Thursday, July 21, 2022

High On Her Own Supply Of Vaporware

You Don't Want to Know What It Smells Like

Gwyneth "GOOP" Paltrow explains her business model:
"... we’re able to create product out of thin air that we believe in so much.”
You'll never go broke, yada ...
Her infamous jade yoni eggs—sold for $66 and were meant to be inserted into the vagina for whatever reason—came with warnings from the medical community and got our Gwynedd fined $145,000.

More recently, as seen on The Kardashians, Paltrow collaborated with Kourtney Kardashian on a candle called “Smells Like My Pooshie.” Part of that is in reference to Kardashian’s own wellness line, Poosh. Because, synergy?

In related fare, 2020 saw Goop release a $75 candle called “This Smells Like My Vagina.” And while we’re still on the subject, there’s no telling how many housewives bought Goop’s 24k Olga Gold Dildo for $3,490. Though it’s a small price to pay if you’re down with creepy Hollywood orgasm cults.

Other objets Paltrow has peddled to the public include a toothpaste squeezer, vampire repellent spray, and a $73 wooden spoon.

Someone should shove one of those jade eggs down her throat for a few minutes.

1 comment:

Ebon Krieg said...

We need to eat the rich right now before they do more of this shit.
Bring out the guillotines and the tumblers.
History and science are not an option with rethugs and fundies.
They believe they will write their own history and ignore the past and science.
I am sickened by all of these rethugs and fundies; our progeny are screwed if US don't cleanse the planet of this filth.
Fuck, US are so Fucked by these fuckity fucks!