New Hope For Wretched Repubs?

OK, we found a funny. For background, examine Jonah Goldberg's meta-post  (Ha ha. "Meta" our ass. He's just pimping himself.) where he pines for a Great Brown Hope to save the GOP. 

Goldberg, of course, has been too busy doing whatever it is he does to maintain an arm's length or more from reality to notice that there's a nest of Cuban-American Republicans whose votes have been impeding sensible relations between their ancestral homeland & the United Snakes, & handing Florida's electoral vote to the Rs for 40 some yrs. 

(And he is painfully stupid. Too dense to feel the pain himself? Perhaps.  

But most of all, an Hispanic candidate would help win back Republican moderates. Remember how important Colin Powell and the diversity pageant at the 2000 GOP convention were. It was never the intent to win over huge numbers of black voters. Rather, it was to send the message to soccer moms and the like that it wasn't "racist" to vote for the GOP. An Hispanic candidate could have the same effect.

Yes, he comes right out & says it's all pretty much tokenism. Bring on the "diversity pageant" for television to convince white people who aren't Klan members that voting Republican isn't racist. Then forget about it for two conventions. And all the time between, of course. Remember the pageant of diversity that the 2008 convention was? 

Next, get a moderate Hispanic to pander to black people's fear of immigrants taking all the high-paying service jobs, & that'll get the black moderates under that big old tent of theirs. The next step should be to get an Asian person to convince non-Cuban Hispanics to join, right? What the hell?) 

At The Weekly Standard, where they may be not expected to turn a profit but are part of a greed-driven corporate empire that understands more than nepotism & legacy hires, actual work is being done to further the cause. 

When Republicans in Florida get to know Rubio, they will discover a dynamic speaker with an appealing biography and a deeply held conservative philosophy.

Heard that somewhere? All they need is a leader. When the right used-car salesman or motivational speaker comes along & bamboozles the body politic into falling for the same old crap (sorry, tried & true principles that have not in any way contributed to recent military troubles & economic meltdowns) they'll be on top again. Except even purer.

Deeply held philosophy? More like a cafeteria Catholic who goes to the local smorgasbord too.

Raised and confirmed a Catholic, Rubio worships with his family at an evangelical church.

Not an elitist either. He's a lawyer (Everyone likes them, don't they?) & he's been producing & creating jobs & meeting a payroll in private practice all his life.

Rubio rose rapidly in politics. Elected to the state house in 2000, he served as majority whip and majority leader before being named speaker for the 2007 and 2008 legislative sessions. He recently retired, as required by term-limits.

Termed out at 37. That is a rapid rise. He must have made a fortune producing & creating between law school & entering politics.

Rubio's pitch for the paper's endorsement back in 1998 in a race for city commissioner.

Nope, looks like a career parasite. Been trying to get one of those cushy gov't. jobs for at least eleven yrs. And not a Civil Service  job, w/ a test, & standards, but those gummint gigs where the only test one must pass is how well one lies, & how willing one is to lie. Electoral politics. 

But as Goldberg whined, it's all a "popularity contest." (More of the anti-democracy sentiments that are bubbling up. It's fine when you're popular though, isn't it, Jonah?) 

Like Obama, Rubio can thrill an audience. On April 13, he addressed the College Republicans and Students for a Free Cuba at George Washington University in Washington, D.C. Cuba, he said, presents us with "an opportunity just 90 miles off our shores to defend and stand up for the constitutional and Founding principles of this country." Rubio called the U.S. embargo "our last and only leverage point" for negotiating Cuban freedom with a successor regime. He added, "I wish we could do in China what I hope we'll do in Cuba, but we can't. There are geopolitical realities." The students--a sympathetic audience--were wowed by the speech, delivered without notes.

Oh, no TelePrompTer? Wowie zowie. And a sympathetic audience. How impartial of  author McCormack to mention that. Rubio came up w/ "defend and stand up for the constitutional and Founding principles of this country" all by himself? Would it be too much to ask Mr. No Notes just what we're defending against here? Cuba is another country, no matter how much Rubio may wish to return it to the corporate American interests that were in charge in the 1950s, & "standing up for the constitutional & Founding principles of this country" in someplace not-this-country sounds an awful lot like a desire to invade somewhere. What does he think "we" will do in Cuba, embargo them all to death? And what does he want to do in China? His grasp of "geopolitical realities" is not what he thinks it is. He does have a firm grasp on hypocrisy though.

Rubio opposes a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants

Sure, free pass to middle-class pigs fleeing evil communist economic policies, but people fleeing the ravages of capitalism can go fuck themselves. That will convince most immigrants to go GOP.

And for the coup-de-grâce, fiscal conservatism.

Rubio criticized Crist's property tax reduction as "a cosmetic fix to a very serious problem." Rubio had unsuccessfully fought to abolish the property tax and replace it with a 2.5 percent consumption tax. [...] Some voters may be turned off by his endorsement of Mike Huckabee in 2008, whom he backed mainly for supporting the "fair tax."

Consumption taxes. "Fair" taxes. Rubio is going to have to be one hell of a "dynamic speaker with an appealing biography" to cram a pair of ideas like that down the throats of the glorious & freedom-loving American people.

Not that he's getting past Charlie Crist anyway. Which never keeps 'em down.

Still, Rubio has a bright political future whether or not he wins the nomination. Even an unsuccessful campaign will raise his profile for the day, sooner or later, when voters decide that liberalism is not the change we need.

We agree. Liberalism is much too weak for the radical changes required. (Points to McCormack for not screaming "Socialist!!" & running around the room screaming about Marx & Mohamed.) But if the American people were really center-right, McCain would be president now; in a center-right America, everyone who, in real America, voted for Obama over J. Sidney would have voted for Bob Barr or the Constitution Party, rather than go O.