Today In The Eternal Suffering Of MankindHumanitySorry, Ladies!

Today is Sunday, Feb. 22, the 53rd day of 2009. There are 312 days left in the year. AP. AP A/V. UPI Almanac. Today's Highlight in History: On Feb. 22, 1732, The first president of the United States, George Washington, was born in Westmoreland County in the Virginia Colony. On this date: In 1784, a US merchant ship, the Empress of China, left New York for the Far East to trade goods with China. In 1862, Jefferson Davis, already the provisional president of the Confederacy, was inaugurated for a six-year term following his election in November 1861. In 1889, President Grover Cleveland signed an enabling act paving the way for the Dakotas, Montana and Washington to become states. In 1909, the Great White Fleet, a naval task force sent on a round-the-world voyage by President Theodore Roosevelt, returned after more than a year at sea. In 1924, President Calvin Coolidge delivered the first radio broadcast from the White House as he addressed the country over 42 stations. In 1934, Frank Capra's romantic comedy "It Happened One Night," starring Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert, opened at New York's Radio City Music Hall. In 1959, the inaugural Daytona 500 race was held in Daytona Beach, Fla.; although Johnny Beauchamp was initially declared the winner, the victory was later awarded to Lee Petty. In 1973, the United States and China agreed to establish liaison offices. In 1980, the United States Olympic hockey team upset the Soviets at Lake Placid, N.Y., 4-3. (The US team went on to win the gold medal.) In 1984, 12-year-old David Vetter, who'd spent most his life in a plastic bubble because he had no immunity to disease, died 15 days after being removed from the bubble for a bone-marrow transplant. In 1987, Pop artist Andy Warhol died at age 58.Ten years ago: Levi Strauss, falling victim to a fashion generation gap, announced it was closing 11 plants. Five years ago: Consumer advocate Ralph Nader entered the presidential race as an independent. A Palestinian suicide bomber blew himself up on a crowded Jerusalem bus, killing eight passengers. Rebels captured Haiti's second-largest city, claiming Cap-Haitien as their biggest prize in a two-week-old uprising.

One year ago: Turkish troops crossed into northern Iraq in their first major ground incursion against Kurdish rebel bases in nearly a decade. Singer-actress Jennifer Lopez gave birth to twins, a girl and a boy. Civil rights activist Johnnie Carr died in Montgomery, Ala., at age 97.

Thought for Today: "The crude commercialism of America, its materializing spirit are entirely due to the country having adopted for its natural hero a man who could not tell a lie." — Oscar Wilde, Irish-born dramatist (1854-1900). Today's Birthdays: Announcer Don Pardo is 91. [Hokey Smokes, we saw this & wondered when he'd left Saturday Night Live, but then we caught the SNL intro, & the man is still cranking it out!! We used to dig him on the real "Jeopardy" during daytime in the mid-'60s, for crying out loud. Ninety-fucking-one & he's still got it! (Almost gives us hope.) — Ed.] Actor Paul Dooley is 81. Hollywood "ghost singer" Marni Nixon is 79. Senator Edward M. Kennedy (D-Mass.) is 77. Movie director Jonathan Demme is 65. Actor John Ashton is 61. Actress Miou-Miou is 59. Actress Julie Walters is 59. Basketball Hall-of-Famer Julius Erving is 59. Actor Kyle MacLachlan is 50. Actress-comedian Rachel Dratch is 43. Actress Jeri Ryan is 41. Actor Thomas Jane is 40. Actress Tamara Mello is 39. Actress-singer Lea Salonga is 38. Actor Jose Solano is 38. Tennis Hall-of-Famer Michael Chang is 37. Actress Drew Barrymore is 34.

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