And Now You Know My Mantra

These true Scots are my newest idols/rôle models.

'Robert Fergus, 72, ran naked with a pair of scissors in the reception of the MacDonald Loch Rannoch Hotel' 🙈 https://t.co/8AWacgLnzw

— Yoor Wullie (@YoorWullie) September 1, 2017

Staff and guests were forced to flee after two "out of control" pensioners rampaged through a Highland Perthshire resort hotel, a court heard.

Robert Fergus, 72, ran naked with a pair of scissors in the public reception of the MacDonald Loch Rannoch Hotel and smashed a glass pane.

His wife Ruth, 69, threatened to shoot a staff member after "reacting badly" to the alcohol she consumed earlier.

Running w/ scissors while nekkid? Ooh-rah! The Grauniad also restates the information given in court.

“Both accused were acting as if they were out of control,” Sweeney said. “He was observed to have a pair of scissors. Mrs Fergus said: ‘I’m going to get a gun and shoot you,’ at [staff member] Miss Titkova.

“On seeing the scissors, Miss Titkova shouted at the other staff and guests to run. They saw Mr Fergus pick up a sign and smash a glass pane in the door with it.”

At this point, Mr Fergus apparently tore through the foyer telling witnesses: “I’m going to slit you and kill you.”

I'm continuously reciting "I'll slit your fucking throat, bitch!" under my breath. It's very comforting.

Tip o' the chapeau.