Holy Crap

A few yrs. back, wallowing in depresion & nostalgia more than we usually do, we looked for some of our one-time collegiate pals on the Internet.

While it appeared that the principal object of obsession, our first college honey (who became a lesbian after having sex w/ us for about six mos.) hadn't done anything web-worthy since a few shots from the school's Theater Dep't. were thrown up for public consumption, another actressing friend's name came up as well, but this person was a student at a seminary. Not the [NAME REDACTED] we're looking for, we thought, & were then almost as astonished to find that the [NAME REDACTED] we had been looking for had entered the seamy world of law enforcement, & on the side of the law, yet.

Whatever, you say. Our reaction too. Who knows what the hell people will do? Nothing to worry about, really. And we didn't, until J.D. Salinger's timely passing brought [NAME REDACTED] to mind; she & her then-boyfriend (R. I. P., [NAME REDACTED]'s then-boyfriend, [NAME ALSO REDACTED].) had done summer stock together one summer in Salinger's habitat of Cornish, N. H., where (so we were told) she met & befriended the "reclusive" Salinger. We heard about this long before the Joyce Maynard story came out, & have no reason to suspect [NAME REDACTED] was up to any such thing w/ the recent corpse.

But we were idly curious (& even the idlest of curiosities may be indulged these days) if [NAME REDACTED] had surfaced to mention, defend or whatever Salinger, so we plugged her redacted name into the fount of all knowledge, & were horrified (Shocked, we tell you!!) to discover that seminarian [NAME REDACTED] was the very same [NAME REDACTED], whom we, apparently, had never truly known, & who, after her law enforcement career, had attended more school & became a certified tool of Jesus. (Even pictures of her in full liturgical drag.)

[Good taste, common sense, & decency has required us to redact even the merest of the glowing recommendations we found, which we had intended to quote here; there's no reason for someone so obviously wonderful to suffer because she went to the same school as some creep XX yrs. ago. Suffice it to say they seem to like her there. This also means we lose a couple of self-deprecating funnies here, but we will say that it's terrible that someone a yr. older than we are should display any energy ("Energy" not being very specific.) at all. — Ed.]

People certainly are a strange lot, you can never know another human being, & so on. Bears repeating on occasion. The question though, is, should we, just for the hell of it, see if we can be Facebook friends? A retired cop joining the priesthood is a cinematic cliché already, innit? Or a conflation of the forces of repression & theocracy, even. Maybe not.