There'll Always Be An England

One of the things Just Another Blog™ most regrets about being merely depressed, rather than a full-blown psychotic maniac, is the chance to act like this:

Retired English soccer star Paul Gascoigne was detained under the Mental Health Act after a series of bizarre incidents at a London hotel, according to London's Daily Mirror newspaper. The paper reported that Gascoigne "was almost permanently drunk, set off a fire alarm, spent hours gambling with staff and wandered around clutching plastic battery-operated parrots, during his two-week stay. "There were also reports he would order raw liver from room service -- and answer his door stark naked," the paper reported. A British tabloid, the Sun, followed up with a report that Gascoigne had recently checked into a rehabilitation center to help cure an addiction to Red Bull energy drink. It said he had been drinking 50 cans every day.

Sadly, we haven't the energy or desire to bother w/ any of that. Not that we'd eat even cooked liver. (Stay away from organ meats, folks. Eating a liver is like smoking a cigarette filter, f'r crissakes.) Or drink Red Bull™, let alone fifty a fucking day!! What the hell? Where's our battery-operated parrot, damnit? From the L. A. Times, but we'll bet if you searched the Daily Mail or The Sun there may be more details.