting the new elephant enclosures. She's in protective custody, for the time being at least. Not only was there concern among Maria's human supporters that the big bird was increasingly vulnerable to prankster humans as her fame grew, but last week, for the first time, Maria flew out of the fenced yard where Parks and Rec workers routinely detained her when Dominic, Maria's best buddy, left the park on his motor scooter. While Dominic often encouraged the goose to fly alongside his scooter for two blocks from Lemoyne to Echo Park Ave. -- and then back -- were she to follow him farther she'd be in considerable danger from cars and buses.Flight sequence at (1:35). Late goose news.