PTSD

Every damn time some cocksucker knocks on my door I think it's either the police come to terrorize me for exercising my rights, or one of the greedy pig slumlord's flunkies come to evict me for not being more exploitable, & my heart starts pounding. I thought we weren't supposed to live in pain & fear. It's as if I've been lied to. 

Fuck everybody & everything for making me feel that way. Tell me why I shouldn't hate everyone & want to see them dead. You have no answer for that, & you know it. Look what they've done, lied about me, & had the police brutalize me! Check your so-called friends, you will never know someone's capacity for vicious evil (or simply heartless unconcern) until you're on the receiving end. I am so tired of suffering, but no amount of hospitalization & anti-anxiety medication will shut me up or improve my real-world situation, which is the problem, not my righteous & justified reaction to it. 

No one working to free this captive, oh no. I can just stew in the warehouse until I kiss enough ass.Fuck me, & fuck you all again. I can't even breathe w/o getting angrier.