Open Letter To Loss Prevention Idiots

See these stupid little things? Next to useless, you irksome cop wanna-be losers.

I bitterly resent (fucking everything, admittedly) having to ask some schmuck to unlock some bullshit so I can buy some plastic crap, so the creeps at CVS almost lost a sale, but the present day consumer refuses to die, & w/ one twist of the wrist I freed the object of my desire, cardboard not being quite as strong as plastic or metal, you inane ninnies.

I did, however take it directly to a checkstand & shelled out US$26.82, a decision I am regretting, but I didn't figure I could gimp my way out of the CVS successfully unless I grabbed a cane on my way out too.

Next time I will just help myself.