Deluded, Demented & Drooling

Why did Ronald Reagan return the mentally ill to the streets? He needed their votes!

But now they don't just vote; they fill the Republican candidate pool.

Thombs held up her hand for quiet and doubled down. "I have a Republican opponent who has children by two different mothers and owes child support."

Next, she accused him of fabricating his college degree, eliciting another round of jeers from an irritated audience. But the coup de grâce was this: "You know, his real experience in management is Chuck E. Cheese."

Mahroum would later insist to The Fort Worth Star-Telegram that he is, in fact, a regional trainer for the novelty pizza chain.

Once she'd finished with her fellow candidates, she took aim, albeit briefly, at the subject that had ostensibly motivated her candidacy in the first place. History, she stated, should be written by "experts, not people from socialist higher education." As far as the sciences go, "We know we didn't come from monkeys!"

"Ladies and gentlemen," she began in summation. "They're using your tax dollars to brainwash our children into socialist issues and ideas and it is time for it to stop. Common Core and every single shred of CSCOPE has got to go."

And from the above-mentioned Star-Telegram:

Thombs’ website made its debut last week.

She wrote that she’s running to fight — her spellings — “adgendas and ideoligies.”

That was right after the part about teaching the basics.

Parents are “criticle,” she wrote, and she’s an “advicate” and “expereinced.”

She summed up her “Mission and Issues” as to “stem the tide of our best and brightest teachers leaving the classroom to pursue other carriers, because they can no longer live with the policies and mandates they no are harmful to their students.”

(Some but not all of the spelling problems have been corrected.)

("Carriers" is still there.)Yesterday's satire, lampoon or parody, today's grim reality.