Pope On The Road, Bringing Death, Chaos & Lies

The vestiges of Western attempts at colonialism were on display in Angola today, as His Repulsiveness, Pope Ratzi, urged Angolan Catholics to

reach out and convert people who believe in witchcraft. "In today's Angola, Catholics should offer the message of Christ to the many who live in the fear of spirits, of evil powers by whom they feel threatened."

Sez his un-holiness, Dracula, seen here performing an obscure Catholic ritual,then condemning those who live in "the fear of spirits?"

In the completely non-spiritual real estate world of the church, a denial is issued.

Amnesty International on Saturday called on the pope to use his influence to halt the threat of forced evictions for residents of Luanda to make rise for high-rise apartments and office buildings. Many have been given cheap houses in faraway satellite towns that have no running water or electricity. Amnesty said that between 2003 and 2006, thousands of people were forcibly evicted from land belonging to the Catholic Church in three Luanda districts. Asked at the press briefing about Amnesty's allegations, Lombardi referred the question to an Angolan bishop, Monsignor Jose Manuel Imbamba. The prelate denied that anyone had been evicted or houses destroyed. "We help the poor, we don't send them away," Imbamba said.

Like you help the altar boys, Monsignor? The Pope does bring happiness wherever he goes.

Hours before he arrived at the Coqueiros stadium, a stampede broke out as the gates were opened to people waiting outside, and two people were killed in the crush, said Vatican spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi. "The pope is very upset," Lombardi said late Saturday. Portuguese news agency LUSA cites an unidentified source at a local hospital as saying a man and a woman were killed, eight others were hospitalized with minor injuries, and 10 were given medical assistance at the site.

Thank you, Jesus. Your love for humanity is a shining beacon of hope for the world. See how well it's worked for Angola.

Drawing on the more than 500 years of Roman Catholicism in Angola, [Pope Hitleryouth] called Christianity a bridge between the local peoples and the Portuguese settlers. The country's history as a Portuguese colony gave the country Christian roots. Eighty percent of the 16 million people are Christian, about 65 percent Catholic.

"Portuguese settlers." What a hideous euphemism. Benedict XVI is truly a pig. So we hope this is an indication of things to come very soon.

The 81-year-old pontiff, wearing white robes, looked tired and moved slowly in the tropical heat during the youth appearance in late afternoon.

Take him back to your bosom, Jeezis. Now.