Here You Go, Food Nazi Michelle Obama

Sorry to admit we haven't tried any of these, other than a McRib®, & of course we've had a burrito or two at Taco Smell. (Identified as a taco in the slideshow. Fucking gawd damn shit, if you're going to type & bitch about food, learn the difference! And the McRib® & $2.00 Meal Deal in the "Worst of 2010" are old stuff on a comeback or merely the same shit at a newly reduced "price point.")

Our recent McRib was crummy. No recollection of whether they were any good the first go-round, even though we remember having had several in that halcyon/Golden Arches age.

This item does look like fun. (Not healthy, you bourgeois sheep, but fun. Like, kicks, man.) Except for that green stuff. That crap rots, do not eat it!

Friendly's® Grilled Cheese BurgerMelt.

One of the many advantages of living in the very bowel of the beast (i.e., most Zone Improvement Postal codes that start w/ 900) is that few of the nation-wide shit-for-suburban-scumbags chains locate in 900XX. (No shit. Closest Friendly's® appears to be in 43512, a mere 1,910 miles from our ZIP. No wonder we don't see any national adverts for them on the telly.)

Ah, we see that Friendly's® is "Where ice cream makes the meal®." We did not know that, do not believe it, & could not possibly care any less, one way or the other. Read the history.

We are a company founded on ice cream but built around families. We opened our first Friendly's Ice Cream Shop in Springfield, Massachusetts in 1935. Friendly's is a place where hungry people can sit together, eat together, joke together and debate about who has the best way to eat an ice cream sundae, where sons can find out why lefty pitchers are harder to hit and where families can meet up to get an extra fifteen minutes of talk time over our famous ice cream.

Is this whole Mormon/Manson family dinner together horseshit an admission that America's children hate their parents so damn much that if they weren't held hostage by threat of food deprivation they would tell their parents just how stupid & boring they are, if not kill them in their sleep?

If any place deserves to burn to the ground in a suspicious but possibly grease-caused fire (As if, once one applies the mind to the concept, there's any place that doesn't deserve that.) it would be one of these dumps. Lucky the closest one is almost 2,000 miles from us.