Another McArdle Item W/ Which We Didn't Want To Deal Right Now

Nonetheless we slogged on. We really should be paid (we could use the money) for wasting our time w/ this garbage.

"Both sides do it," sez she. Because making the current office holder an unrecognizable & contradictory (Affirmative Action TelePrompTer-using dimbulb or gay evil socialist genius destroying Wall St.?) caricature of all that honkies fear & loathe is exactly equivalent to calling a certifiable war criminal & election thief "Hitler."We can not tell you how glad we are we weren't awake to see this.Beyond the tele-crap above, two print items we'd contemplated abusing before, but eventually gave up on because we were sick of seeing the two open tabs (& we had so many open Chrome was using too much memory) so we closed them. But we couldn't forget them. Now we've arsed ourself.

Dumb (OK, ignorant.) bunny Megan had apparently never heard of gangs of vicious teens raiding stores en masse. (It was going on even before every little creep had a damn idiotPhone.) until she saw it somewhere. We most enjoyed the subhead:

Dozens of teenagers mobbing stores for a simultaneous shoplifting spree. How are merchants supposed to defend against this sort of mass attack?

Is it "shoplifting" if the youth go into the temples of commodity fetishism & just grab shit from the shelves w/ no attempt at concealing what they're doing? And it wouldn't be Megan if her concern for the money-grubbers wasn't so touching. "Who will think of the merchants?" Of course, they're 7-Eleven® owners, not "merchants." And "attack" might be a little strong. (Here we could interject something along the lines of "We'll show you an attack, ninny!") Concluding paragraph:

Obviously, I'm not going to suggest that we should all give up cell phones because some teenagers may be misusing them. But I hope that someone is working on some sort of solution for this--technological or otherwise.

2x4s to their heads, Missy? That seems to be your solution to any one threatening the sanctity of property.

No, not over yet. This one's more inane than anything else. Except that after several mins. of scrolling up & down McArdle's Daily Beast oeuvre we can't find it; maybe it was so stupid it was disappeared. Fuck it, should've gone w/ our first instinct, as in the headline.

Also, wavier hair.