Rabid Weasels of the Week (And It's Only Monday)

Weasel Numero Uno: The Prince of Darkness, not looking too healthy at the age of 77. Photo: Rich Hein/AP
Commit hit & run, die in agony. It's called justice. This time justice is meted out to Catholic columnist Robert Novak, whose sins were not limited to hit & run. Remember when he stormed off the set of a CNN program, & said dirty words besides? It's as if he's had a tumor pressing on vital parts of his brain for quite some time, destroying whatever parts of his humanity & decency that Catholicism didn't get to. Well, we won't have Nixon Novak to kick around any more.

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Political columnist Robert Novak, who was diagnosed with a brain tumor a week ago, said on Monday his prognosis was "dire" and announced his immediate retirement.

"The details are being worked out with the doctors this week, but the tentative plan is for radiation and chemotherapy," the 77-year-old writer said on the Web site of the Chicago Sun-Times, the newspaper that is home to his column.

Anyone as rabid as he should have been checked for brain tumors twice a month, at least since his column started appearing & it could have been determined that his brain wasn't working so well.

MSNBC claims that the victim of his hit & run was homeless. We'll guess His Majesty, the Prince of Darkness, didn't feel it was worth stopping for someone who wouldn't be able to sue him. We'd like to see him taken from his death bed & hauled into civil court while convulsing because his brain was being shoved into a corner of his skull by an ever-growing tumor. And we'd like to see the allegedly homeless victim be set up for life by Novak's estate.

Vicious, hateful, sentiments like that lead us directly to

Weasel Number Two (meant in every possible sense of the phrase) because that's the kind of shock value crap he deals in: Michael Savage, né Weiner, & his dog, at home in San Francisco. Let's see, single guy, rumored to have been or wanted to have been Allen Ginsberg's boyfriend, currently living in San Fran (the Bay Area, anyway) w/ a poodle (?). And overflowing w/ hate, venom, bile, fear of The Other, etc.? Stereotypical closet case, were you to ask armchair psychologist M. Bouffant. Photo: John Storey/AP file
Mikey Weiner's lawsuit for copyright infringement against CAIR (Council on American-Islamic Relations, & since when is a religion supposed to have specific relations w/ a nation-state? Next we'll have a council on American-Leprechaun Relations, we suppose.) for an obviously "fair use" of a transcription of Weiner's radio program in an attempt to dredge funds from people stupid enough to believe that a seventh century rug-merchant named Muhammad was not a paranoid delusional schizophrenic hearing voices, but was receiving the hot poop on how to live from an invisible man in the sky, was thrown out of federal court last Fri. (Fri. being the Islamic "holy day," we suppose Mr. Weiner sees some conspiracy in that.)

Savage sued the Council on American-Islamic Relations, or CAIR, for copyright infringement and racketeering late last year, claiming the group violated his rights by using a segment of his "Savage Nation" show in a letter-writing campaign to get advertisers to boycott the program. In the broadcast used by CAIR, Savage also called the Muslim holy book "a throwback document"

and

he called the Quran a "book of hate."

While Just Another Blog™ is in complete agreement w/ both of those incendiary statements, we hold that all religious books are filled w/ hate, & are certainly "throwbacks." Perhaps the silly Savage isn't aware that both the Torah & the New Testament are significantly older than the Muslim "Holy Book," therefore even greater throwbacks. (And they should all be thrown back, if you follow our drift.)

The biggest weasel action is this (Maybe Mikey should have been Numero Uno.):

In an interview with The Associated Press after he filed the lawsuit in December, Savage said he was referring to Iran's president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and his violent brand of Islamic extremism in the broadcast, not about the religion in general.

Yes. we certainly heard a lot of qualifying, "only Ahmadinejad" in those statements.

Savage's attorney, Daniel Horowitz, told the San Francisco Chronicle he plans to file a new racketeering suit.

Mr. Savage Weiner, please, continue to beat your head against the wall, until it's as fugged up as Mr. Novak's. Thank you.