At Last, Something Has So Irritated Me That I Wasted Even More of My Life Starting a "Weblog" to Bitch & Moan About It!!

I watch television. A lot. SoCalEd needs the money more than I do. Even as I wander the web, the idiot box is on. I'm hoping something horrible will happen & I'll know about it the very instant MSNBC (Mighty Sorry No Body Cares) or CNN (Crappy Nothing Network) decide to share it with the rest of the world. And, reclusive misanthropic melancholiac that I am, I'm still residually humanoid enough to desire something vaguely human or at least mammalian making noise around me. However, the friend and feline associate I share my solitude with is not very vocal, Windows XP has decided there is "No Audio Device" on my devil box, and as I'm willing neither to make musical decisions nor make the physical effort to change the CD or tape (it's enough of a struggle to click the "I hate this fucking piece of music, don't you ever dare play it in the same Zip Code as I'm in again" option on those "customized for you" music services the vast corporate intertube outfits make available) I just leave the tube on. As mentioned above, it's usually a news channel, or even "World Nightly Evening News." (Just so I can know what the people who run "Nightly Evening World News" think the wretches who watch their crap should be watching, not because I think I'm gaining any actual objective knowledge from said watching.) Said channels & programs (and of course the Sabbath gas fests) all skew to an older demographic. That means advertisements for medications (and that no-self-respect shitheel Dennis Hopper talking about your "dreams" and implying that if you give your money to some corporate parasite "fund" or whatever the hell they're calling their scam the 1960s will never stop for you - no fucking wonder "Gen X" or "Y" or "Z" or whoever are always whining on their little blogs about how they wish "The Boomers" would just die & get out of the way - I'm starting to agree with them, at least based on Mr. Hopper & his "Freedom Fund" or whatever the hell his con is called, and I'm a so-called "Boomer"!) and among all these ads we find (over & over & over & over again, to the point that I finally snapped and wrote this pile of steaming crap) the lovely, and apparently quite greedy as well, portrayer of the title characters of both Gidget & The Flying Nun, one Sally Field, who also earns at least AFTRA scale in some weekly Sunday night soap opera, shilling for a product called Boniva, which cuts off osteoporosis at the pass, or something equally noble. This is all well & good, no one wants to see older female ancestors/relatives hobbling about on a walker, or if you do want to see that you certainly don't want to have to drive the old bat all over hell 'cause her debilitating condition no longer allows her to put the pedal to the metal, and that's not the point of this, I'm sure it works just fine (keep your ears open for the possible side effects though). No, my complaint is the selling point of this fine formulation. Apparently the products with which Boniva (and by the way I'm just so fucking sorry I haven't yet mastered HTML yet, so I could make that cute little tm thingie next to the word) competes in the free market require the vibrant, lively, still kickin' & rockin' ladies who need their skeletons strengthened to "set aside one day a week" to take their pill. Yes, Sally's "girlfriend" (Odd choice of word, that, by the way. Wouldn't just plain "friend" do as well? Does Sal want to tell us something? I've never seen men in any Boniva ad, with or without Ms. F., just gals bummed at their weekly regimen, so it doesn't seem necessary to emphasize that it's not her boyfriend.) has to "set aside" one day a week to take her pill. ONE DAY A WEEK TO TAKE HER PILL! WTF?, as the kids (those rotten little punks) say. Set aside one day a week. Is this some sort of horse pill that requires renting a crane to get it to mouth level? Does "girlfriend" have to visit a medical professional who's hiding behind a lead apron and using tongs to drop the pill down "GF's" gaping maw? Let me make this just as clear as possible, so that even people like you can understand: IT'S JUST A FUCKING PILL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO "SET ASIDE" A DAY TO TAKE IT, YOU JUST TAKE IT!! IF IT TAKES YOU MORE THAN 20 SECONDS TO TAKE THE FUCKING THING, INCLUDING OPENING & CLOSING THE BOTTLE, YOU'RE AN IDIOT!! (Of course, if you got the rheumatiz & the fingers ain't what they used to be, that's another story, and if it comes in one of those bubble do-dads you have to pop it out of, that could add seconds to the time, and I guess pouring that glass of calcium-enriched o. j. could make the whole process of opening the fridge, getting the glass, etc., etc., consume as much as, oh, let's say, TWO FUCKING MINUTES, TOTAL?) And the advantage of Boniva? Well, you need only "set aside" one day a MONTH! Great. Of course, you're probably more likely to forget the damn thing entirely if you only do it once a month, but they don't mention that, do they? There is a shot of a date book in the ad, perhaps the actual problem is having to write "Take your osteoporosis prevention pill today, dummy!" four times per month, instead of the so much simpler once per month. By now, if you or anyone else have made your way this far (let alone if anyone has even found this in the first place) you've assumed that your humble author is the sort of person who has to take at least one medication a day (probably under penalty of law) and of course you'd be abso-fugging-lutely correct. And it's no problem at all to "set aside" one day a day to take it, either. I wake up, I turn on the television, I take my pill, and soon Ms. Field will be along to explain how happy her "girlfriend" was to have Sally tell her she only has to "set aside" one day a month. Really improves your entire existence, dunnit? Doesn't do too much for mine, though.