Redefining Shallowness

The Constitution as totem:

That includes canceling all but one inaugural ball; mandating that White House employees have a copy of the Constitution at hand; and convening a summit of all of America’s closest allies along with the opposition leaders from each.

From Herman Cain's campaign book (there's not even the pretense of it being a coincidental biography) This Is Herman Cain! My Journey To The White House, which one of Tina Brown's typists read to save the rest of us the bother.

The Cain Doctrine

The book’s 10th chapter is devoted to what Cain insists on calling “The Cain Doctrine,” although it’s really more a platform (memo to the Hermanator: if you can’t sum it up in a sentence or two, it’s probably not a doctrine). It is infuriatingly vague. Cain’s plan for immigration: “Secure our borders.” His plan for entitlements: “We can, and must, take this entitlement society to an empowerment society.” He says he’d replace “Obamacare” with “Caincare,” which he says would involve “formulating a compassionate approach to providing the best diagnosis, treatment, and follow-up care for Americans of all ages.”* Would he cut costs somehow? Expand coverage? No one knows! The problem isn’t that Cain doesn’t have a detailed prescription for health reform, it’s that he doesn’t even seem to know what his objective is. And keep in mind—domestic policy is supposed to be his forte. The foreign policy section is even rougher. Cain bashes President Obama’s treatment of Israel, but doesn’t explain why he feels Israel is crucial to U.S. national security or proffer a plan for peace with the Palestinians. As for the rest of the world, forget it—all he tells us is that his Afghanistan “plan would be to figure out: Can we win, or not?” Perhaps Cain should have considered following the very public debate on that matter over the last three years. And Latin America, Asia, Europe, Russia, Africa might as well not exist. An appendix adds a tiny bit of detail, but the book leaves the overwhelming impression that Cain doesn’t have any real sense of what policies he’d back as president.

Extra-wacky beliefs:

There’s an entire chapter devoted to numerology—it turns out Cain’s lucky digit is 45.

Why, he's another Reagan! Another Nancy Reagan. What's his stand on the White House china?

---

*Single payer? Medicare for all ages? Sounds good to us, Cain.