Telebision Up-Date: Commercial War On Christmas Underway ... Spread For Bike Messengers WHO WILL NOT TONE IT DOWN!

From The City of the Television Skies:

Commercial X-mess has been underway since a bit before Labor Day. Waiting until the traditional wk.-or-two-before-Hallowee'n start of the assault would cut into the zillions in interest K-Mart/Sears will be earning on America's money for the next couple of months.Economically telling, too: Layaway is back, & not just for "poor" folks. Now the middle-class sheep can be ripped off as well. And Hallowe'en's only seven wks. away! ... Happy to hear some lyrics (though not very many) written by long-time casual acquaintance The Mad Meltz via the idiot screen.Sock those bones away in the retirement fund, Richard! Too bad Ford didn't take any gummint money, you could be leeching from the taxpayers like we are ... The fall season looks to be the worst ever. In all of recorded human history. We can't even think of a new fall program. Not strictly true. Fox must be desperate, as they've been helping the L. A. Times out of bankruptcy w/ wrap-arounds, & today a special eight-page section. All of it in one eye & out the ear.

Lessee, there's a musical, a re-make of "Melrose Place" — Ah, there it is! The moment when the studios stopped pretending, & started admitting they enjoy the taste of their own flesh. No more theatrical adaptations of Saturday morning animation & popular sitcoms. Just tee vee eating tee vee. When the hell did the first (We didn't type "original" because, as much as we're griping here, telebision, since its days as radio w/ pictures, has rarely been ground-breaking, but in the Age of Transparency, it's no longer necessary, or even desirable, to assert novelty.) "Melrose Place" get shit-canned? Just as we thought, 1999. Make up your own Sex & The Clintonian Zeitgeist thing here, we're just noting that ten yrs. is now the limit on re-animating the dead. (How'd that BH 90210 thing work out, anyway?)

If it hasn't already happened, doubtless some young Hollywood goon will soon be suggesting that a movie be made of the tee vee show "M*A*S*H." After all, it got good ratings for its finale ... Ellipsing right along ... What is this? Re-formulated Miracle Whip? Or just re-branded; its previous demographic currently dying like flies (possibly as a result of MW consumption).We can't judge this from the perspective of the target demo; let's turn it over to someone who can.Go cat go!