Thursday, September 29, 2016

Pissy Beer & A Baying Mob Of Imbeciles: That's America!

Have we noted how much we despise the cretins w/ whom we must share this benighted nation? Recently?
Let's outsource today's two-min. hate to an impartial observer, some limebag:
Team USA have only won five of the last 16 Ryder Cups. Four of those five victories have come on home soil. For the Americans to stand a chance of winning, they need their baying mob of imbeciles to caress their egos every step of the way. Like one of those brainless bastards from your childhood, the one that pulled down your shorts during the school’s Christmas assembly (fuck you, Paul Jennings), they only have the courage to keg you if they’re backed up by a giggling group of reprobates. Team Europe needs to shut those groupies up.

They need to silence the pudgy, basement-dwelling irritants, stuffed on cookie dough and pissy beer, pausing between mouthfuls of hotdog so they can scream ‘Baba booey’ until their jelly faces turn red.

They need to stun the angry, unwashed, Make America Great Again swarm, desperately gripping their concealed-carry compensators and belting out a mini-erection inducing ‘mashed potato,’* hoping to impress their cousin.

They need to smash the obnoxious dads, with their shiny teeth, Lego man hair, medicated ex-wives, and resentful children. Squeezed into their cargo shorts and boating shoes, they’ll bellow ‘get in the hole’ whilst high-fiving all the other members of the Dentists’ Big Game Hunt Society.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha! And in conclusion, "Death to America!!"
*We had no idea either. Know Your Meme® sez:
“Mashed Potatoes!” is a catchphrase shouted by spectators during men’s golf tournament games and popularized after videos of people yelling the phrase during Tiger Woods’ teeshot were uploaded onto YouTube. While the puzzling stunt has been observed since as early as during the 2010 PGA tournament,
the meaning behind the catchphrase itself remains little known to this day.
Still don't know that much. Here's some potato filler, like America's baying imbeciles get in their McDonald's milkshakes:


Steve M. said...

More taters:

It's James Brown's band:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

So... he's calling for golf hooligans to spring into existence? I'd actually bet on cargo-short mashed potato dad over effete british golfboy if it came to a donnybrook.