War On Dildoes!

Sad-assed, sad-faced sad sack Sen. Rafael Edward "Ted" Cruz is the biggest throbbing Nimrod ever:

 David Corn / Mother Jones:

The Time Ted Cruz Defended a Ban on Dildos  —  His legal team argued there was no right “to stimulate one's genitals.”  —  In one chapter of his campaign book, A Time for Truth, Sen. Ted Cruz proudly chronicles his days as a Texas solicitor general, a post he held from 2003 to 2008.

Discussion:

Eric Levitz / New York Magazine:   Ted Cruz Once Argued That Americans Have No ‘Due Process’ Right to Masturbate

Betsy Rothstein / The Daily Caller:   Ted Cruz's College Roommate Geni-tells All

Jon Green / AMERICAblog NewsAMERICAblog News:   As TX Solicitor General, Ted Cruz argued against the right to masturbate

Jim Hoft / The Gateway Pundit:   Bad Vibes=> Ted Cruz Defended Texas Ban on Sale of Dildos

Bethania Palma Markus / Raw Story:   Ted Cruz's former roommate just revealed his self-pleasuring technique — click only if you've already had lunch

JM Ashby / The Bob and Chez Show:   Things You Didn't Want to Know About Ted Cruz

Tom McCarthy / Guardian:   Trump supporters sent Colorado GOP chair ‘thousands’ of death threats - live

Joanna Rothkopf / The Slot:   Are You Surprised That Ted Cruz Once Fought Passionately Against Dildos?

J.K. Trotter / Gawker:   Here Is the Court Filing In Which Ted Cruz Defended a Ban on Dildos

We got a right!