Deeply, Madly, Truly (Now W/ Afternoon UP-DATE)

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ already. Ross D. at The NYT is at it again. By it, of course, we mean analyzing movies for their conservatosity index, & screeching about "morality."

But “Funny People” is a Judd Apatow movie — endless penis jokes and all. It’s just a more grown-up one, in which doing the right thing comes harder, and bad choices aren’t easily unwound. The way it’s been received suggests that his fan base isn’t ready to hear this kind of story yet. But it’s also reminder that Americans of all ages tend to like their social conservatism much more in theory than in practice.

That's right, Ross, so why don't you just put a sock in it & go away. Far away.

More than most Westerners, Americans believe — deeply, madly, truly — in the sanctity of marriage. But we also have some of the most liberal divorce laws in the developed world, and one of the highest divorce rates.

Yes, we're filthy, stupid hypocrites, & frankly, nothing we say can be trusted.

Nor can much that Ross types be believed.

Still a virgin in middle age? Not to worry — you’ll find a caring, foxy woman who’s been waiting her whole life for an awkward, idealistic guy like you. Pregnant from a drunken one-night stand? Good news — the oaf who knocked you up will turn out to be a decent guy, and you’ll be able to keep the baby and your career as a rising entertainment-news anchorwoman. Frittering away your life on porn and pot? Fear not — your wasted twenties won’t stop you from being a great dad.

Oh. Well, that's a relief. Thanks, Mr. Douthat.

AFTERNOON UP-DATE: Ezra Klein seems to have a reading problem. And we quote:

Ross Douthat's column on Judd Apatow's "Funny People" is very good, for two reasons. The first is that it's simply a good column, and one of the first Ross has written that really plays to his strengths as a cultural critic and a translator of a certain socially conservative ethic.

What the fucking hell? What did Klein read? Is this another demonstration of inside the beltway/Villager assmunches & their non-stop circle-jerk? Even if this piece of shit does "play to" Douthat's "strengths" as a "translator of a certain socially conservative ethic," that ethic is so bankrupt Klein might as well be praising someone for finally figuring out how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. Until Douthat acknowledges The Enlightenment as a good thing, we may all be better off just ignoring him. This does make us wonder if Mr. "Thunder32" in the comments (Hither & yon, thanks for the plug!!) isn't absolutely correct. It's as if The NYT & WaPoo are begging not to be taken seriously. (It's working, too.)