Flame On!

Willing the apocalypse, reaping the inferno:

"This winter we began experiencing conditions that we would usually see in August,” said Chief Ken Pimlott, CAL FIRE director. “In Southern California we never really transitioned out of fire season and in Northern California we began hiring seasonal firefighters several months earlier than normal. We have increased our personnel and now we need the public to make sure they, too, are prepared for early fire season conditions.”

With record low rainfall, the grass and brush across California is tinder dry and ready to burn. Between January 1 and June 7, CAL FIRE responded to over 2,100 wildfires that charred over 17,000 acres. In an average year for the same time period, CAL FIRE would typically respond to about 1,250 wildfires for just over 10,000 acres.

Many of these fires have been sparked by powered equipment like lawn mowers and weed trimmers. While maintaining Defensible Space is critical right now, residents are asked not to use powered equipment outdoors during the heat of the day when it’s dry and windy, and especially on Red Flag Warning Days. Clearance work should be done in the early morning when temperatures are down and humidity is up, to avoid sparking a wildfire. One Less Spark, One Less Wildfire.

Because a neatly-trimmed lawn is all that matters. To hell w/ the aristocrats, when do we start killing the morons who pass as functional among us? Set the woods on fire w/ your fucking lawnmower, be burned at the stake, home-owning asshole.