Friday, October 21, 2011

Fairness Doctrine

Shut the fucking hell up about Godfather's Pizza already, all of you. Current candidate Cain hasn't been involved w/ the company since 1996, if you believe Wikipedia*; it's been 15 yrs., & you can bet everything possible has been done to make it a less-expensive pie during that time. Indeed, both sides of the aisle agree it still stinks on ice. But it's not his pizza. And what the hell is "ZPizza?" Or "LedoPizza?" Is it fair to compare Godfather's to anything but other national corporate chain pies?
His successes at Burger King prompted Pillsbury to appoint him president and CEO of another subsidiary, Godfather's Pizza. Cain arrived on April 1, 1986, and told employees, "I'm Herman Cain and this ain't no April Fool's joke. We are not dead. Our objective is to prove to Pillsbury and everyone else that we will survive." Aiming to cut costs, Cain, over a 14-month period, reduced the company from 911 stores to 420. As a result of his efforts, Godfather's Pizza became profitable[citation needed]. In a leveraged buyout in 1988, Cain, Executive Vice-President and COO Ronald B. Gartlan and a group of investors bought Godfather's from Pillsbury. Cain continued as CEO until 1996, when he resigned.
Admittedly, his Willard Romney-like approach to Godfather's alleged profitability (Leverage a buyout, put thousands out of work & close over half your stores. Too bad he couldn't send those remaining jobs overseas. And how many undocumented workers did Godfather's hire during his tenure?) does provide a hint as to how competent he might be as anything beyond head of a trade association ("Hey, drunk driving's A-OK, we gotta make a buck too. Ain't our fault that guy wanted 14 martoonis right before he killed them six people w/ his car. The customer is always right!") failed U.S. Senate candidate or professional loudmouth.
*And maybe you can't. Compare the dates of Cain's reign given above to the dates given here: Cain in turn led a group to purchase the Godfather's brand from Pillsbury, which they did by the beginning of 1990. Cain stepped down from his position as CEO and President in 2002. One simply doesn't know who to believe.

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