The Last Time I Saw Archie, He Was Trying Out For The Village People Reunion Tour

Beating McG. to the Archie punch again. (What the hell kind of viral publicity machine does Goldwater have going at the House of Archie? We don't go out of our way to look for this atuff — we weren't obsessing at the Archie site, but found this in a comment at TBogg's — but anything that happens in Riverdale seems to get on the radar.)

Admittedly, the calculated & cynical introduction of a gay character can be expected to drum up some free hype.

"The introduction of Kevin is just about keeping the world of Archie Comics current and inclusive. Archie's hometown of Riverdale has always been a safe world for everyone. It just makes sense to have an openly gay character in Archie comic books," said Jon Goldwater, Archie Comics co-CEO.

Oh, a fucking paradise, is it? A "safe" world? How can they say that? No one is safe from Muslim terror, not even in Riverdale, U. S. A.!

Kevin will make his entrance in the comic book in September.

Archie publishers provided a sneak peak of the the plot and a page of the comic book on its website.

The story begins when Kevin comes to Riverdale and promptly beats Jughead in a burger-eating contest. This gets the attention of Veronica who realizes that she is falling for Kevin.

"Mayhem and hilarity ensue as Kevin desperately attempts to let Veronica down easy and her flirtations only become increasingly persistent," Archie Comics said on its website.

Finally, Kevin confides in Jughead.

"It is nothing against her. I'm gay," the new character says.

And how "gay" can Kevin be if he beats Jughead in a hamburger-eating contest? Look, we don't know nothin' from this here gay stuff, but isn't Kevin supposed to tell Veronica ("Say, Jughead, I'm gay." Last person on earth, y'know?) he's gay, & then they become BFFs & conspire to get Archie away from that tramp, Betty, & into Ronnie's arms? Or to get Jughead out of the closet?