Many Happy Returns

Best present you could give a man for his 72nd b-day? Why, an "administrative assistant" nine yrs. younger than the birthday boy's current wife, of course. And if she's a former beauty queen? Priceless. Wouldn't it be funny, though, if the Republican Convention denied J. Sidney McCain III his wish & foisted another old & wretched white guy on him? Don't hurt yourself blowing out all those candles, Senator. Also today: Michael Jackson (the twisted pervert, not the L. A. area radio host) turns 50. Time to grow up, sonny.