The Nanny Church

State of The Discourse: Posts. And worse, posts made of Twitterings.

The Subject: Life itself, made easier for the simpleuncomplicated.

The Shorter: How to Fuck, for Married w/ Children Jesus Freaks. (Emphasis theirs.)

Husbands, don’t waste every date night at a movie where you can’t talk. Use the time to visit with your wife, draw her out, and study her like you do the Bible.

Husbands, plan out your date nights. Ask you wife in advance what sounds good, see what your options are, and make a plan. She’ll be thankful.

[...]

Men, you don’t pursue a woman to marry her and stop pursuing her. You pursue a woman to marry her and pursue her with more passion and creativity than ever. How’s it going husbands?

Men, if you don’t date your wife, someone else may eventually volunteer for the job.

Ladies, sometimes it’s a great gift to go into your husband’s world for a date night by doing something like putting on a jersey going to a game and eating a hot dog. His love language may just be hot dog.

Men: find a shirt with buttons, try two eyebrows instead of one, find a breath mint or 20, show up with a gift, don’t ogle other women, and go to a restaurant that does not have a spork.

Sometimes the best date night is date breakfast, date lunch, or surprise pick up your spouse from work for an hour at a hotel.

Those trying to make sense of this in a context more recent than "The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet" should be advised that our source is a mega-church w/ "Biblical manhood" as one of its themes.

Below, "Pastor" Mark & the Missis. What Ricky Nelson would look like today.

Hair colored as gawd intended it.

While this sort of "men are pigs, women are teasing sluts" role play is thought to be headed in the direction of buggy whips, eight-track cartridges & printed, bound books, it's to be understood that three-card monte & other bunco schemes will always have a few willing players. No wonder the parishioners need to be reminded how & why to "date."