So: Have you ever seen anything this precious? Went to some shit-hole during the Bloomfest noted below & the insignificant other ordered some crap that came in these
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| Olives & sun-dried tomatoes, duck terrine, pickled vegetables. In fucking jars. |
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Fuck You, Foodies
Prescience: Started this item (& got as far as the title before giving up) 19 July, but decided against it. (The eternal question: WHY FUCKING BOTHER?) Less than a wk. later we don't remember what awfulness inspired it, but something came along that fits perfectly; fortunately we hadn't deleted the draft.
So: Have you ever seen anything this precious? Went to some shit-hole during the Bloomfest noted below & the insignificant other ordered some crap that came in thesecute littleidiotic mini-Mason jars. (Which are made in fucking Italy. What's the matter, American jars not pretentious enough for you?)
The duck terrine had a distinctly chemical/airplane glue undertone. In fairness, our pastrami on mozzarella & flatbread w/ shitty-take mushrooms & some green stuff that tasted OK was pretty damn good.
Also about the only thing on the menu a self-respecting male American would have ordered.
So: Have you ever seen anything this precious? Went to some shit-hole during the Bloomfest noted below & the insignificant other ordered some crap that came in these
10 comments:
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Yeah, well I made some hotdogs.
ReplyDelete~
Grazing Editor:
ReplyDeleteToday's menu consisted of cigarettes & coffee, orange juice, Celeste® pizza for one™ Zesty 4 Cheese, a banana, cheese melted on an English muffin & Ralphs Frosted Flakes.
That pastrami on flatbread thing looks like something I whipped up a week or two ago, except that was salami and ham on flatbread, with shredded pepperjack rather than mozzarella, and whatever other assorted edibles were in my refrigerator that happened to be not too fur-covered. Pop it under the broiler for a few minutes to melt the cheese, and hey, pretty damn edible.
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, that pastrami thing is probably the only thing on that menu that a guy would actually order :).
- Badtux the Foodie(?) Penguin
Tasteless Editor:
ReplyDeleteThe flatbread was our least favorite part. We like our bread white, fluffy & not terribly flavorful.
Well, it was sorta like pizza, well, pizza if all you have is flatbread and miscellaneous luncheon meats and cheeses in your refrigerator. It tasted fine tho. As for fluffy bread, it's fine for spam sandwiches, but makes a lousy mini-pizza.
ReplyDelete- Badtux the Pizzaholic Penguin
Quotations Editor:
ReplyDelete"As gawd is our witness, we will never eat Spam again!"
Spam, spam, it's almost ham, pink glistening food of the gods, SPAM!
ReplyDeleteCue the Spam Song: "Spam spam spam spam SPAMITY SPAM, spam spam spam, SPAMITY SPAM, spam spam spam!"
In fairness, if you rarely eat meat, are single and buy food a week in advance, and thus need a "food product" that has a shelf life of somewhere between years and decades for those rare times when you want to cook spam, eggs, spam, spam, and spam, well. What can you do?
- Badtux the Spammy Penguin
Non-Judgemental Ed.:
ReplyDeleteNo freezer?
It's full of frozen pizza. I'm a bachelor, yo!
ReplyDeleteBachelor Nutrition Editor:
ReplyDeleteOh, of course. Have been off the frozen pizza lately, but have spent long periods in which it was our major food group.
We kinda like refrigerator pizza as a happy compromise between frozen & restaurant styles, but there's never a wide variety as it's store-brand product.