Monday, March 23, 2015

Inane Fantasy Report

Imagine you compiled a list of all the things Cruz asked his young audience to “imagine” being fulfilled through his presidency:
  • “…millions of courageous conservatives rising up to say in unison, ‘we demand our liberty.’”
  • “…millions of people in faith all across America coming out to the polls and voting our values.”
  • “…millions of young people standing together saying ‘We will stand for liberty.’”
  • “…booming economic growth”
  • “…record number of small businesses”
  • “…young people coming out of college with four, five, six job offers” (lulz)
  • “…innovation thriving on the internet as government regulators and tax collectors are kept at bay.”
  • “…America finally becoming energy self-sufficient.”
  • “…a new president signing legislation repealing every word of Obamacare.”
  • “…health care reform that keeps government out of the way of your and your doctor.”
  • “…a simple flat tax.”
  • “…abolishing the IRS.”
  • “…a president that finally, finally, finally secures the borders.”
  • “…a legal immigration that welcomes and celebrates those who come to achieve the America dream.”
  • “…a federal government that stands for the First Amendment rights of every American.”
  • “…a federal government that works to defend the sanctity of life and to uphold the sacrament of marriage.”
  • “…a federal government that fights to keep the right to bear arms.”
  • “…a federal government that protected the privacy rights of every American.”
  • “…repealing every word of Common Core.”
  • “…embracing school choice as the civil rights issue of the next generation.”
  • “…a president who stands unapologetically with the nation of Israel.”
  • “…a president who says I will honor the Constitution and under no circumstances will Iran be allowed to acquire a nuclear weapon.”
  • “…a president who says we will stand up and defeat radical Islamic terrorism.”
  • “…it’s 1775.”
  • “…it’s 1777.”
  • “…it’s 1943.”
  • “…it’s 1979.”
Now imagine an ass shitting on a human face forever & you have Cruz's future for us.

1 comment:

mikey said...

Hmm. My copy of the constitution doesn't say anything at all about Iran OR nuclear weapons. Maybe Ted could lend me his.