S.S. Cupp Sinks On NASCAR Vacation Cruise

On occasion, mere words can't do justice to other words. A physical action is almost necessary, but there's nothing we can smash around here.

What words, did you ask? Alright, we'll have to get around to them sooner or later, so please join us in our misery, as inflicted by one S.E. Cupp:

That same day I trotted over to tape a live segment for “The 700 Club” to talk about “Losing Our Religion” in the same studio [sic] I once did a segment for Alhurra, an Arabic-language television network serving the Middle East. I had the host in one ear via satellite, and his translator in the other, asking me questions about the importance of Muslim Americans in the 2008 presidential election. It was like I was at the UN, except I didn’t feel soiled afterward.

We never had the privilege of reading Larry King's newspaper column, but it must have been close to this awful. He may not have waxed political, but we doubt if he ever fucking "trotted over" anywhere.

And what the hell is this, speaking of old tee vee/radio bastards?

Upon returning, it was back to work. I did “Imus in the Morning” (which is to say, I did Imus’s morning show, and not an act you might find a requisite in Dante’s seventh circle of hell.) And as usual it was just lovely. Here’s a hilarious recap of our exchange. If I weren’t absolutely terrified of him (and if I could actually understand what he was saying) we might be able to enjoy a beautiful friendship. I like to imagine us watching re-runs of “Silver Spoons” on TV Land, over a pint of Cherry Garcia. We’d occasionally stop to kill a live horse and play with its entrails. We’d end the evening performing an acoustic version of David Bowie’s “Space Oddity,” on the castanets for my stuffed teddy bears, Junior Johnson and Thin Lizzy. Until that glorious day, I’ll just have to settle for being the adorable little Vanna to his Pat Sajak on the show.

????? At least Vanna keeps her trap shut & her fingers away from keyboards.