Pooping On The Grand Old Pizza Party

A sincere & deeply felt "Fuck you, asshole," to perfectly-coiffed ignoramus/jerk-wad Mittens "Mitt" Romneyquoted in Slate as saying:

"Free pizza for everybody all day!" jokes Mitt Romney [...] Just kidding, Romney says: "This is not a Democrat establishment."

From pizza parlor to fudge factory, you can be damn sure that wherever Mitt "Richie" Romney is there's little democracy going on, Democratic Party or democratic. So why doesn't he shut his fucking Jello®-hole w/ the "Democrat" as adjective routine? Actual Point of This Effort: The outfit sponsoring the pizza-fest (Any controversy here? Is N. Virginia pizza different than Southern V. pizza? Or do the nat'l. corporate chains keep it consistently cardboard-y across the Commonwealth?) the just-formed NCNA, is composed of actual Republican office-holders, current & former. Guys whose power, wealth, self-esteem & underlying desire to "show mommy something" all depend on their being in office, or being very close to those who are. Guys whose party has lost the last two elections by serious margins. Not a collection of deranged bloggers & tee vee hosts who are really better served by opposition & contrarianism, but guys who have to win a few elections here & there. 

We might, therefore, want to pay attention to these dudes; they're the ones really losing if the Goofy Old Party succeeds in its present efforts at further self-marginalization. In other words: Desperation time. Any one have any ideas? Anything?

The point, according to one of its founders, is to "take the discussion outside of Washington, to make sure ideas shaping policy here in Washington is coming from outside and from the American people." [...] "This is not a quote 'rebranding' effort," said McCain on a conference call Thursday. "It's an effort to include as many Americans as possible from across the ideological spectrum and come up with solutions that help our country and our future."

OK. Whatever. We thought Newt Gingrich was capable of generating enough "ideas" for them, but for some non-"rebranding" project they have to turn to the great un-washed.

The NCNA makes its first foray Saturday, when it ventures deep into heartland America: a restaurant in Northern Virginia.

And good luck w/ your pizza parties, boys. 

Guys, boys, dudes, the reader might ask, what sort of pig are you? Surely there are some good cloth-coat Republican women involved w/ this? Maybe they're making 'phone calls or copies between runs to Starbucks®, but not at the top. (Part of the Party of Lincoln's problem?)

So who's in charge of this nonpartisan organization? Well, Republican House Minority Whip Eric Cantor is heading it up. Then there's House Minority Leader John Boehner, John McCain, Mitt Romney, Haley Barbour, Jeb Bush, Bobby Jindal, Mike Pence, Pete Sessions, Roy Blunt, Mitch McConnell, Jon Kyl, Lamar Alexander, John Cornyn, and John Thune. They've also reached out to Sarah Palin, but no word yet on whether she'll be participating.

High-speed connection or not, we aren't looking them all up, but an all-dude, all Xian (doubtless fundievangelical) except Rep. Cantor (who is a fundamentalist Jew, per Wikipedia: Mrs. Cantor's mother, Barbara Fine, lives and manages the cooking and shopping in the Cantor household, which is kosher. ^[6]) all of them honkies, of course, except Gov. Jindal, & most of them from the former Confederate States.

How did their party ever end up where it — Oh, we meant how did their excursion to the wilds of Northern Virginny go? A clue:

For the kickoff event, a few dozen local Republicans—including names like Grover Norquist—packed into Pie-tanza, a small restaurant in a suburban strip mall, to see Romney, Cantor, and Bush discuss the GOP's future. The conversation steered clear of hot-button issues like gay marriage and immigration, focusing instead on the economy, health care, and education. Questions tended toward the softball. How would Republicans help small businesses? (Lower taxes, free up capital.) How does the Employee Free Choice Act affect business? (It's "the biggest misnomer I've seen," said Cantor.) How do we fight back against the Obama administration's high taxes and overreach? (Educate voters.)

Oh, this is going to be a long one. (Though maybe we should be keeping our eyes on Jeb Bush.) They're not even starting to stretch yet. And if Grover Norquist is there to check on them every time ...