Seven Ways To Blow Shit Up Real Good

As a middle-aged American male, the editorial staff enjoys things that explode. (Maybe it's the nihilist in us; home-schooling didn't socialize us very well.) Not people, things. Not even things w/ people in them. 

But this. We didn't know the Soviet Union had "detonated more than 120 nukes to aid civilian aims." Crap. And we certainly never knew that the United Snakes had actually put Project Plowshare into action.Pesky ol' public opinion may have prevented more of this:

Beginning in the mid-1960s, scientists used targeted nuclear explosions to stimulate natural gas production by fracturing the rocks in which the gas was locked to make them more permeable. It worked well enough to warrant progressively larger tryouts. In 1967 Time described the first demonstration, Project Gasbuggy in New Mexico, like this:

On a butte above New Mexico's Leandro Canyon last week, chilled observers fell silent as a voice on the public-address system reached the end of the countdown. For a tense moment, nothing happened. Then the earth jolted underfoot and a dull, distant boom was heard, followed by a second, more gentle, rolling shock. Someone shouted: "We did it! We did it!" Hand shakes were exchanged all around. The U.S. had successfully set off the first nuclear explosion sponsored jointly by the Government and industry.

The natural gas work culminated in 1973 with the explosion of three 33-kiloton bombs thousands of feet underground in Rio Blanco, Colorado. The key problem was that the gas this produced had measurable amounts of radioactivity. Not surprisingly, that created political problems for the method, even though the scientists involved in the experiments claimed the radiation would not be detrimental to public health.

but if a fairly well-informed explosion fan was unaware we were nuking ourselves for the profits of the oil & gas industry (What more can they want from us?) it's hard to imagine the booboisie getting huffy. This is the first thing in close to twenty yrs. we've discovered (on a more than personal level, & we'll certainly spare you that crap) that's stopped us in our keystrokes for a good 45 seconds. Certainly the most pointedly amazing factoid we've seen on the Internet. (Hey, whatever. Maybe we did know but forgot about it. It's been a while. It's not as if the stupid "liberal" media have been on it like wrinkles on a cheap suit beyond TIME®'s bit in 1967.) We may just be amazed that we neither knew of nor remembered Project Gasbuggy & al.; the devotion to BO (Big Oil, that is. Texas tea.) that elements of the gov't. display is shocking, but shouldn't be surprising any longer.  As long as you duck & cover, everything will be alright.

Symptoms Of The Conservative Crack-Up Were On Full Display After President Obama's Trip Abroad. Bill Kristol, Take A Bow.

By Juan Cole Professor Cole wraps up the amazement of wing-nuts when foreign policy is performed. They can barely recognize it when it's right before their eyes, so their attempts to analyze its practice & use are not unlike a monkey trying to read People®.  Read more, or don't.

"O. K., Houston, We've Had A Problem Here" ... A Negro Won The Oscar

By The Associated Press; 1 hr 34 mins ago Today is Monday, April 13, the 103rd day of 2009. There are 262 days left in the year. AP's different version. And A/V. UPI Almanac. Today's Highlight in History: On April 13, 1743, the third president of the United States, Thomas Jefferson, was born in Shadwell, Va. On this date: In 1598, King Henry IV of France endorsed the Edict of Nantes, which granted rights to the Protestant Huguenots. (The edict was abrogated in 1685 by King Louis XIV, who declared France entirely Catholic again.) In 1742, Handel's "Messiah" was first performed publicly in Dublin, Ireland. In 1870, the Metropolitan Museum of Art was incorporated in New York. (The original museum opened in 1872.) One hundred years ago, in 1909, author Eudora Welty was born in Jackson, Miss. In 1943, President Franklin D. Roosevelt dedicated the Jefferson Memorial.In 1958, American pianist Van Cliburn, 23, won the first International Tchaikovsky Competition in Moscow. In 1964, Sidney Poitier became the first black performer in a leading role to win an Academy Award, for "Lilies of the Field." [45 yrs. later, we have one for a president. Are you happy, Academy? — Ed.] In 1970, Apollo 13, four-fifths of the way to the moon, was crippled when a tank containing liquid oxygen burst. (The astronauts managed to return safely.) Astronaut Jack Swigert tells Mission Control "we've had a problem". In 1986, Pope John Paul II visited the Great Synagogue of Rome in the first recorded papal visit of its kind to a Jewish house of worship. In 1992, the Great Chicago Flood took place as the city's century-old tunnel system and adjacent basements filled with water from the Chicago River. Ten years ago: Right-to-die advocate Dr. Jack Kevorkian was sentenced in Pontiac, Mich., to 10 to 25 years in prison for second-degree murder in the lethal injection of a Lou Gehrig's disease patient. (Kevorkian ended up serving eight years.) Five years ago: Conceding a couple of "tough weeks in Iraq," President George W. Bush signaled he was ready to put more American troops on the front lines and use decisive force if necessary to restore order despite "gut-wrenching" televised images of fallen Americans. Barry Bonds hit his 661st homer, passing Willie Mays to take sole possession of third place on baseball's career list. Swimmer Michael Phelps won the 2003 Sullivan Award as the nation's top amateur athlete. One year ago: World Bank President Robert Zoellick urged immediate action to deal with mounting food prices that had caused hunger and deadly violence in several countries. Trevor Immelman won the Masters, becoming the first South African to wear a green jacket in 30 years. A construction worker's bid to curse the New York Yankees by planting a Boston Red Sox jersey in their new stadium was foiled when the home team removed the offending shirt from its burial spot. Physicist John A. Wheeler, who coined the term "black holes," died in Hightstown, N.J., at age 96. Today's Birthdays: Movie director Stanley Donen is 85. Former Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell, R-Colo., is 76. Actor Lyle Waggoner is 74. Actor Edward Fox is 72. Playwright Lanford Wilson is 72. Actor Paul Sorvino is 70. Movie and TV composer Bill Conti is 67. Rock musician Jack Casady is 65. Actor Tony Dow is 64.Singer Al Green is 63. Actor Ron Perlman is 59. Actor William Sadler is 59. Singer Peabo Bryson is 58. "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" bandleader/rock musician Max Weinberg is 58. Bluegrass singer-musician Sam Bush is 57. Rock musician Jimmy Destri is 55. Singer-musician Louis Johnson (The Brothers Johnson) is 54. Comedian Gary Kroeger is 52. Actress Saundra Santiago is 52. Rock musician Joey Mazzola (Sponge) is 48. Chess grandmaster Garry Kasparov is 46. Actress Page Hannah is 45. Actress-comedian Caroline Rhea is 45. Rock musician Lisa Umbarger is 44. Rock musician Marc Ford is 43. Reggae singer Capleton is 42. Actor Ricky Schroder is 39. Rock singer Aaron Lewis (Staind) is 37. Actor Bokeem Woodbine is 36. Singer Lou Bega is 34. Actor-producer Glenn Howerton is 33. Basketball player Baron Davis is 30. Today In Entertainment History -- On April 13th, 1958, Van Cliburn became the first American to win the Tchaikovsky International Piano Contest in Moscow. In 1964, the movie "Tom Jones" won the best picture and best director Academy Awards. Sidney Poitier became the first black performer in a leading role to win an Oscar for his work in the movie "Lilies of the Field."In 1965, the Song of the Year Grammy Award went to "Hello, Dolly." The Beatles captured the best new artist award and won the best group performance award for "A Hard Day's Night." In 1967, The Rolling Stones played their first concert behind the Iron Curtain, in Warsaw, Poland. Riot police had to step in to deal with 2,000 people who weren't able to get tickets. In 1971, The Rolling Stones released "Brown Sugar," the first record on their own label, Rolling Stone Records. Thirty years ago, in 1979, singer David Lee Roth of Van Halen collapsed onstage in Spokane, Washington, due to exhaustion. [Or too much Spokane. — Ed.] Twenty years ago, in 1989, entertainer Jack Jones received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He's probably best known for singing the "Love Boat" theme. In 2000, Metallica sued the online song-swapping service Napster for copyright infringement.  Thought for Today: "The excursion is the same when you go looking for your sorrow as when you go looking for your joy." — Eudora Welty, American author (1909-2001). [Either way, the excursion ends in Hell. — Ed.] Copyright © 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reversed. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reversed.

Please Kill Yourself, We Need Space & Oxygen. Some Say It's An Ethical, If Not Moral, Action.

Having flirted w/ the ideas of both suicide (preferably yours) & murder (our murder of you — a collective, statistical you, by the way, totally impersonal — after which we may check ourself out) we found this to be fascinating:(Yglesias is proving to be an excellent source for the theft of intellectual property, if nothing else.)

This one has a few more countiesnations heard from,& the difference in colors & percentiles makes for an even more graphic (in every sense) depiction (or deception). 

What really caught our limited attention span, other than the opportunity to engage in threatening typing, was which nations collect/report such stats. Whatever the sources for these images, sub-Saharan Afrika, the Mohammedan crescent, & (It's not "Outer" any more, is it?) Mongolia either don't count or don't tell. In some regions we'll bet it's like Iranian president Ahmadinejad stating there were no homosexuals in Iran. No suicides here in gawd's paradise on earth. Or North Korea or Bolivia(?). 

We were a bit startled by New Zealand being in the red zone, but on reflection it must be similar to Scandinavia. (Perpetual autumn, rather than perpetual snowy winter, but it hardly ever snows in Seattle, which is reputed to have a high count. Few breakdowns by city/county easily locatable. Who cares, anyway? Is this peer-reviewed science here?) Also, sheep can be very depressing. 

Or is it island life? Note also Cuba, Ireland, & Sri Lanka. Red states all.

Thanks, You Big Ho

Today is her birthday.An obsessed perv at Big Ho wrote a sad fantasy about her (whence the photo) & in comments we were treated to this:

Look at her face. Closely. She's the most asymmetrical female I can think of. If you measure her eyes on a horizontal plane, there must be about an inch of difference between them. Never thought she was attractive in the least.

Followed by:

I have a friend who in the early '90's was enjoying accomodations [sic] provided to him by the NY State Dept. of Corrcections [sic]. In these venues the guests watch communal TV and closely scrutinize female performers. When he made an approved early departure he needed a verifiable address to re-locate to while making his transition back into polite society, so he stayed with me. And he made the exact observation to me when SD came onscreen. He said "you'll never be able to look at her again w/o seeing that". And he was right. Jailhouse wisdom, go figure.

So, click the photo to examine closely Ms. Doherty's asymmetry. (It doesn't bother us. Adds a bit of character, if you ask. We aren't looksists!)

Tip o' the Bouffant chapeau to Righteous Bubba, who claims to have read the whole post by Big Ho's Eric Golub. Not humanly possible, we say. We hope Bubba didn't type anything on the subject. Let's check. Nope, but plenty other good stuff.

On A More Personal Note

We have just discovered microwaved bacon, & we are so in love we want to marry it.

No Shit (Triumphalist Edition)

The absurdity/idiocy/sheer ridiculousness of the usual white middle class teabaggers bemoaning "Taxation W/o Representation" has seemed so transparent that we haven't bothered to mention it (and as always, why bother?) but Think Progress's Matt Yglesias sums it up, & has (Ta da!) facts & figures, which is more than we usually produce, so we'll copy it just for you. Matty doesn't need clicks, does he?

Very curious account of a Nebraska Tea Party:

Hundreds of Nebraskans chanted no taxation without representation in protest of increased government spending spawned by the stimulus bill at the state capitol Saturday

The tea party style protest is intended to mimic Revolutionary War era protests where citizens believed they were being unfairly taxed.

Here in Washington DC, your humble blogger and about 600,000 other people are living and paying taxes to a United States government that does not allow us to elect representatives to congress. Whether you think that’s fair or not, what we’re doing is paying taxes without representation. The 1.8 million Nebraskans are very much represented in congress. There’s Rep. Jeff Fortenberry, Rep. Lee Terry, and Rep. Adrian M. Smith in the House of Representatives along with Senators Ben Nelson and Mike Johanns. Indeed, with a mere 0.6 percent of the nation’s population, Nebraska gets to elect fully 2 percent of the Senators. If anything, Nebraskans have taxation with over representation.

Here's the big secret, suburban scumbags: You get to vote. You get to petition your representative (or spam her to death w/ your pre-written e-mails) whether or not your candidate won. But if your opinions & ideologies are those of a pathetic, marginalized minority that's regularly trounced at the polls, you just don't get quite as much "representation" as you think you deserve. Democracy, it's called. We know you don't really favor it, so shut up about it. No more entitlements, as you like to say. (Or used to.)

P. S.: Stop whining that "half of America voted for McCain." They didn't. You lost. Get over it.

P. P. S: Nyah nyah nyah!!

Osama Bin Dobson, Supreme Jesus Ruler Of The American Taliban, Admits Defeat, Sort Of

The wretched old bastard, after spending so much money on Focus on the Fambly's anti-Calif. Prop. Eight campaign of fear & loathing that he had to fire a couple hundred of his wage-slaves (That "preseves the dignity of the family," doesn't it? Gaahh!!!) is admitting defeat in the "culture wars" (it was the rise of the Internet & the election of Bill Clinton that ruined everything) but at the same time girds his loins for further (non-human?) battle, because This Great Nation of Ours™ is 

... awash in evil and the battle is still to be waged. We are right now in the most discouraging period of that long conflict. Humanly speaking, we can say we have lost all those battles.

Ha fucking ha. "Humanly speaking." And just where is bin Dobson's gawd, then? Has the Hebrew's War God deserted Jimmy-boy in his hour of need? (Not that he looks as if he "needs" much help. Not exactly starving, is he?) Where is that chicken-shit gawd that subjects us to inhuman scum like bin Dobson, yet doesn't back him or his campaigns to terrorize this most perfect & gawd inspired nation? We'd guess The Big Fucking Killer In The Sky is scared to show his face around here, considering how his advance men have royally fucked up the message.Nonetheless, don't think these one-track (on which two trains, the Dogma Express & the Factual Flyer, are speeding toward each other at over 100 m. p. h.) mind obsessives have given up. Whatever (mental problems, brain injuries, childhood trauma or psychological who-knows-what) has led these people to be one step above foaming-at-the-mouth street-corner preachers (It's marketing & manipulation that keeps the marks in the money. The street-corner guy just hasn't mastered that yet.) is not about to be healed by objective facts. We suppose the next tornado will be proof of gawd's righteous anger. 

Through The Pillars Of Hercules

Something as horrific as the V. D. Hanson item down below is visible at what many of the cleverer web logs of the left refer to as America's Shittiest Website™. (And who are we to disagree?) Imagine this:One would hate to see outbreaks of piracy in the Mediterranean in the near future. Let alone an outbreak of Etruscan jokes. NR's cruise to nowhere is an at-least-annual event. Refresh your memory, or enjoy for the first time. (Where we cleverly hoped for a large Al-Qaida submarine. Now, though, we hope for piracy on the high seas. There's little new, is there? Although we might wonder how the economic mess has affected the frivolous wealthy - let alone the obsessed/stalking scrimped-for-steerage-passage groupie - who attend this sort of thing, & what that will do to this June's turn-out.) This not Alaska or the Caribbean though. Are the brave cruisers going to the Med just to show Muhammad what for? Certainly the motley crew of conserva-celebs aboard must know they're going in harm's way, judging from the amount of fear they monger. Achille Lauro, anyone?

Find Your Own Pictures Of The Zombie Jesus, Slackers. Also: Day Of the Bitter Clingers

By The Associated Press 7 mins ago Today is Easter Sunday, April 12, the 102nd day of 2009. There are 263 days left in the year.

AP Easterfest, & A/V. UPI Almanac. Today's Highlight in History: On April 12, 1861, the American Civil War began as Confederate forces bombarded Fort Sumter in South Carolina.On this date: In 1606, England's King James I decreed the design of the original Union Flag, which combined the flags of England and Scotland. In 1877, the catcher's mask was first used in a baseball game, by James Tyng of Harvard in a game against the Lynn Live Oaks. In 1908, fire devastated the city of Chelsea, Mass. In 1934, "Tender Is the Night" by F. Scott Fitzgerald was first published in book form by Charles Scribner's Sons after being serialized in Scribner's Magazine. In 1945, President Franklin D. Roosevelt died of a cerebral hemorrhage in Warm Springs, Ga., at age 63; he was succeeded by Vice President Harry S. Truman. In 1955, the Salk vaccine against polio was declared safe and effective. In 1961, Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became the first man to fly in space, orbiting the earth once before making a safe landing. In 1981, the space shuttle Columbia blasted off from Cape Canaveral, Fla., on its first test flight. In 1983, Chicagoans went to the polls to elect Harold Washington the city's first black mayor. In 1989, former boxing champion Sugar Ray Robinson died in Culver City, Calif., at age 67; radical activist Abbie Hoffman was found dead at his home in New Hope, Pa., at age 52. Ten years ago: U.S. District Judge Susan Webber Wright cited President Bill Clinton for contempt of court, concluding that the president had lied about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky in a deposition in the Paula Jones case. A jury in Little Rock, Ark., acquitted Susan McDougal of obstructing Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's Whitewater inquiry and deadlocked on two other charges, causing a mistrial. Five years ago: A federal judge allowed a nationwide ban on dietary supplements containing ephedra to take effect, turning aside a plea from two manufacturers. Abelardo Flores and Fatima Holloway pleaded guilty in Houston to taking part in a smuggling scheme that resulted in the deaths of 19 illegal immigrants abandoned in a sweltering truck trailer. Barry Bonds hit his 660th home run to tie godfather Willie Mays for third on baseball's career list. One year ago: Democrat Barack Obama conceded that comments he'd made privately during a fundraiser about bitter working class voters who "cling to guns or religion" were ill chosen. Boston College won the NCAA hockey championship, 4-1, over Notre Dame. The United States won its second women's world hockey championship, upsetting Canada 4-3 in Harbin, China. Today's Birthdays: Country singer Ned Miller is 84. Actress Jane Withers is 83. Opera singer Montserrat Caballe is 76. Actor Charles Napier is 73. Jazz musician Herbie Hancock is 69. Actor Frank Bank ("Leave It to Beaver") is 67. Rock singer John Kay (Steppenwolf) is 65. Actor Ed O'Neill is 63. Author Tom Clancy is 62. Actor Dan Lauria is 62. Talk show host David Letterman is 62. Author Scott Turow is 60. Singer David Cassidy is 59. Actor-playwright Tom Noonan is 58. Rhythm-and-blues singer JD Nicholas (The Commodores) is 57. Singer Pat Travers is 55. Actor Andy Garcia is 53. Movie director Walter Salles is 53. Country singer Vince Gill is 52. Actress Suzzanne (cq) Douglas is 52. Rock musician Will Sergeant (Echo & the Bunnymen) is 51. Rock singer Art Alexakis (Everclear) is 47. Country singer Deryl Dodd is 45. Folk-pop singer Amy Ray (Indigo Girls) is 45. Actress Alicia Coppola is 41. Rock singer Nicholas Hexum (311) is 39. Actor Nicholas Brendon is 38. Actress Shannen Doherty is 38. Actress Marley Shelton is 35. Actress Jordana Spiro is 32. Rock musician Guy Berryman (Coldplay) is 31. Actress Claire Danes is 30. Actress Jennifer Morrison is 30. Today In Entertainment History April 12 -- On April 12th, 1954, Bill Haley and His Comets recorded "Rock Around The Clock" for Decca Records. It's considered the first rock and roll song to top the charts. In 1966, Jan Berry of the duo Jan and Dean crashed his Corvette into a parked truck in Los Angeles. He suffered extensive brain damage and paralysis and needed several years of rehabilitation. In 1979, Mickey Thomas became the lead singer of Jefferson Starship. [Oh, that's worth commemorating! — Ed.] In 1989, Herbert Mills of The Mills Brothers died in Las Vegas at age 77. The group was probably best known for the song "Paper Doll." In 1992, the Euro Disneyland theme park opened in France. In 1993, actress Lisa Bonet filed for divorce from singer Lenny Kravitz. In 1997, The Fugees played the first of two homecoming concerts in Haiti to raise money for Haitian refugees. The concerts ended up costing more money than they raised.

Thought for Today: "Rules are not necessarily sacred, principles are." — President Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945). [Nothing is sacred. — Ed.] Copyright ©2009 The Associated Press. All rights reversed. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Copyright ©2009 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reversed.

"The old unpredictability, military preparedness, and deterrence"

We were led to these thoughts (but they could not make us think) by The New Republic, who quoted the third paragraph w/o comment. It's easily the silliest, but we found paragraph 2), in which gentleman farmer V. D. Hanson recaps some historical pirates & how they've been dealt with, the most interesting.As so often, Mr. (Is he a professor of some sort? We just can't remember.) Davis' command of history, such as it is, stops a few hundred yrs. short of the present day*, as does his National Darwinist (we just invented that, clever, huh?)  foreign policy. So we can hardly blame him if he forgets that in more recent history "disproportionate measures" have often been favorites of the Nazis, to name one group.

Of course, "lethal air assaults" are so much easier than lining up a bunch of French civilians & killing ten or twenty for each Nazi occupier killed by partisans. Modern warfare really is neat, isn't it, Vic?

And paragraph 4) deserves full reproduction:

4) The Obamists better be careful in their serial apologetics, "Bush did it" throat-clearing, and caving to European, Russia, Turkish, etc. agendas. Slowly, but clearly we are establishing a new atmosphere in which the old unpredictability, military preparedness, and deterrence will be lost, replaced by a touchy-feely sort of seminar discussion, laced with atonement, reaction. And then the two-bit pirates who boast "We are not afraid of the Americans" will be the least of our problems.

Be careful Obamists! Victor Davis Hanson has warned you. Get back to that "old unpredictability." AmeriKKKa can be safe only if the rest of the world, which for some reason doesn't like us as much as it used to, can never tell just who or where will be lethally air assaulted next.

*What do you think V. D.'s opinion of that "Enlightenment" thing a few hundred yrs. back is?

Emptiness Somewhat Filled

Few phrases are sweeter to the lazy but compelled web log proprietor's eye than "Log entries will be light for some time to come." (Often a relief for readers as well.)Today's excuse is that every material object (they fill the bed of a medium-sized pick-up truck) left in the possession of this typist has been been humped from a friend's black widow-infested garage (No web thanks to her, as she claims never to read this or anyone else's typing, so why bother?) & piled on the pseudo-gentrified 70 yr.-old darkly stained hardwood floor. (Have we mentioned that before? We're trying to look at the positive aspects of existing where POW! POW! POW! POW! POW! — five rounds, or could've been M-80s or Seal Testers, we weren't about to investigate — went off in what sounded like the lobby — mere feet away, could have been in the street — of our our new digs about 0340 today.) 

Meaning nostalgia sorting through the crap, & killing any potential spiders. Could be a while. We're obsessively precise, if "precise" means slow. Mix w/ this dial-up business (not exactly whipping the muse into whipping us into a frenzy, if you follow) long unheard music, & the glass teat itselfto while away the agony of existence, & there's little likelihood of reading anything new or interesting from here (Don't say it!) for a while, barring of course "live-blogging" any typical SoCal natural disaster as long as the battery on the presses here holds out.

On the third-world attaché case as we type: The Best of Sonny Rollins The Blue Note Years. Extra special thanks to long-time friend/creative associate Mr. Peabody for invaluable material assistance in humping garbage bags full of T-shirts & the like. (Including renting that medium-sized pick-up & driving it to hell & back, Audie Murphy-stylee, mon!) Big ups, as the kewl colored kidz say!

Stripped Down, Who Cares (Seriously, Why The Hell Bother?) Version Of History

Today is Saturday, April 11, the 101st day of 2009. There are 264 days left in the year. Today's Highlight in History: On April 11, 1970, Apollo 13 blasted off on its ill-fated mission to the moon. (The astronauts managed to return safely). On this date: In 1689, William III and Mary II were crowned as joint sovereigns of Britain. In 1814, Napoleon Bonaparte abdicated as Emperor of the French and was banished to the island of Elba. In 1898, as tensions with Spain continued to rise, President William McKinley asked Congress to authorize military intervention in Cuba. In 1899, the treaty ending the Spanish-American War was declared in effect. [Guess we showed them. America rules!! — Ed.] In 1945, during World War II, American soldiers liberated the notorious Nazi concentration camp in Buchenwald, Germany. In 1951, President Harry S. Truman relieved Gen. Douglas MacArthur of his command in the Far East. [That means Korea. — Ed.] In 1979, Idi Amin was deposed as president of Uganda as rebels and exiles backed by Tanzanian forces seized control. In 1988, the hijackers of a Kuwait Airways jetliner killed a second hostage, dumping his body onto the ground in Larnaca, Cyprus. In 1989, Mexican officials began unearthing the remains of victims of a drug-trafficking cult near Matamoros; one of the dead was University of Texas student Mark Kilroy, who had disappeared while on spring break. (Several cult members were later convicted of premeditated murder and sentenced to 50 years in prison.) In 2001, ending a tense 11-day standoff, China agreed to free the 24 crew members of an American spy plane. Ten years ago: The Justice Department reported that more than a third of the women in state prisons and jails said they were physically or sexually abused as children. Jose Maria Olazabal won the Masters by two shots over Davis Love III. Five years ago: President George W. Bush defended his response to a briefing memo from August 2001 about possible terrorist plots against the United States, saying he was "satisfied that some of the matters were being looked into" and that there were no specific threats against New York and Washington. Pope John Paul II celebrated Easter Mass with calls for world leaders to resolve conflicts in Iraq, the Holy Land and Africa. Phil Mickelson's agonizing pursuit of a major ended at the Masters when he made an 18-foot birdie putt on the final hole. One year ago: Group of Seven financial officials meeting in Washington pledged to strengthen their regulation of banks and other financial institutions while anxiously hoping the credit crisis in the United States would be a short one. French troops captured six pirates after the pirates released 30 hostages who were aboard the French luxury yacht Le Ponant when it was seized off Somalia's coast. [Plus ça change, baby. — Ed.] Today's Birthdays: Former New York State Gov. Hugh Carey is 90. Ethel Kennedy is 81. Actor Johnny Sheffield is 78. Actor Joel Grey is 77. Actress Louise Lasser is 70. Syndicated columnist Ellen Goodman is 68. Movie writer-director John Milius is 65. Actor Peter Riegert is 62. Actor Meshach Taylor is 62. Movie director Carl Franklin is 60. Actor Bill Irwin is 59. Country singer-songwriter Jim Lauderdale is 52. Songwriter-producer Daryl Simmons is 52. Rock musician Nigel Pulsford is 48. Actor Lucky Vanous is 48. Country singer Steve Azar is 45. Singer Lisa Stansfield is 43. Rock musician Dylan Keefe (Marcy Playground) is 39. Actor Johnny Messner is 39. Actor Vicellous Shannon is 38. Rapper David Banner is 35. Actress Tricia Helfer is 35. Rock musician Chris Gaylor (The All-American Rejects) is 30. Singer Joss Stone is 22. On April eleventh, 1958, Jerry Lee Lewis' first wife, Jane Mitcham, filed for divorce. Lewis had already secretly married his 13-year-old cousin, Myra Gale Brown. [Go cat go! — Ed.] In 1961, Bob Dylan made his first professional appearance at a club in New York's Greenwich Village. In 1965, The Beatles and The Rolling Stones shared the bill at the "New Musical Express" poll winners' contest in London. In 1970, Paul McCartney announced what he called a temporary break from The Beatles. Peter Green of Fleetwood Mac announced he was leaving the band to follow his religious beliefs. [Mr. Green, unlike Mr. McCartney, actually has musical talent. But he's totally fucking nuts. — Ed.] In 1981, guitarist Eddie Van Halen and actress Valerie Bertinelli got married. They separated in 2002 and divorced in 2007. In 1983, "Gandhi" was the big winner at the Academy Awards, taking best picture and director. "Up Where We Belong" from the movie "An Officer and a Gentleman" won the best song award. In 1988, "The Last Emperor" was named best picture at the Academy Awards. Cher won a best actress award for "Moonstruck." Thought for Today: "We think in generalities, but we live in detail." — Alfred North Whitehead, British philosopher (1861-1947).

Five Minutes Is Nothing On The Internet. Nothing, Y'Hear?

Here's your choice, intertubal weenies. Short & sweet (that would be us, two items down) or some guy who sees the same clip & spews as if there's no tomorrow. Also, there's advertising there. Your choice is clear. Wise up before it's too late.      P. S.: OK, so he did post his item five minutes before we did (the blog being on elitist East Coast time). Whatever.

Annals Of Consumption

RNC chair Steele cracks up, because "the malls are still packed." The facts as to what's being spent in said malls:

Gallup found that last month consumer spending among all Americans reached a 15-month low and is 27 percent lower than last year’s figures.

Additionally, Reuters reported yesterday that vacancies at regional and strip malls are soaring to record highs

[...] CALLER: The malls are just as packed. … You still can’t get a seat in a restaurant.

We've no idea which part of This Great Nation Of Ours™ CALLER is from (We'd like to know, so we can avoid his hotbed of consumption.) but we can tell you that across Los Angeles, from downtown to the very edge of the continent, restaurant proprietors are practically on the sidewalk waving at your car to get you into their establishments.

Let's play the race card here, as Think Progress didn't get around to it. (Someone has to do it. Why is it always left to us, though?) Mr. Steele is certainly not an affirmative action hire, because that would be an insult to all the white guysqualified applicants/candidates who merited the job, per approved Republican ideology. He must, therefore, be a token hire/election. And hasn't exactly seized the opportunity. 

Also: Mandatory reference to former President George W.(orst) Bush advising us all to go out & shop, as usual, after the "horrible tragedy" of who cares when. Will this ever stop? Are you all mere consuming/producing tubes, to squeeze out some crap that's sold back to us to shove in the other end, to produce/extrude more, & then to ... Of course you are. Suckahs!

"Marketing Got Us Into This Mess, Marketing Will Get Us Out Of This Mess"

Glad we got that straightened out. The real fun starts about two minutes in. Our friends on the right are returning to their John Birch Society roots: "Commies!!! EVERYWHERE!!!" Brought to our attention by Chuckles Johnson at Tiny Green Shitballs. (Cheap shot? Yeah. Chuckie may be starting to come down from his post-11 September 2001 fear jag. Just a few yrs. later than anyone w/ a functioning mind, is all.)

Totally Beyond Caring About Anything Or Anyone, Let Alone The Insignificant Events Of 10 April Throughout "Human" History

Today is Good Friday, [How is this any different than any other Friday? Isn't Friday "good" by definition? — Ed.] April 10, the 100th day of 2009. There are 265 days left in the year. [Can you believe that we've suffered 100 days of this yr. already? And we're still less than a third of the way through?— Ed.] AP's Different World. A/V. UPI Almanac. Today's Highlight in History: On April 10, 1912, the RMS Titanic set sail from Southampton, England, on its ill-fated maiden voyage. On this date: In 1790, President George Washington signed into law the first United States Patent Act. In 1866, the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals was incorporated. In 1925, the novel "The Great Gatsby," by F. Scott Fitzgerald, was first published. In 1932, German president Paul Von Hindenburg was re-elected in a runoff, with Adolf Hitler coming in second. In 1947, Brooklyn Dodgers president Branch Rickey announced he had purchased the contract of Jackie Robinson from the Montreal Royals, paving the way for Robinson to become the first black player in the major leagues.In 1957, Egypt reopened the Suez Canal to all shipping traffic. (The canal had been closed due to wreckage resulting from the Suez Crisis.) In 1959, the future emperor of Japan, Crown Prince Akihito, married a commoner, Michiko Shoda. In 1963, the nuclear-powered submarine USS Thresher sank during deep-diving tests off Cape Cod, Mass., in a disaster that claimed 129 lives. In 1972, the United States and the Soviet Union joined some 70 nations in signing an agreement banning biological warfare. In 1978, Arkady Shevchenko, a high-ranking Soviet citizen employed by the United Nations, sought political asylum in the United States. In 1998, the Northern Ireland peace talks concluded as negotiators reached a landmark settlement to end 30 years of bitter rivalries and bloody attacks. Ten years ago: Bad weather hampered NATO's bombing campaign against Yugoslavia, but the allies warned Slobodan Milosevic the lull wouldn't last. The Pentagon, meanwhile, announced that 82 U.S. planes would join the force conducting airstrikes over Yugoslavia. The Miami Heat humiliated the Chicago Bulls, 82-49, holding the Bulls to the lowest point total since the introduction of the shot clock. Five years ago: The White House declassified and released a document sent to President George W. Bush before the Sept. 11 attacks which cited recent intelligence of a possible al-Qaida plot to strike inside the United States. One year ago: The U.S. Board on Geographic Names officially renamed Squaw Peak in Phoenix Piestewa Peak, in honor of Army Spc. Lori Piestewa, who was killed in Iraq in 2003. Marine Cpl. Cesar Laurean, suspected of killing a pregnant colleague, was arrested in Tacambaro, Mexico; Laurean is charged with murder in the death of Marine Lance Cpl. Maria Lauterbach in North Carolina, but is fighting extradition to the U.S. Today's Birthdays: Actor Harry Morgan is 94. Actor Max von Sydow is 80. Actress Liz Sheridan is 80. Actor Omar Sharif is 77. Sportscaster John Madden is 73. Rhythm-and-blues singer Bobbie Smith (The Spinners) is 73. Sportscaster Don Meredith is 71. Reggae artist Bunny Wailer is 62. [Né Neville O'Riley Livingston. — Ed.]Actor Steven Seagal is 58. Folk-pop singer Terre Roche (The Roches) is 56. Actor Peter MacNicol is 55. Rock musician Steven Gustafson (10,000 Maniacs) is 52. Singer-producer Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds is 51. Rock singer-musician Brian Setzer is 50. Rapper Afrika Bambaataa is 49. Rock singer Katrina Leskanich is 49. Actor Jeb Adams is 48. Olympic gold medal speedskater Cathy Turner is 47. Rock musician Tim "Herb" Alexander is 44. Actor-comedian Orlando Jones is 41. Rock musician Mike Mushok (Staind) is 40.  On April tenth, 1925, the novel "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald was first published by Scribner's of New York. In 1953, the first feature-length 3D horror movie in color, "House of Wax," premiered in New York. Vincent Price starred. In 1956, singer Nat "King" Cole was beaten up by a group of racial segregationists in Birmingham, Alabama. In 1957, Ricky Nelson sang for the first time on "The Adventures of Ozzy and Harriet." He performed "I'm Walkin'." In 1962, former Beatles member Stu Sutcliffe died of a brain hemorrhage in Hamburg, Germany. He was 22. In 1967, "A Man for All Seasons" won most of the major awards at the Oscars. Elizabeth Taylor won the best actress award for "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" In 1968, "In The Heat Of The Night" was named best picture at the Academy Awards. Drummer Mickey Hart joined the Grateful Dead. In 1972, "The French Connection" won the best picture and best director at the Academy Awards. Gene Hackman was named best actor for his role in that film. The best original song award went to the "Theme From 'Shaft."' In 1989, Alabama was named artist of the decade by the Academy of Country Music. In 1991, Natalie Schafer, the actress who played Mrs. Howell on "Gilligan's Island," died of cancer. She was 90. In 1992, comedian Sam Kinison was killed when a pickup truck hit his car on a California highway. The 17-year-old driver was arrested. In 1994, Charles Kuralt hosted his last episode of "Sunday Morning" on CBS. Charles Osgood was his replacement. In 2001, rapper Eminem was given two years probation on a weapons charge. He was arrested the previous June for allegedly using a gun to hit a man kissing his wife. Kevin Olmstead of Ann Arbor, Michigan, won $2,180,000 on "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire." It's the largest prize ever given out on a TV game show. Thought for Today: "All fantasy should have a solid base in reality." — Max Beerbohm, English critic and essayist (1872-1956). Copyright © 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.

Lying Sack Of Shit Caught Lying. Surprised?

Isn't lying one of those Ten Commandments? Oh, no, it's NOT lying! Our mistake. Pardon us. But will gawd pardon Rick (Porkulus) Warren? See the facts/truth (on video) here.

"Shoulda Hung All Them Rebs Right Then, Right There."

Today is Thursday, April 9, the 99th day of 2009. There are 266 days left in the year.
AP. A/V. UPI Almanac.
Today's Highlight in History:
Fifty years ago, in 1959, NASA announced the selection of America's first seven astronauts: Scott Carpenter, Gordon Cooper, John Glenn, Gus Grissom, Wally Schirra, Alan Shepard and Donald Slayton.
On this date:
In 1682, French explorer Robert de La Salle claimed the Mississippi River Basin for France.
In 1865, Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee surrendered his army to Union Gen. Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox Court House in Virginia.
In 1939, singer Marian Anderson performed a concert at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington after she was denied the use of Constitution Hall by the Daughters of the American Revolution.
In 1940, Germany invaded Denmark and Norway.
In 1942, American and Philippine defenders on Bataan capitulated to Japanese forces; the surrender was followed by the notorious Bataan Death March which claimed thousands of lives.In 1947, a series of tornadoes in Texas, Oklahoma and Kansas claimed 181 lives.
In 1959, American architect Frank Lloyd Wright died in Phoenix at age 91.
In 1965, the newly built Astrodome in Houston featured its first baseball game, an exhibition between the Astros and the New York Yankees. (The Astros won, 2-1, in 12 innings.)
In 1983, the Space Shuttle Challenger ended its first mission with a safe landing at Edwards Air Force Base in California.
In 1988, pro-Iranian Shiite Muslim hijackers who had seized a Kuwait Airways jetliner on April 5 killed one of their hostages as the plane sat on the ground in Larnaca, Cyprus.
Ten years ago: Niger's president, Ibrahim Bare Mainassara, was gunned down by members of his own Presidential Guard.
Five years ago: Four employees of Halliburton subsidiary KBR were killed in an attack on a fuel truck convoy near Baghdad; a U.S. soldier in the convoy, Sgt. Elmer Krause, was found dead weeks later. Four people went missing, including Army Specialist Keith M. Maupin, whose remains were found in 2008. The body of civilian truck driver Wiliam Bradley was found in January 2005; Thomas Hamill escaped his captors in May 2004; Timothy Bell remains unaccounted for.
One year ago: America's war commander in Iraq faced Congress for a second day; Army Gen. David Petraeus told lawmakers he was unlikely to endorse any fresh buildup of troops even if security in the country deteriorated. The Olympic torch was rerouted away from thousands of demonstrators and spectators who had crowded San Francisco's waterfront to witness the flame's symbolic journey to the Beijing Games during its only North American stop.
Today's Birthdays: Jazz musician Art Van Damme is 89. Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner is 83. Naturalist Jim Fowler is 77. Actor Jean-Paul Belmondo is 76. Actress Michael Learned is 70. Country singer Margo Smith is 67. Country singer Hal Ketchum is 56. Actor Dennis Quaid is 55. Humorist Jimmy Tingle is 54. Golfer Severiano Ballesteros is 52. Country musician Dave Innis (Restless Heart) is 50. Actress-sports reporter Lisa Guerrero is 45. Actor Mark Pellegrino is 44. Actress-model Paulina Porizkova is 44. Actress Cynthia Nixon is 43. Rock singer Kevin Martin (Candlebox) is 40. Rock singer Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance) is 32. Actress Keshia Knight Pulliam is 30. Football player Jeff Reed is 30. Rock musician Albert Hammond Jr. (The Strokes) is 29. Actor Ryan Northcott is 29. Actor Jay Baruchel is 27. Actor-singer Jesse McCartney is 22. Rhythm-and-blues singer Jazmine Sullivan is 22.
On April ninth, 1939, singer Marian Anderson performed a concert at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington after she was denied use of Constitution Hall by the Daughters of the American Revolution.
In 1962, "West Side Story" won the Academy Award for best picture.
In 1976, folk singer and songwriter Phil Ochs hanged himself at his sister's home in New York. He was 35.
In 1979, "The Deer Hunter" won the best picture and best director Oscars. "Last Dance," from the soundtrack to the movie "Thank God It's Friday," won the best original song award.
In 1984, "Terms of Endearment" was the big winner at the Academy Awards. "Flashdance" was named best original song.
In 1988, the music world lost two singers. Brook Benton ("Frankie and Johnny," "The Boll Weevil Song") died of an illness in New York. Dave Prater from the duo Sam and Dave died in a car accident in Georgia.
In 1992, Amy Grant was honored with the Artist of the Year award at the Gospel Music Association's Dove Awards.
In 1997, Soundgarden announced its breakup. [No one cared, then or now. — Ed.]
Thought for Today: "Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose the former and have seen no reason to change." — Frank Lloyd Wright, American architect (1867-1959).
Copyright ©2009 The Associated Press. All rights reversed. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.
Copyright ©2009 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.

Carry On Keep Watching The Skies

ATTACKERMAN (né Spencer Ackerman) in all the hoopla following SecDef Gates's announcement of the new D&D [sic] budget, discovers a Heritage Foundation fright-site that we (a little self-tooting of the horn here) noted over two mos. ago.

The sooner individuals like Clifford D. May stop confusing the actual defense of the nation w/ huge profits for their paymasters, the publicly held defensewar industry corporations that pay the Heritage Foundation, et al., to shill for them, the sooner we'll be well-defended. The financial & economic situation might improve a bit as well.

We also suspect it would be healthful for Mr. May & his ilk to get out of mom's basement or corporate daddy's think-tank cubicle, get some sun, & try to produce or create something of value, rather than continually recycling Reagan/John Birch Society concepts from their hyper-active keyboards. As the Heritage Foundation so often suggests in its "Markets rule, Commies drool!" economic advice to the nation, we need more producers & less moochers & losers. Get to work, boys!!

P. S.: Just re-viewed the video at ShieldAmerica.org (Had to wait many minutes for a one min. telebision advert to load. Oh, dial-up, where is thy sting?) which implies that just one (Need we add, imaginary?) Iranian nuke, launched from a freighter off our shores, would then explode over the exact center of the lower 48 & suddenly: No Food, No Water!! We're not saying that an EMP of some type wouldn't eff up computerized distribution systems, but as long as the Bush Admin. isn't running FEMA, we probably still have a chance. 

The larger question raised is if the war biz, or a corporate entity thereof, has an actual (no doubt hare-brained) scheme to stop this "next terrorist atrocity," or if it's a total boondoggle they want to start from the ground up w/ "research funding," which will, all "concerned" in this hope, be appropriated in the wake of this war-mongering by keyboard.

Eat The Rich, Then Deal W/ It!!

Fans of the paranoid style, or bitter libertarianism, or something, may want to note the lengthy item dropped in the comments pool in today's "This Date in The Eternal Suffering of All You Idiots" feature. (Directly beneath this.) Or not.

Donita? And G. Buddha?

By The Associated Press 1 hr. 4 mins. ago Today is Wednesday, April 8, the 98th day of 2009. There are 267 days left in the year. The Jewish holiday Passover begins at sunset. [That means we have to stay inside all wk., right? — Ed.] AP's World of Difference. A/V. The UPI Almanac advises us that "On this day, Buddhists celebrate the commemoration of the birth of Gautama Buddha, the founder of Buddhism, thought to have lived in India from 563 B.C. to 483 B.C." Today's Highlight in History: On April 8, 1974, Hank Aaron of the Atlanta Braves hit his 715th career home run in a game against the Los Angeles Dodgers, breaking Babe Ruth's record. Braves announcer Mylo Hamilton makes the call.On this date: In 1513, explorer Juan Ponce de Leon and his expedition began exploring the Florida coastline. In 1913, the 17th Amendment to the Constitution, providing for direct popular election of United States senators (as opposed to appointment by state legislatures), was ratified. In 1935, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Emergency Relief Appropriations Act, which provided money for programs such as the Works Progress Administration. In 1946, the League of Nations assembled in Geneva for its final session. In 1952, President Harry S. Truman seized the steel industry to avert a nationwide strike. (The U.S. Supreme Court later ruled that Truman had overstepped his authority.) In 1970, the Senate rejected President Richard M. Nixon's nomination of G. Harold Carswell to the U.S. Supreme Court. In 1973, artist Pablo Picasso died at his home near Mougins, France, at age 91. In 1988, TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart resigned from the Assemblies of God after he was defrocked for rejecting an order from the church's national leaders to stop preaching for a year amid reports he'd consorted with a prostitute. In 1990, Ryan White, the teenage AIDS patient whose battle for acceptance gained national attention, died in Indianapolis at age 18. In 1994, Kurt Cobain, singer and guitarist for the grunge band Nirvana, was found dead in Seattle from an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound; he was 27. Ten years ago: At a White House news conference, President Bill Clinton said NATO could still win in Kosovo by air power alone, and he expressed hope for an early release of three American POWs; also at the session with reporters was visiting Chinese Premier Zhu Rongji, who promised to cooperate in investigations of alleged nuclear-weapons spying and illegal campaign contributions by Beijing. Five years ago: National security adviser Condoleezza Rice told the Sept. 11 commission "there was no silver bullet" that could have prevented the attacks. Iraqi insurgents released a videotape of three Japanese captives, threatening to burn them alive if Japan did not withdraw its troops from Iraq. (The hostages were later released unharmed.) Fred Olivi, who copiloted the plane that dropped the atomic bomb on Nagasaki, died in Lemont, Ill., at age 82. One year ago: The top U.S. commander in Iraq, Army Gen. David Petraeus, told Congress that hard-won gains in the war zone were too fragile to promise any troop pullouts beyond the summer as he held his ground against impatient Democrats and refused to commit to more withdrawals before President George W. Bush left office in January 2009. American Airlines grounded all 300 of its MD-80 jetliners amid safety concerns about wiring bundles; the carrier ended up canceling more than 3,000 flights over the next four days. Tennessee captured its eighth women's NCAA championship with a 64-48 victory over Stanford. Today's Birthdays: Former first lady Betty Ford is 91. Comedian Shecky Greene is 83. Actor-turned-diplomat John Gavin is 78. Author and investigative reporter Seymour Hersh is 72. Basketball Hall-of-Famer John Havlicek is 69. "Mouseketeer" Darlene Gillespie is 68. Singer J.J. Jackson is 68. Singer Peggy Lennon (The Lennon Sisters) is 68. Songwriter-producer Leon Huff is 67. Actor Hywel Bennett is 65. Actor Stuart Pankin is 63. Rock musician Steve Howe (Yes) is 62. Movie director John Madden ("Shakespeare in Love") is 60. Rock musician Mel Schacher (Grand Funk Railroad) is 58. Baseball Hall-of-Famer Gary Carter is 55. Actor John Schneider is 49. Rock musician Izzy Stradlin is 47. Singer Julian Lennon is 46. Rock singer-musician Donita Sparks is 46. [How'd she get in here? —Ed.]Rapper Biz Markie is 45. Actress Robin Wright Penn is 43. Actress Patricia Arquette is 41. Rock singer Craig Honeycutt (Everything) is 39. Rock musician Darren Jessee is 38. Actress Emma Caulfield is 36. Actress Katee Sackhoff is 29. Actor Taylor Kitsch is 28. Rock singer-musician Ezra Koenig (Vampire Weekend) is 25. Actor Taran Noah Smith is 25. Actress Kirsten Storms is 25. On April eighth, 1963, "Lawrence of Arabia" won the Oscars for best picture and best director. In 1973, Neil Young's autobiographical film "Journey Through The Past" premiered at the US Film Festival in Dallas. In 1975, "The Godfather Part Two" won the best picture Oscar. In 1983, Danny Rapp, lead singer of Danny and the Juniors, was found dead of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound. He was 41. In 1986, actor Clint Eastwood won his bid to become mayor of Carmel, California. In 1991, a lawsuit was filed against Virgin Records, claiming that Paula Abdul did not do all of the singing on her hit album "Forever Your Girl." The record company eventually won. In 1993, singer Marian Anderson died at age 96 in Portland, Oregon. In 1994, singer Kurt Cobain of Nirvana was found dead in his Seattle home of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He was 27. [And he'd been dead for three days. Think about that. — Ed.] Read the original AP story. In 1996, actor Ben Johnson, who won an Oscar for "The Last Picture Show," died at age 77 in Mesa, Arizona. In 1997, singer-songwriter Laura Nyro died of ovarian cancer at her home in Danbury, Connecticut. She was 49. The songs Nyro wrote include "Wedding Bell Blues," "Eli's Coming," and "Stoney End." Thought for Today: "A highbrow is a person educated beyond his intelligence." — James Brander Matthews, American author and educator (1852-1929). Copyright ©2009 The Associated Press. All rights reversed. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.

Music Aversion Therapy

Someone (below) billing himself as "America's Tenor™" has cut a discwhose title tune, "Amazed by America," was co-written by Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Mormon). We can't imagine anyone out there would be cheating their employer just to scan this drivel, but this is not safe for anywhere.

One question: Isn't "God Bless America" enough? Do we need "God Bless the USA" as well?

Economic Geography

Big (for the Internet, & our attention span) piece in the Atlantic on the dislocation & economic/geographic rearrangement to come as a result of the free market's recent, absolute & unquestioned triumph.

Our so far favorite phrase, "fictitious housing wealth," occurs in this chunk of text:

While the crisis may have begun in New York, it will likely find its fullest bloom in the interior of the country—in older, manufacturing regions whose heydays are long past and in newer, shallow-rooted Sun Belt communities whose recent booms have been fueled in part by real-estate speculation, overdevelopment, and fictitious housing wealth. These typically less affluent places are likely to become less wealthy still in the coming years, and will continue to struggle long after the mega-regional hubs and creative cities have put the crisis behind them.

Our heart pumps piss for the poor bastards & their fictitious housing wealth. "Ain't that a shame," as Fats Domino would have it.

Two of our favorite cities, Phoenix, AZ, & Las Vegas, NV, in particular, aren't getting out of it easily. "Whole cities and metro regions became giant Ponzi schemes" is a fine phrase as well.

Yet the boom itself neither followed nor resulted in the development of sustainable, scalable, highly productive industries or services. It was fueled and funded by housing, and housing was its primary product. Whole cities and metro regions became giant Ponzi schemes. [...] Will people wash out of these places as fast as they washed in, leaving empty sprawl and all the ills that accompany it? Will these cities gradually attract more businesses and industries, allowing them to build more-diverse and more-resilient economies? Or will they subsist on tourism—which may be meager for quite some time—and on the Social Security checks of their retirees? No matter what, their character and atmosphere are likely to change radically.

The entire article is actually interesting; its major thrust is that what we've known for the last seventy-odd yrs. is over, baby!  

Some cities and regions will eventually spring back stronger than before. Others may never come back at all. As the crisis deepens, it will permanently and profoundly alter the country’s economic landscape. I believe it marks the end of a chapter in American economic history, and indeed, the end of a whole way of life.

That's your life (maybe even lives) bourgeois pigs/suburban scumbags!

An added bonus is the lack of economic jargon, statistics, & prediction. No dates of recovery guessed at, no assumptions that people will act rationally, etc. Not bad for the director of the Martin Prosperity Institute at the University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Management. But we should mention our quibbles w/ this academic. We're doubtless more opposed to home ownership than he is (Property is theft!) but his opposition is based on home owning impeding the labor force's hopping wherever its corporate master needs it to go. And there's a tinge of elitism throughout. He's the author of The Rise of the Creative Class, & you can bet that he assumes all of his clever friends w/ their post-graduate degrees (looking down their noses at we, the people) are going to do just fine in their creative, mostly coastal enclaves, while the Rust & Sun Belters will be SOL in their decaying cities & overdeveloped Ponzi sheme suburbs/exurbs. 

Although we're no longer sure what our position on elitism is. (Or why we need to have a position on it, even.) We probably should be for it, as it seems to bother the commoners of the right. Depends on which elite's ox is being gored, really. 

Le Mort Du Coeur De Lion (& Jeezis, From That Band Nazareth, Too!)

By The Associated Press 1 hr. 41 mins. ago Today is Tuesday, April 7, the 97th day of 2009. There are 268 days left in the year. This date in the AP's other history. A/V. The UPI Almanac, which states: "In A.D. 30, by many scholars' reckoning, Jesus of Nazareth was crucified in Jerusalem." [Really? — Ed.] Today's Highlight in History: On April 7, 1862, Union forces led by Gen. Ulysses S. Grant defeated the Confederates at the Battle of Shiloh in Tennessee.On this date: Eight hundred and ten yrs. ago, in 1199, King Richard I of England (also known as The Lion-Heart) died in the Limousin region of France at age 41 after being mortally wounded by an arrow. In 1859, Walter Camp, the "Father of American Football," was born in New Britain, Conn. In 1927, an audience in New York watched as the image as well as voice of Commerce Secretary Herbert Hoover were transmitted live from Washington in the first successful long-distance demonstration of television. In 1939, Italy invaded Albania, which was annexed less than a week later. In 1949, the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical "South Pacific" opened on Broadway. In 1953, the U.N. General Assembly elected Dag Hammarskjold of Sweden to be secretary-general. In 1959, a referendum in Oklahoma repealed the state's ban on alcoholic beverages. [They've only been wet for 50 yrs.? — Ed.] In 1969, the Supreme Court, in Stanley v. Georgia, unanimously struck down laws prohibiting private possession of obscene material. In 1978, President Jimmy Carter announced he was deferring development of the neutron bomb, a high-radiation weapon. In 1983, space shuttle astronauts Story Musgrave and Don Peterson took the first U.S. space walk in almost a decade as they worked in the open cargo bay of Challenger for nearly four hours. Ten years ago: NATO stepped up its airstrikes in Yugoslavia after rejecting President Slobodan Milosevic's cease-fire declaration. Yugoslav authorities, meanwhile, closed the main exit route where a quarter-million ethnic Albanians had fled Kosovo. Five years ago: Mounir el Motassadeq, the only Sept. 11 suspect ever convicted, was freed after a Hamburg, Germany, court ruled that the evidence was too weak to hold him pending a retrial. One year ago: Anti-China protesters disrupted the Olympic torch relay in Paris, at times forcing Chinese organizers to put out the flame and take the torch onto a bus to secure it. Kansas won the NCAA championship, defeating Memphis 75-68. Coach Pat Riley, Hakeem Olajuwon, Patrick Ewing, Adrian Dantley and broadcaster Dick Vitale were among those selected to Basketball's Hall of Fame. Today's Birthdays: Actor R.G. Armstrong is 92. Sitar player Ravi Shankar is 89. Actor James Garner is 81. Country singer Cal Smith is 77. Actor Wayne Rogers is 76. Media commentator Hodding Carter III is 74. Country singer Bobby Bare is 74. Rhythm-and-blues singer Charlie Thomas (The Drifters) is 72. California Attorney General Jerry Brown is 71. Movie director Francis Ford Coppola is 70. TV personality David Frost is 70. Singer Patricia Bennett (The Chiffons) is 62. Singer John Oates is 60. Singer Janis Ian is 58. Country musician John Dittrich is 58. Actor Jackie Chan is 55. Football Hall-of-Famer Tony Dorsett is 55. Actor Russell Crowe is 45. Rhythm-and-blues singer Mark Kibble (Take 6) is 45. Actor Bill Bellamy is 44. Rock musician Dave "Yorkie" Palmer (Space) is 44. Former football player-turned-analyst Tiki Barber is 34. Actress Heather Burns is 34. On April seventh, 1927, an audience in New York saw an image of Commerce Secretary Herbert Hoover, in the first successful long-distance demonstration of television. In 1949, the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical "South Pacific" opened on Broadway. It ran for more than 1,900 performances. In 1962, Mick Jagger and Keith Richards met future Rolling Stones guitarist Brian Jones at a London blues club. In 1970, "Midnight Cowboy" was named best picture at the Academy Awards. John Wayne won the best actor award for "True Grit." In 1975, guitarist Ritchie Blackmore left Deep Purple. He went on to form Rainbow. In 1995, models Elle Macpherson, Claudia Schiffer and Naomi Campbell opened the Fashion Cafe in New York. In 1997, singer Liam Gallagher of Oasis married actress Patsy Kensit in a secret civil ceremony in London. In 1998, singer George Michael was arrested for committing a lewd act in a park restroom in Beverly Hills, California. Also in 1998, drummer Tommy Lee of Motley Crue pleaded no contest to felony spousal abuse. He was accused of kicking his wife, actress Pamela Anderson Lee, while she held their son. Lee was sentenced to six months in jail. In 2003, actor Russell Crowe married Danielle Spencer in Australia. [Sadly obvious & platitudinous] Thought for Today: "No date on the calendar is as important as tomorrow." — Roy W. Howard, American newspaper publisher (1883-1964). Copyright © 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reversed. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reversed.