Joke of The Week

Foundation for Defense of Democracies [sic] would love to have you at their confab in Israel ("Defending Democracy, Defeating Terrorism") this June. (Maybe they'll be helping to stop Israeli terrorism against the Palestinian people...ha ha, we kid. Israel is a democracy, the Palestinians aren't. That answers that.) Oh, you have to be an academic. They're looking for:

...university professors and lecturers who serve in a teaching capacity to participate in the FDD's Academic Fellowship program.

Participants have included (names redacted for the sake of common decency):

Professor, Department of Criminal Justice, College of Human Ecology, East Carolina University Associate Professor, Department of Political Science, Brigham Young University Assistant Professor, Social Sciences and Philosophy Department, Arkansas Tech University Assistant Professor, Department of Political Science, Middle Tennessee State University Associate Professor of Political Science, Southern Connecticut State University Associate Professor of Political Science, Azusa Pacific University Paideia Professor and Holder of the Tower-Hester Chair in Politics, Southwestern University Associate Professor of Political Science, California State University at Chico Assistant Professor of Humanities, University of South Carolina at Beaufort Assistant Professor of Religious Studies and Director of the Center for Applied and Professional Ethics, California State University at Chico Professor of History, Grove City College Professor of History, The College of Mount Saint Vincent

Well, we didn't say you had to be much of an academic. And don't think it's going to be some picnic on the beach:

During the trip you are requested to dress in relaxed, business casual style. Acceptable attire for men includes shoes, khaki pants and a golf/polo shirt while women should wear a skirt/pants and a shirt/blouse. During off hours and on some visits to military bases you can dress in shorts and t-shirts- Israel is a very laid-back country. A light sweater or fleece vest might be necessary on some evenings and for air conditioned lecture halls. FDD will advise you about the dress code on a daily basis. Do I need to attend every FDD event in Israel?

Yes. Barring illness or some previous arrangement made with FDD, you are required to attend every FDD event in Israel. It is a condition of your acceptance into the program. If you have visited Jerusalem previously and prefer not to go on the tour of the Old City you may do so provided you advise the FDD staff of your decision, provide a point of contact, and rejoin the group on-time for the next day’s events. You will have plenty of time to enjoy yourself, but your activities will be largely group oriented. We should finish most days by 7:30 PM unless we have arranged a group event for the evening. Otherwise, you will be free until the next morning.

No free ride, either:

Under no circumstances will FDD pay for transportation costs that exceed the cost of round trip travel between your home airport and Tel Aviv.

So there.