Hello, Old Friends!

It's news to us, but it's going to be a real surprise to some people next time we're on a bender & drunk-dialing. It'll be even more of a surprise for them to see us on their front lawns brandishing a weapon. How? Leave it to the localChicago dog trainer to let all the stalkers in on it.

On Snitch.name, users can enter a name -- their own or someone else's -- and watch as the site culls information from dozens of search engines, social networks and directories.

Even more likely? One of these clowns showing up at our front door.

When Maya Rupert wrote an article frowning at several Southern states for officially celebrating Confederate History Month, Internet critics lined up to fire back. But this time, they arrived with more than harsh words. The 28-year-old Los Angeles attorney's detractors dug up a photo of her and posted it, along with details of political contributions she'd made, in an online discussion of the article she wrote for the L.A. Watts Times. They called their finds evidence of her bias on the emotionally charged subject.

Besides the revealing glimpse into our lunatic web persona, an interesting glimpse into the mind of the "Internet critic." (Note to Times web-weasels: Your new design isn't as ugly as the previous one, but if you keep calling trolls "Internet critics" you'll still be laughed out of town.)

"It really surprised me when I found out that people could see how much I donated to Obama," Rupert said, referring to the $400 she gave to the candidate last year, the record of which is available through several online watchdog sites. After that, Rupert said, "they pulled a picture off my firm's website and said, 'Of course she's black.'"

Well, sure, it's of bias of some sort when a black person doesn't support Confederate History Month. Apparently, unlike displays of rebel flags & such crapnot being in favor of Traitor's History Month makes someone a biased racist.

Anyway, we have some names to run through a search engine. See y'all later. (Maybe in person, if you're lucky.)