"More than 80 percent of born-again or evangelical Christians believe that "God helps those who help themselves" is a Bible verse.
"More than half of graduating high school seniors guess that Sodom and Gomorrah were husband and wife, and one in ten adults believes that Joan of Arc was Noah's wife. (Those two must've been multiple-choice questions.)
"Almost two-thirds of Americans can't name at least five of the Ten Commandments. Some of these people, moreover, are outspoken promoters of them. Georgia representative Lynn Westmoreland, cosponsor of a bill to display the Ten Commandments in the chambers of the House of Representatives and Senate, could remember only three when Stephen Colbert asked him to recite them on The Colbert Report."
Really, fuck every one of you ignorant pieces of hypocritical shit. If we didn't feel that virtually all activity is an imposition on us we would have started thinning the flock long ago. Lamb chops!"More than half of graduating high school seniors guess that Sodom and Gomorrah were husband and wife, and one in ten adults believes that Joan of Arc was Noah's wife. (Those two must've been multiple-choice questions.)
"Almost two-thirds of Americans can't name at least five of the Ten Commandments. Some of these people, moreover, are outspoken promoters of them. Georgia representative Lynn Westmoreland, cosponsor of a bill to display the Ten Commandments in the chambers of the House of Representatives and Senate, could remember only three when Stephen Colbert asked him to recite them on The Colbert Report."
Plus which: A Mormon gets pissy, via bjkeefe. A note to the Mormies: Your bullshit church lies about how many of you there are. Don't get too carried away w/ the illusion of power, you theocratic fucksticks. Mountain Meadows, any one?
I gotta tell you, I can't play an instrument, but can I at least stand on the stage and bang a tambourine or something at the debut show of the "Theocratic Fucksticks?"...
ReplyDeleteThanks, man...
And when I say "...bang a tambourine", well, yeah, that's what I mean...
Can You Bang A Gong? Editor:
ReplyDeleteDon't be shy: If it's rock&roll, all you need is thirty secs. instruction on microphone technique. Then shout & scream until you feel better.
I'll work the cowbell.
ReplyDelete~
I usually get thoroughly depressed when I hear about "only X% of Americans know" surveys. Not this time!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh.
A&R Editor:
ReplyDeleteMore woodblock.
We're only in it for the laffs.